I don't even feel like writing this down but ok.
Yesterday, as I was at forum and this one guy wrote something like they won't accept excuses.
Anyway, I haven't decided yet if I'll go. Although I did buy a pair of pants today for the said event. If I decide to go. Dead line is tomorrow at noon. I'll let you know.
So my mother has a problem with me not telling her anything anymore. Well boo-hoo! It was bloody time I kept some parts of my life to myself. TWENTY-FUCKING-FIVE!!! "You never talk to me anymore yadda yadda yadda..." and I said I had nothing to say. I'm pretty sure it's eating her on inside, me going out all the time and she not knowing these people. Well, whatcha gonna do. Kids grow up. Besides, anything I'd wanna say lately, she'd just roll her eyes every time I'd mention the Internet and let's face it, all of these people I'm seeing I met online, and when something comes in the mail, it's from people I met online, and even if I try to tell them about something funny that happened at Uni, they never think it's funny or interesting so there, that's why I shut the door behind me when I go into my room. They have their own topics of conversation I don't care about and vice versa. Why wouldn't I then just talk here to people who share my interests, no matter what my interests are and no matter where those people are? They certainly understand me better. And they do not judge.
And I know that lately all I do is rant but it's how I feel. I've had an ecstatic period and now I feel the sinking is coming. Seriously, bi-polar. No other explanation. Like yesterday. It was just one of those days, y'know, when nothing is really wrong but everything is wrong. And I just didn't feel like talking to anyone so I just watched "Hi-Fi" that happened to be on TV (only my favourite movie ever!) and put myself into bed and watched "House" and "Nip/Tuck" and then went to sleep. Well, somewhere after the movie, mom came into the room and asked why was I pissed off. OH MY GOD! How annoyed was I! Seriously, I've been having these days forever and she knows it. But when I said it was just that kinda day, she rolled her eyes as if it was a personal attack on her or something! It's like suddenly I'm 15 and all I ever do is not get along with my mother. I don't know how that happened, all I know is that it's happened 10 years too late.
UPDATE: I'm not going.
My family thinks I'm doing drugs. My sister thinks I have a boyfriend/lover. Her friend (??!) thinks I'm in a cult (God knows what my sister had told that girl if that was her conclusion). It was like "You should get out more. You're always home. That's not good." Now... It's wrong for me to go out, to have friends (okay, not friends but people to spend time with) they don't know. It's wrong not to tell them EVERYTHING.
Anyway, my sister was getting ready to go to the city and I'm like: "It's St. Ante today, there's a big crowd in the city, they're revealing the monument on the main square and the traffic is a nightmare at the bridge." And she's like: "Oh so you can go out and I can't? Is that so?" and I choose to ignore her because obviously, I was only trying to be helpful, not mean. Then I'm on the computer because mother has called and reminded me to send a b-day card to cousin and the chair I'm sitting on is in front of the mirror and my oh so gorgeous sister wants to take a look at herself. So I get up take a step back but the chair is still in front of the mirror and she goes: "Move that chair." And I move the chair (you should also know that this happened five minutes ago and I was sorta crying while talking to WFW about not going because my family is apparently screwed up) and bow to her highness and she goes: "What's with making faces?" and once again I'm ignoring her. Then I notice a little clip in her hair and think she forgot to remove it after putting make up on and say: "You have a hair clip in your hair." and she gives me a weird look and I go: "Oh is that there on purpose?" and she says: "Do you look like that on purpose?" I try to ignore her really hard but then she says: "You'll pay for everything." and I say: "I know..." (because her threats are old as hills and she does fulfill every now and then) and she says: "Well you better know." and leaves.
Yesterday, as I was at forum and this one guy wrote something like they won't accept excuses.
Anyway, I haven't decided yet if I'll go. Although I did buy a pair of pants today for the said event. If I decide to go. Dead line is tomorrow at noon. I'll let you know.
So my mother has a problem with me not telling her anything anymore. Well boo-hoo! It was bloody time I kept some parts of my life to myself. TWENTY-FUCKING-FIVE!!! "You never talk to me anymore yadda yadda yadda..." and I said I had nothing to say. I'm pretty sure it's eating her on inside, me going out all the time and she not knowing these people. Well, whatcha gonna do. Kids grow up. Besides, anything I'd wanna say lately, she'd just roll her eyes every time I'd mention the Internet and let's face it, all of these people I'm seeing I met online, and when something comes in the mail, it's from people I met online, and even if I try to tell them about something funny that happened at Uni, they never think it's funny or interesting so there, that's why I shut the door behind me when I go into my room. They have their own topics of conversation I don't care about and vice versa. Why wouldn't I then just talk here to people who share my interests, no matter what my interests are and no matter where those people are? They certainly understand me better. And they do not judge.
And I know that lately all I do is rant but it's how I feel. I've had an ecstatic period and now I feel the sinking is coming. Seriously, bi-polar. No other explanation. Like yesterday. It was just one of those days, y'know, when nothing is really wrong but everything is wrong. And I just didn't feel like talking to anyone so I just watched "Hi-Fi" that happened to be on TV (only my favourite movie ever!) and put myself into bed and watched "House" and "Nip/Tuck" and then went to sleep. Well, somewhere after the movie, mom came into the room and asked why was I pissed off. OH MY GOD! How annoyed was I! Seriously, I've been having these days forever and she knows it. But when I said it was just that kinda day, she rolled her eyes as if it was a personal attack on her or something! It's like suddenly I'm 15 and all I ever do is not get along with my mother. I don't know how that happened, all I know is that it's happened 10 years too late.
UPDATE: I'm not going.
My family thinks I'm doing drugs. My sister thinks I have a boyfriend/lover. Her friend (??!) thinks I'm in a cult (God knows what my sister had told that girl if that was her conclusion). It was like "You should get out more. You're always home. That's not good." Now... It's wrong for me to go out, to have friends (okay, not friends but people to spend time with) they don't know. It's wrong not to tell them EVERYTHING.
Anyway, my sister was getting ready to go to the city and I'm like: "It's St. Ante today, there's a big crowd in the city, they're revealing the monument on the main square and the traffic is a nightmare at the bridge." And she's like: "Oh so you can go out and I can't? Is that so?" and I choose to ignore her because obviously, I was only trying to be helpful, not mean. Then I'm on the computer because mother has called and reminded me to send a b-day card to cousin and the chair I'm sitting on is in front of the mirror and my oh so gorgeous sister wants to take a look at herself. So I get up take a step back but the chair is still in front of the mirror and she goes: "Move that chair." And I move the chair (you should also know that this happened five minutes ago and I was sorta crying while talking to WFW about not going because my family is apparently screwed up) and bow to her highness and she goes: "What's with making faces?" and once again I'm ignoring her. Then I notice a little clip in her hair and think she forgot to remove it after putting make up on and say: "You have a hair clip in your hair." and she gives me a weird look and I go: "Oh is that there on purpose?" and she says: "Do you look like that on purpose?" I try to ignore her really hard but then she says: "You'll pay for everything." and I say: "I know..." (because her threats are old as hills and she does fulfill every now and then) and she says: "Well you better know." and leaves.
11 spoke back:
For some reason this post made me think of this song by Neko Case:
"Hold On, Hold On"
The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind but my own blood is much too dangerous
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time
Compared to some I've been around
But I really tried so hard
That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"
In the end I was the mean girl
Or somebody's in-between girl
Now it's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love
I leave the party at three a.m.
Alone, thank God
With a valium from the bride
It's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love
And that's as real as true love
That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"
That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"
Holly shit, that sounds familiar!
(not the song, never heard, but the words...)
Glad you didn't go for it as lame as that sounds. Good for you. So sorry about your mom, that shit is just so lame. I wish wish wish you could find a way to move out but I know your sit. and it's hard. The only way my mom and I came to be civil and then actually friends (omg for real) was when I moved out and only came home like once a week to say hi.
She really does need a reality check that you are 25 and a real grown up.
This is going to sound SOOOO LAAAAME but hear me out. What if you write her a letter, when your not pissed off, and explain (calmly and without blame and curses) that yes you do still live at home but it's not stopping you from becoming an adult. And like Adults you need privacy and a certain amount of respect for your personal life. Tell her that you appreciate the opportunity to go to school and not have to pay for housing (so she'll be happy) but you honestly need your freedom.
It's corny but well worth a try, what else are you gonna do? Fight? Yuk.
(and tell your sister to fuck off :)
Missed you last night and the night before! Let's fucking chat and chase the Blues away!!!
You got the Blues Baby! You got the Blues!
Let's make some ROCK!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!
BJP brochure arrived today!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
It wouldn't work, Lindy, but God, I wish it would. She'd be like: "Are you in a letter-writing cult now?" or something.
And yaaaay, Doc!
I'll telling ya, my sis, yours, in a car, over a ravin... it iss an accident, I swear Officer!
Cult?? AAH hah hahahah I'm sorry you poor thing, but that IS funny. Cult, oh holord.
Krissie,
Your sister is a bitch. So what if she's more beautiful than you supposedly are? She is ugly from the inside and it will show later on in life. I promise you.
(okay, I understand that maybe in a while you will feel different, and then I will feel different too, but for now: BIATCH)
You in a cult? Yes you are, just like me. It's the cult of the Sistah's! Just come what with us, babe, we adore you.
If there was any way for me to come to Croatia and get to know you better, the real you (because I know what you're thinking, we internet buddies love you because we do NOT know you), I would so do it. The fraction, the tiny bit of what you have given us, is absolutely amazing. Don't let anyone else tell you different.
In fact, I think it is a major plus that we met this way. Now we get to skip the annoyances of awkward silences, grumpy moods and the lack of eloquence. We went straight for the content, the things that really matter. So to me, you could be the grumpy friend of few words, I'd still love you anyway, because you are witty, smart, down-to-earth, and your most refreshing quality -- honest.
Hang in there -- you will prevail.
Bel
lol, Bel, I indeed am grumpy and of few words! You do know me, better than you think! So we're a cult now... OK, just don't tell my sister that!
What a giant rediculous bitch. If I was in a cult I would cast a spell on her or something like that. Like maybe to not be a tattle tale rat bastard evil skinny bitch (and to gain 50 lbs and have ger get acne.) Yep I think that would be appropriate.
hey churchie! you ARE in a cult! *evil grin*
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