Depressed

I'm feeling so bad. I could literally burst into tears every given moment. I can't even explain it all that well. I'm just... hopeless. Like so many times before. And it seems to me that lately no one talks to me. It might be irrational but I think it's not.
People used to send me text messages. Not many people but a few would do that often. Not anymore. Then online... I'm being ignored most of the time. (I can't believe I'm complaining about people I don't even know. And if you were wondering, I do realise how pathetic and disturbed this sounds.) I even went to the movies last night, thinking watching Oceans's 13 would make me feel better. Thinking just getting out of the house would make me feel better. It didn't.
It's like having a big rock sitting on your chest. I don't feel like having company and I don't feel like being alone. I would like to be distracted somehow but I don't think it's possible. I wish I had friends who would notice me. I wish I didn't have to pretend everything is OK with my family. I mean, I don't have to but it's easier.
I wish I wasn't me.

UPDATE: OK, I cried a lot, talked to mom (she was the only one at hand) and now I have a headache. I'm going to supply me with some chocolate, I have a feeling I'll be needing it.
Phineas, baby, thanks for the e-mail. I began to write a reply but couldn't think of anything to say. I'll get back to it when I get better. YKM, you rock my world.