Thursday 31 May 2007

Just Like Jesse James

I'm sorry, I need this. Laugh all you want.


"Just Like Jesse James"

You're struttin' into town like you're slingin' a gun
Just a small town dude with a big city attitude
Honey are ya lookin' for some trouble tonight
Well all right

You think you're so bad, drive the women folk wild
Shoot 'em all down with the flash of your pearly smile
Honey but you met your match tonight
Oh, that's right

You think you'll knock me off my feet 'til I'm flat on the floor
'Til my heart is cryin' Indian and I'm beggin for more
So come on baby
Come on baby show me what that loaded gun is for


If you can give it I can take it
'Cause if this heart is gonna break it's gonna take a lot to break it I know tonight
Somebody's gonna win the fight
So if you're so tough
Come on and prove it
You heart is down for the count and you know you're gonna lose it
Tonight you're gonna go down in flames
Just like Jesse James

You're an outlaw lover and I'm after your hide
Well you ain't so strong, won't be long 'til your hands are tied
Tonight I'm gonna take you in dead or alive
That's right

You break the laws of love in the name of desire
Take ten steps back cause I'm ready baby
Aim and fire
Baby there's nowhere you gonna run tonight
Ooh that's right

Well you've had your way with love but it's the end of the day
Now a team of wild horses couldn't drag your heart away
So come on baby
Come on baby
Come on baby you know there ain't nothing left to say


You think you'll knock me off my feet 'til I'm flat on the floor
'Til my heart is cryin' Indian and I'm beggin for more
So come on baby
Come on baby, come on


Tonight you're gonna go down in flames
Just like Jesse James
Tonight you're gonna go down in flames
Just like Jesse James

I'm gonna shoot you down Jesse James

Wednesday 30 May 2007

This & That

Aah, one of those days with absolutely nothing to write about. Excellent.
Some kind of awful music is playing on R+, sister is getting ready for the night shift and I am sitting in front of the PC, as usual.
We were watching "Waiting" earlier, my sister and I. It's funny. I was a bit scared that it wouldn't be but it is. Gross, sure, but funny nonetheless.
OK, this is how lame I am: on the train I consciously sat on the right side just to be able to take a look at the part of the city where a certain someone lives. I cannot quite explain it. And I am deeply embarrassed about it. I need help. See, this is my problem: I slip into the obsession way too easily.
An amusing story. Well, mildly amusing. OK, it's not amusing at all but I have no life so I have nothing to write about. So you're gonna need background. 1. I am a member of a Croatian dating site. STOP LAUGHING! I am not there for the dating, I specifically wrote in my profile I'm only there to chat to people online, nothing more. I have no intention to meet anyone desperate enough to try to meet someone through the online dating service. No offense to anyone. 2. You know I worked in a diving centre last summer. There I met two guys from Karlovac ( a city in Croatia). One of them was really nice, fun guy, a diving instructor. The other was so annoying and oh so boring that we were literally saving each other when he would start a conversation with someone. It would go something like this: he would start a conversation with, say, Jelena, and then the boss or whoever was around would come up to them and go like: Jelena, you're needed in the office. And then she would bail.
So yesterday on that site I saw that a guy with a nick same as the name of the sunken ship that is one of the diving locations at Krk has checked out my profile. And I see that he's from Karlovac and I'm thinking it could be that nice guy I've met so I send him a message. Of course, it had to be the other guy! Now I'm kinda worried he might, I don't know, track me down or something. He's leechy like that! I think I better change my profile, my name... everything.
I rented "Broken Flowers" to watch tonight. God, my life is so boring.

UPDATE: "Broken Flowers"... blah, IMHO. What kind of an ending is that? Movie-making people, please don't make me think. Gimme all the solutions and don't leave me with any untied ends. That is all. (Unless it's "Kill Bill vol.I", then it's OK because there's a vol.II to follow but mostly because Mr Tarantino can do whatever he wants. *waves at Mr Tarantino*)
Oh and crush... He sings. I didn't just discover this, I just remembered only now. Seriously, I have got to stop thinking about a person I am never going to see again. But damn, I would like to hear him sing... *sigh*

currently reading: Head Over Heels, Susan Andersen (*embarrassed*)

Tuesday 29 May 2007

Horoscope

Sagittarius
November 22 - December 20
Strong forces may be acting up and asking you to stand up a little straighter than usual, dear Sagittarius. Keep your shoulders back and be proud. Don't think of yourself as any less of a person just because there is disagreement between you and the people around you. Maintain high respect for yourself and your opinions. Say things with confidence; don't back down, but be prepared to fight.


Hmm... interesting. And I just felt like NOT maintaining high respect for myself and my opinions. You know, as usual, agreeing with whatever anyone says and stuff. Cuz that's so me.

And this is why I think that horoscope is bullshit.

Monday 28 May 2007

Sex Talk

I've been thinking about sex today. (Majo i Anja, možda je bolje da ovo preskočite...)
To be more precise, I've been thinking about me NOT having sex. Not only not having it but not wanting to have it. Ever. Again. (Or, y'know, never say never but at least for now.)
So why is that so? I'll try to explain. If it's too much for you, by all means, do go away.
OK, here goes.
In theory, I like sex. At one point, I even liked having it. Unfortunately, the last time that happened I was 19. Yes. 19. It was with a guy who knew how to get to me, how to make me relax, how to make me feel right, and yeah, how to turn me on. Hell, I would almost cum on my way to see him just thinking about what he did last time. It was with him that I learned what the sex was really about and how sex is supposed to feel. I was free with him. I had no problem with getting up and walking across the room naked. Now... I'm not comfortable being naked with myself. Funny? Sad? I don't know.
I've slept with a few other guys after him (yeah, maybe two or three in 6 years) but it was never nearly as good. Not even close. I don't quite know why. See, I wasn't traumatised by horrible sex because of... I don't know... pain or an inconsiderate partner or whatever. One would think that I would be looking forward to it after that guy. But somehow that didn't happen. In fact, it seems as if I am getting more and more uncomfortable about the whole thing (if I can even say "more and more" since I basically don't even have sex). Instead of growing up and experiencing sex like something completely natural and enjoyable, like any other normal person does, I try real hard not to get myself in the situation that might lead to it (OK, I don't try real hard, it's not like I get offers for sex on every corner).
There are few reasons. 1) I don't like to show my body to anyone. I really, really hate my breasts. I hate how different they are. I hate how odd they are. I don't want anyone to see them again. 2) I worry about everything. I worry if I'm gonna get pregnant. I worry if I'm gonna catch a disease. I worry about doing things right. I worry about looking good. I worry about making weird sounds (which is really strange since I'm usually so freaked out that I don't make a sound). 3) It feels stupid. Embarrassing. The whole process. The sounds people make are stupid. Men make stupid faces while having sex (not that women don't, but I only had the opportunity to look at men at that particular situation). Putting clothes on after is an awkward situation. 4) I don't feel good. I cannot relax. I need someone who would be willing to work on me (cannot think of a better expression here) until I'm ready to open up (again, I don't mean literally). And as I get older, it's only harder to let that happen. How can I explain to someone that I am basically a beginner? That I don't know anything? That I may not be a real virgin but not far from one?
I don't think I am frigid (although many men would probably disagree). In theory, I like sex. I like to be touched. I like making out. I like to feel skin under my fingers. As long as my clothes stays on. I like to read about sex (but I also like to read about teenage wizards fighting Lord Voldemort so maybe that doesn't mean anything). I like to see people having sex (on TV, not peeking through people's windows). It's only the actual act of sex that I have a problem with.
Am I a freak?
(And does this explain why I have been single for the last 2 years?)

Sunday 27 May 2007

Sunday Blabber

Finally finished the research paper. On what? The Royal Shakespeare Company, duh. It is really really long and even more boring. Unbelievable.
I feel like I should be treating myself with something really unhealthy. Must ponder on that.
I've been wanting to tell this lil' story for days now but kept forgetting. Well here goes now: the other morning I was brushing my hair and tying it in a pony-tail. And then there were a few disobedient hairs that I couldn't control so I took the hair-spray and started spraying like lunatic. And then my sisters comes out of the room, looks at me and goes: What are you doing? Not with THAT!! And I look at the bottle and it's not the hair-spray I'm holding, but a deodorant. Idiot. (Luckily, it was black-dress-approved so it didn't leave white marks on my head.)
What else? Uhm... Yesterday my Dad "celebrated" his 49th birthday. So I ate and I ate and I ate the entire day. Speaking of, I'm kinda hungry now... Must be all the writing wearing me out.
Sonja made the plan for her birthday party. Well, calling it a "party" is a bit of a stretch because it will basically be a few of us in her back yard, eating and drinking. Oh wait... it IS a party! Well OK! Oh yeah, it's on June 22. lol It's never too early for looking forward to getting drunk. And the fact that it is going to happen in the middle of the exams just makes it that much better.
And I think that would be it.

Friday 25 May 2007

Hm...

People simply cannot stop talking about my boobs.
A few minutes ago, a guy from R+ night out told me how he knows people noticed me. And then added they at least noticed them. So I asked who, although I had a pretty good idea. How? Well...
Remember model guy? Probably not, unless you are a visitor of WFW's Cbox . Anyway, there's this guy, a model, who is a friend of the guy I supposedly flirted with on the R+ forum. That model guy wasn't there that night but he told me he has heard about my boobs. (???) I asked who told him but he didn't want to say. I assumed it was Xxxx cuz they are like best friends but I didn't insist. How are they such good friends is beyond me, since model guy is sooo boring and this other guy is anything but boring but uwwkey. (BTW, I dreamt of that guy the other day, during my afternoon nap. I passed him by, turned around while walking and smiled. That's all. But why am I dreaming of people I only met once in my life?)
And tonight this other guy told me how I was noticed and I asked by who(m?) and he told me to guess. And I said Xxxx and he said I was right.
Here comes the funny part: my boobs... NOT SO GREAT! In fact, I call them Freak Sisters because they are completely different. Their size is different, the left one is a cup-size bigger than the right one; I have to stuff right cup with pads to make them appear even. They are the source of my biggest complex. If I had the money and wasn't terrified of the operation, I would fix them in a second. So to have people discussing them... It's amusing but scary at the same time. Mostly because I have decided a while ago never to let another man see them again. Ever.
Is this too much of the real me? Well...

Friday Blabber

Aah, yes... Friday.
This is how it began. I woke up somewhere around 5.30 for no reason whatsoever. I just did. Then I couldn't sleep until 7.30 where I would have given anything just to be able to stay in bed but unfortunately, it was time to get up and drag my ass to the fucking P.E. So I got up, did the usual morning crap and went to the city. I got there around 9.15, went to the library to get some books and then sat by the river waiting for 10.30 to come so I could, oh joy, join my fellow sufferers in walking around the bridges in burning Sun. And then... the professor never showed up. Yep. I came for nothing.
So I returned home. Where I treated myself to a perfect getaway in my mind: sunbathing in the yard. See, I don't need the beach. All I need is the Sun. I threw bathing suit on and got out in the Sun for about 45 minutes. It got really hot in the first two. lol The drops of sweat gliding down my skin, accumulating in my belly button... Unfortunately, Ferdo thought it might amuse me if he climbed on my stomach and stayed there. It didn't amuse me. But as he is a completely unreasonable dog, I had no choice but to leave.
I've spent a part of my afternoon writing my essay on The Royal Shakespeare Company. Yes, it is just as interesting as it sounds.

Thursday 24 May 2007

Goodbye, HT

Today we had our last HT class.
Let's take a moment.
...
Of course, we will see him on the exam but no more classes. No more HT Thursdays. No more giggling, no more inappropriate comments, no more fun...
HT, thank you for the lovely semester. You will be missed.

Wednesday 23 May 2007

Spring

As I was crossing the street today, I saw one of the finest specimens of male gender walking in front of me. Tall, really tall, around 2m, dark hair, broad shoulders and a great butt. So I'm staring at his behind (it was basically all I could see, I'm a tiny person) and I trip and almost fall on my face. Why was I even checking him out? I don't care about men. Must be spring messing with my mind.
Funny story. We had to make up for some lost classes and we were supposed to have a class from 10.15 till... dunno... 11.30 or so. So I got up at 7.45, got on the train at 8.54, got to Osijek at 9.10, wasted some time just sitting in the sun till 10.15 and then the professor came and held the class. For 20 minutes. I kid you not. Then she let us go. It was 10.35. Then I sat in the sun again. Because the train was leaving at 11.55. And that was my day so far.

Tuesday 22 May 2007

My Girl

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day...
The song's been playing in my head for hours now. Help!

Off to the theatre!

ETA: Back from the theatre. OMG!!! It was fucking brilliant! And completely indescribable. The best part was the actor Živko Anočić, IMHO.



Monday 21 May 2007

I've Got Nothing To Wear & Other Crap

Rant time, baby!
All right!
...
OK, stop.
That was to cheerful a start for the rant-post. Allow me to start again.
First of all, I've got nothing to wear. But you see, this is not the usual girly girl's I've got nothing to wear! cry while standing in front of the open closet before going out. Oh no. We're talking a much more serious case of nothingtowearitis. [singing]Is it cuz I'm cool...[/singing] Well, it's not. It's cuz I'm fat. I know, I know... You'll be biting my head off, yelling You're not fat!!! and all that but the truth is that none of my last summer's clothes fits me anymore. A few minutes ago I tried a skirt on. No. It stopped somewhere between my thy and my butt. I barely took it off. It was stuck for a minute or two. Then I tried a pair of pants. Same thing. And those are supposed to be a bit stretchy. They stretched all right. All over my planet-sized butt. Then finally I pulled one pair all the way up to my waist. Now, buttoning them was another story... So I did that somehow and it cut my belly into two. A lovely scene. Trust me when I tell you. But OK, if I wear this one shirt with them, it doesn't show. So I'm happy. Until I tried to sit down... Oh joy. I can't breathe. I can't talk. I CAN'T GET UP!!!
Fuck this. I need chocolate.
We were told today there'll be no classes between 12pm and 3pm tomorrow because there's some kind of a celebration at the Uni. Yaay, right? Wrong. We will be having Essay Writing 2.30pm-3.30pm. Crap. Crap. Crap. Was thinking I'd be getting home earlier. Unfortunately, I'll have an hour and a half to kill. Luckily for me, I was swearing so loudly while trying clothes on that my Mom, God bless her, came and gave me some money to go and buy me some pants tomorrow. She can't have her grown daughter running around the Uni semi-naked, right?
My sister didn't quit after all. Wait, wait, let me explain! She actually went to see her boss and told her she's quitting. Oh yes she did! My little brave sister! Then her boss got all surprised like OMG, but why??!!! and my little brave sister calmly told her everything that was wrong. Then her boss asked her to take a week and reconsider and promised to take care of the fucked up shifts so that she wouldn't be working like that all the time. Then my little brave sister told her that no other nurse would accept to work that way. Then her boss shut up. Went blank. Had nothing to say. Then my sister said she'll stay for a while to see if things will improve but also said that she is actively looking for another job. Yes, she told her boss that! So now we wait...
And tomorrow I am going to see a play. I am looking forward to that.
And if I'm not horribly mistaken (Majo, I'll be needing your judgment here!), I think I was online flirting on the R+ Forum with one of the guys from the radio... I have the convo but don't feel like translating it.

Sunday 20 May 2007

Sunday Blabber

Funny, I haven't had a Sunday blabber so far. Well, there's a first time for everything.
Today I cooked for the first time in a long time. My Mom is at work till 3pm, sister works the whole day so me and my Dad were on our own. And it's kind of sad because it isn't Sunday if we're not all at the table at noon.
Sister is quitting her job. She's had it. They treat her like help there instead of an equal and she's a nurse just like everyone else but she came last and she works like this: Monday-Thursday 2pm-9pm, every week, no exceptions, and Saturday-Sunday 7am-2pm, and most of the holidays. Then they call her to fill in for those who are on vacation or sick or whatever. For instance, last Friday, which is the only day off that she has, her boss called her and told her to come in the night shift cuz one of her colleagues was sick. I only found out cuz I accidentally walked out of the room and saw her standing in the bathroom, crying. Who could blame her? It was her only day off!! And another thing: she's 23 and she never gets to go out because she either comes home at 9.30pm or she gets up at 6am next morning. And she's not like me, she likes to go out. Poor thing. Not to mention her salary. For instance, in hospital nurses make 4000-5000kn; in this nursing home she makes 2300-2500kn. And she's so responsible and hard working and she can find a better job than that. I am totally behind her as is the rest of the family. She doesn't have to put up with that crap anymore. So I say, good for her!
I totally forgot about this! It happened on Thursday. It was just after the HT class. We (Maja, Anja, Martina and me) were going to have some coffee so we were passing by one of the cafes and there they were, sitting on the terrace, HT and this idiot girl and another girl from our class, having coffee, talking, hanging out. It turned out that they sat there for about 2 hours. 2 hours! There is no justice in this world. None whatsoever.

Saturday 19 May 2007

Stand In The Corner And Keep Quiet

I'm about to go over to Sonja's. Just to kill time. And boredom.
Anyway... I keep talking to these two guys I met at R+. It seems to me that they expect me to come again. It's not that I didn't have a good time. I did. But let me tell you, being in that kind of a crowd puts a lot of pressure on yours truly. Here's why. First of all, it's a big crowd. I get lost in a big crowd. Then I tend to stand in the corner and keep quiet. How much fun is that? Not much, right? Secondly, they are all quite loud and funny.. in one word - interesting. I, on the other hand, am not. I know some of you might jump on this and disagree but you are all well aware of the fact that it's one thing to be funny or smart or witty or whatever online, where you have time to stop and think and organise your thoughts before you write them down, and even delete stuff you're not happy with, and quite another to be all that when talking to people face to face, especially unknown people. (Do I win something for the longest sentence ever?) When in that kind of a situation, I, you guessed it, tend to stand in the corner and keep quiet. Then you should know that Croatians in general, when among friends, mock each other and tease each other and joke on each other's accounts. No one gets offended (or at least shouldn't), but it's important to have a good comeback no matter what the topic is. And I don't. So that creates a lot of pressure. And I get nervous and then I tend to stand in the corner and keep quiet. I was really sorry for those two guys who, because they were the ones who talked me into coming, I'm sure felt obliged to keep me company and entertain me just so I wouldn't be alone in my corner. And then I felt guilty because of that. So I don't think I'll be going there again. I'm sure no one understands this but it's just how I feel.
And I know I should stop talking about this at this point, cuz it was like three days ago but I can't cuz I'm going over the whole thing over and over and over in my head and every time I do that it just gets worse. Obsessed much? I know.

Friday 18 May 2007

TGIF

It's Friday with no P.E. How great is that? Unless, of course, we were misinformed and there actually was a class and we missed it. lol Then I'll have to go around the bridges TWO times next time! LMFAO
I should get some sleep. A nap. I'm a a fan too, just like Went. I need to make up for that night. I am so old...
Anyway, I might be back later if something happens. *cracking self up*

UPDATE:
OK, nothing happened. lol I was just watching this movie, In Good Company, and suddenly I hear the oh so familiar music. It was Cannonball by Damien Rice. I fucking love that song! So I was happy. And depressed, cuz let's be honest, that's one depressing song. And that's why I love it.
The movie's bad though. There. I'm done.

UPPERDATE: Apparently we were misinformed and we are going to have to go around the bridges twice next time. Somebody, please, shoot me. (Lindy, is your dad available?)

Thursday 17 May 2007

Went Out After All




EDIT: Some of the guys from last night and I am there too, lol (and no, those are not weird Croatian names, those are their forum nicks)

How, you might wonder. Well... Let me first tell you that I want to write so many things now but I'm pretty sure that I'll screw it up. You're warned. Ok, here goes...

After I told everyone at the forum that I'm not coming after all, they all went like Duh! We knew it! What's the excuse this time? and so on. Then one of the guys, who happens to be from my village told me he'd be going by train and suggested I went with him. (Uočimo naučeni preneseni govor, Majo i Anja! hahaha) After careful consideration that took about 5 minutes I decided I'd go! What the hell, I had to leave the house eventually. And I simply left. I met the guy at the train station and we got to the Radio Plus. We were the first ones there but soon enough people started coming. I ended up meeting around 30 people! Imagine my shock! But the best thing is that they are all so different, and yet open to everyone and everyone tried to talk to everyone else and people took pictures and we laughed... I don't have the pictures yet. If I get them, and if I'm happy with them, I'll show them to you. If I'm not... Well...
Anyhow, everyone was so surprised to see me in flesh! It was like So you're Kris! or Oh, you're the donkey! (cuz the very well known donkey is my avatar at the forum) and then they would take a good, long look at me. To be quite honest, that felt a bit weird. lol I met two of the hilarious guys that create my favourite R+ show, 10 do 12, and they are as hilarious in person as they are on air. Plus, one of them is really, really cute, baby face an' all, just my type. And I gave him a little kiss on the cheek. And then as we were talking later, and people were saying they were our celebrities and stuff, I asked if I could get his autograph and he asked where would I want it and I said Wherever you want. Of course, he asked if could sign it on my boob! What is it with people and my boobs??! (Did I mention I wore a top with quite a deep cleavage? lol) Not that it has anything to do with anything. Just saying.
I'm really sorry for not being able to transfer the convos into English. A lot of it was you had to be there type of convo and even more were the intern jokes. Like when 30 people shouted She's like so whatever from Avril's Girlfriend (it's one of those jokes, that song) and then continued the conversations like nothing interrupted them. LMAO But y'know, you had to be there...
One guy felt the urge to share his entire love life within the two minutes of meeting me, including the part of him and his current girlfriend having sex for the first time. Oh yeah, the girl was there too. So he was in the middle of the story when she walked up to us and asked what we were talking about. Awkward much? I just said He's telling me your love story. (I know, euphemisms, euphemisms...) and she said Well, don't let me interrupt you then! and bounced away. And he kept going...
So at one point I looked over my shoulder and saw a boy that looked oddly familiar but I had no idea why or where I could have possibly met him. Then, a few minutes later, I basically bumped into him and it hit me: we went to the same high school! But that's not all! He was a year older than me (I'm pretty sure he still is, lol) and our classes shared a classroom, we would be there in the morning and they in the afternoon and vice versa. And I had such a crush on him for three years! Of course, I didn't say that! What I did say was Hey, I know you! and he gave me a weird look. That didn't stop me so I continued with Opća gimnazija? Class A? (that's the name of my high school and his class) and he nodded. So we shook hands and he said his name and I went Oh, I know your name! Luckily, it was dark so he didn't see me blush. He also didn't find out how I wrote a note on his desk asking for his name in 3rd grade. Nor did I share that I remembered what he wore in high school. Maybe that's just me, but I'm pretty sure it would freak him out if he knew that an unknown girl remembers what he wore 10 years ago. But he's still cute. Not as cute as in high school though.
Is it just me or is this post really boring? Yeah, it is. I'm sorry. It's cuz I didn't drink.

EDIT: (I'm thinking I'll be editing this post forever, lol) I forgot to say this: I didn't tell my Mom I went alone, just left her a note saying I'm out and would be back till 4am (BTW, I came home at 2am) and she thought I left with Sonja. Then today I told her I went out with a completely unknown guy I met online. Then she heard I came home with two unknown guys. I'm pretty sure she's in her room, still shaking her head at my recklessness...

Wednesday 16 May 2007

Going Out... NOT

Why, you might wonder. Well, Sonja bailed on me. Again. She has classes in the morning apparently. And I don't drive. So there. I will not be meeting new people. Back to my good old rut.
Maja and Anja, sorry you picked clothes for me in vain.

Tuesday 15 May 2007

Reality Report

As usual, "Reality Report" means that I wrote what is about to follow earlier, in the class. Unfortunately, if I can write blog posts in the class also means that the class is extremely boring. Consider yourself warned.

It is 8.13pm and I am in the most boring class in the history of classes. You should see the expressions on the faces of my fellow sufferers. Actually, expressions is probably the wrong word. They are blank. Apathetic. They show no emotion whatsoever. Quite a few show no signs of life either. If you are wondering why we took that class in the first place, let me tell you that even though this is supposedly an elective course, we had no choice but to, in fact, take it. So here we are, dying a slow, painful death every Tuesday night from 7.15pm till 8.45pm. That's right, PM. I call it a graveyard shift. Thank God next week at this time I'll be at the theatre.
About going out tomorrow (I know you are dying to get the newest update - when someone so anti-social as me decides to leave the comfort of own room and sets out to meet a very heterogeneous, eclectic even, group of people, believe me, IT IS a big deal!), what I wanted to share was that I have met a girl from R+ forum. She came to us to talk to a girl from my study group and I just said I'm Kristina. and she said Oh, you're Kris. Well, I've seen you around. If it sounds like a completely irrelevant event, it's because it was.

And that concludes this week's Reality Report.
Now, about that going out... (I'm starting to annoy you, aren't I?) Maja and Anja are more excited about it than me. They are actually picking my clothes for me. I kid you not. I'm never gonna get married, but if by some screwed chains of events I end up tying a knot, I'll have those two as my bridesmaids. Seriously. I can picture them in their puffy pink dresses, bouncing around, squeeing, clapping their hands... Yep, totally them! (I'm expecting some angry comments from them now because of the dresses. Well, it's my fucking imaginary wedding! Deal with it!)

Monday 14 May 2007

Monday Blabber

Let me paint you a little picture: A classroom. About 20 people sitting around their desks. The professor sitting at her desk. Me - on the floor on all four in front of all of them. Crawling.Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Let's leave it at that.
We're going to see a play, Maja and me, on May 22. It's called SHAKEspeare na EXit. Which is almost Croatian. lol EXIT is the name of the theatre. Anyhow, it's a play that has summed up all of the 37 Shakespeare's plays into one. And there are only 3 actors performing it. And the money from the tickets is going to charity. Which I don't really care about. I just wanna have a good time and I hope it'll be funny. Yeah, I'm selfish like that.
I had that Words and Culture presentation today. I volunteered to go first. I just wanted to get rid of that. I was so nervous... The words that were coming out of my mouth... Horrible. They actually laughed at me at one point for being so tense and forgetting the word. I just said "Don't laugh. I'm nervous." and the professor told me not to be. Then, when I was done, she said it was "nicely done" or something like that and that she liked how I was connecting the parts of it by using "this leads us to" and "to conclude" and "to wrap this up" instead of just memorising the data and just running through it. And then, if you think my crap was boring *coughJuliecough*, you should've heard the presentation that two girls had after me. Honestly, I don't think even the professor was listening to them. No one else sure as hell didn't.
And I got a B on Language Practice partial. No crawling was required.

Sunday 13 May 2007

Words and Culture

This I am posting just to illustrate the boring shit I was fucking with this entire afternoon. I don't expect it to be read by anyone.

Words and Culture


1. Introduction

There is a relationship between the language a person speaks and the way a person experiences the world. Not only does the world influence the language but language plays a great role in forming a person's view of the world. In languages spoken in different parts of the world, different parts of vocabulary are more or less developed, depending on the importance of the thing that is being described or talked about in that particular society. The most famous example would be the number of words that Eskimos have for snow.


2. Whorf's Theory

There is a claim that the language structure influences the way its speaker views the world. The opposite would be that the culture of people reflects in the language they speak. It does not say that the culture determines the entire structure of the language but that it determines certain bits of it and makes them the way they are.

A linguist and a student of Edward Sapir, Benjamin Lee Worf, said that «we cut nature up, organize it into concepts, and ascribe significances as we do, largely because we are parties to an agreement (…) that holds throughout our speech community and is codified in the patterns of our language» (Wardhaugh, p221).

It means that a speaker of one language would perceive the world differently than a speaker of another language. Also, if a language have words to describe certain things and another language does not, then the speakers of the first language will be able to talk about those thing much easier than the speakers of the second language. It does not meant that the speakers of the second language will not be able to talk about them at all; it only means that they will have to use more words and «beat around the bush» more, so to say.

Another important way of language influencing people's views of the world is through grammar. Grammatical categories such as gender, number and time differ from language to language and not only do they help a speaker to perceive the world but also limit such perception. Worf compared the category of time in SAE (Standard Average European), languages that share many structural features, such as German, French, English, and Hopi, one of the languages of Native Americans. He concluded that in SAE events occur, have occurred, or will occur, in a definite time; in Hopi an event can be warranted to occur, or to be occurring, or to be expected to occur. Unlike the speakers of SAE, who perceive time as fixed segments such as minutes, hours and says, speakers of Hopi perceive the world as an ongoing set of processes. Naturally, it reflects in the languages they speak.

Grammatical category of number is important in SAE and various words must be in singular or plural in these languages. However, in Chinese number is expressed only if it is somehow relevant.

Even though some things are easier to describe in some languages than in some other ones, it does not mean that it would be impossible to describe certain things in the latter ones. In most cases, speakers are usually ready to use circumlocution, to use as much words as necessary to say something.


3. Kinship

Kinship is important in every social organisation and therefore kinship systems are a universal feature of languages. The important factors of the kinship system organisation are gender, age, blood, generation, and marriage. Whether a certain kin relationship has a term or is described by using circumlocution also shows the importance of that particular relationship in that society because the most important objects and relationships are usually expressed by a single word rather than through phrases.

Social changes can also influence the changes in a kinship system. One of the example of these changes would be the Russian language. There used to be terms referring to your brother's wife (nevestka) and your wife's brother (shurin) are out of the use today and there are circumlocutions zhena brata and brat zheny instead. That happened because the family structure has changed. These kins are no longer in the daily contact and there is no need to refer to them constantly.


4. Taxonomies

A folk taxonomy is the way in which people classify the parts of their reality such as flora and fauna of their environment or any other phenomena relevant to their society. The analyses of taxonomies show how speakers of a certain language use it to organize the world around them.

For instance, the Subanun of mindanao in the southern Phillippines use numerous terms to describe disease, especially skin diseases. They have categories that allow them to discuss the sets of symptoms at various levels of generality. They use nuka for «eruption» that they further divide into beldut,»sore», meŋabag, «inflammation», or buni, «ringworm». Then they further distinguish types of beldut and so on. This is because skin diseases are of such importance for their society and they need to organise them systematically to be able to understand them.


5. Colour

Colour is not treated everywhere in the same way. In some societies it plays a more important role than in some other ones. However, there are some basic colour terms in every language. Primarily there are black and white (or dark and light). The third element added is red, followed by yellow and green, then blue and brown. Basic colour terms also include grey, pink, orange, and purple added in no particular order. These eleven colours are basically the most important colours and they all have their terms in the languages of the technologically developed societies. Some less developed societies have fewer terms for colours, such as the Tiv of Nigeria that have three or the Burmese that have seven.

It is also important to notice that speakers of any language find it easier to point out the part of spectrum that they find to be typically orange, typically blue or typically red than to draw the line that would separate yellow from orange or blue from green. This shows that they have some uniform ideas of «typical» colour just as they have about other thing which leads us to the idea of prototypes.


6. Prototypes

There is a claim saying that people perceive certain concepts by connecting them to the prototypes of those concepts rather than to the sets of their features. That means that when a person thinks of a bird, he does not think of characteristics such as wings, eggs laying and warm-bloodness but rather of a «prototypical bird» such as a sparrow or a robin. This also applies to other concepts such as furniture with a chair being typical unlike an ashtray, or to fruit where apple is typical representative of the group and coconut is not.

It is easier for people to learn new things by connecting them to a certain prototype than to a number of characteristics especially because not only would they have to know what features that certain concept have but also what features it does not have.


7. Taboos and Euphemisms

Language is used not only to express things but also to avoid expressing them. Things that are never talked about are called taboos. Some other things are talked about only in a very roundabout way by using euphemisms.

Taboos can relate to sex, death, excretion, religion, politics and often talking about these subjects in a certain society can cause anxiety or embarrassment. The members of the society know what the taboos are and usually do not talk of them. Then they use euphemisms. For instance, in the Kaban language of Papua New Guinea people are often named after objects used in everyday life. What causes problems is the fact that one should never say the words that their in-laws are named after. There are two solutions to this problem: they either use a different word from Kabana with a different meaning or they use a word from some neighbouring language with the same meaning as the word they are trying to avoid.

Sometimes people who are bilingual have difficulties saying some words from the second language because they can cause embarrassment. That is often the case with names from one culture transferred to another such as Vietnamese name Phuc in an anglophone group.

Euphemisms help people to talk about unpleasant or embarrassing things and that is the socially acceptable way of discussing them. We may know certain words but we we would still never use them. Taboos differ from society to society but are nevertheless their universal characteristic causing that no social group uses language completely uninhibitedly.


8. Conclusion

Language influences the way people perceive the world around them. It helps them define and explain certain concepts but it is not a one-way process. Society has agreat influence on its language as well. For instance, things that are of great importance in a particular society will be easier to describe because the vocabulary necessary for describing them will be more developed. It does not that a certain language is incapable of talking about things that are not as important; it only means that it would take greater effort to describe them, at least until the new words enter the vocabulary. On the other hand, words that are rarely or never used in a certain language, due to social changes or social taboos, are likely to disappear from language altogether. That is just another way of society effecting language.

Meet People? Not Meet People? 2

The other day I was chatting to a guy from R+ Forum on msn and he keeps asking me to come to Old Bridge Pub with them (that's another guy, not the Model Boy) and I'm trying to be vague like Maybe. and We'll see. and so on until I piss him off with it and he says he's done talking me into it and I'm like Pfewww. It's not that I think I'm better than them (as he suggested), it's just that I'm antisocial (no shit!) and meeting a bunch of unknown people I only met online seems frightening. And I know that about two weeks ago I said something like I would come this week but honestly, I didn't think they would take it so seriously. Anyhow... I just got an e-mail from another guy from that forum asking me to get in touch with him because the other ones apparently made him the ambassador or something of persuading me into going out with them. Oh yeah, that guy is from my village although I have no idea who he is. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna go. First of all, I'm broke, and second, I'm boring. I'm not into the whole going out thing. I don't know why they are trying so hard to get me there. It's like they're on a mission or something. It's really weird and somewhat unsettling. Then again, maybe they're just very curious about what am I trying to hide so hard. Maybe I weigh 250 pounds or have hair all over my face or 6 fingers on each hand. And foot.
I am going to do stupid Sociolinguistics presentation now. It's so boring. The subject I chose seemed interesting, Words and Culture, but it's not. I'll probably post it once it's finished so you'll see for yourself. I so don't feel like doing it.
It's gonna be rally hot tomorrow, up to 30°C (86°F apparently. And is that even how it's written?) and I already figured what I am going to wear. My God, I'm such a girl. Somebody shoot me. But it's really to hot for this time of the year. I don't mind though. Gimme heat and sunshine any day.

OK, so I just talked to Sonja and I asked to come to Old Bridge Pub on Wednesday so I wouldn't go alone and she said she would unless her schedule at Med School changes. Well, now I'm a bit excited about going. If we in fact go.

Saturday 12 May 2007

Sucidal, Anyone?

Listen to this: I have a presentation in Introduction to Sociolinguistics on Monday and only yesterday I found out that I was supposed to go to see the professor last week to discuss it. Maja had no idea either. Really odd since we haven't missed any class. When did she say that and to whom... I do not know. Then Maja asked her if we could send the concept by e-mail and she said we could, although I can't see what the use is since there's no time to fix anything. Ah, the joys of studying in Croatia... Trust me, this is just one example and not even remotely the worst one. Well whatever. I don't really care about the grade I get, I just wanna get it over with. I got a C on a partial in that boring subject that I had to take basically against my will so fuck it. Actually, a lot of people failed so a C was quite good. Especially considering the fact that I didn't understand half of the questions. It was like WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN??! on 8 out of 10 questions. Oh well...
So tonight is the Eurosong finals. Croatia didn't make it to the finals so I'm not sure if I'm gonna watch it. Maybe for the laughs. DJ Bobo didn't make it either. LMAO Poor guy. He should've stayed under whatever rock he's been hiding since '96. I don't understand why can't certain people realise that their time has passed. I mean, if one was a European dance star in the 90s, then he/she most certainly shouldn't try to have his/her comeback in 2007. But maybe that's just me.
I was watching Everwood today. (Yeah, I watch it. Is that a surprise? Don't you people know me by now? Name the worst crap there is on TV and I'll most likely be its biggest if not the only fan.) Anyway... That Reid character tried to kill himself but they saved him blah blah blah and it got me to thinking how people always take someone's suicide so personally. Like when I was considering it and once tried it (unsuccessfully, obviously) it was all about how they would miss me and how they would feel and stuff like that. Well, what about how I felt? Do people really think that what goes through one's head when he's about to kill himself is what that would do to other people? Sometimes all you can think about is getting out, ending it, making it stop. Making what stop? Everything. Honestly, I didn't think all that much about the people I was gonna leave behind (and it was a small number of people, much as it would be today). If anything, I thought I would make their lives easier. Seriously. When I was feeling depressed and unable to deal with life, I thought I would release everyone of the burden if I simply ceased to exist. So it's not like one is being selfish when committing suicide - often it is just the opposite.
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Friday 11 May 2007

TGIF? Not So Much


My sister and her bf ~~~~~~~~> took me shopping today. Well, I wasn't actually buying anything, I was in the city and they picked me up at Uni and took me with them. I got a huge ice cream out of it. Anyway, she was looking for some shoes but couldn't find what she had in mind. She then almost bought a scooter instead. Yeah, I know. What a substitute.
We ran into Anja on the main square and I introduced them. I think my sis had a soft spot for Anja in advance because I told her that Anja said she thought my sis was pretty. Well, she is.

Anyway...
Walking around the bridges in burning sun - check
Exam in Morphosyntax written - check
Passing exam in Sociolinguistics - check
Headache - check
Bored - check
Hearing she is supposed to do some extra work on her Sociolinguistic presentation - check
Headache getting worse - check

Thursday 10 May 2007

Thursday Blabber

What can I say about this day? Not much.
I wore the boob-enlarging top. And I was in the HT class and as each of us had to correct a sentence on the board, so did I. And while I was standing there, Anja (who apparently finally decided to do me the honour of visiting this little kingdom of mine and has enjoyed tremendously seeing her name being dragged over the Internet) gives me this weird look and raises her eyebrow (I'm pretty sure she even winked at me) and we start laughing so HT, who had his back turned to us, turns around and asks us what was so funny. And I say it was nothing but can you imagine how it looked? He must have thought we were laughing at him. Or possibly checking his behind.
Note to Anja: initiating a discussion of my boobs is one thing; making LT think I was checking him out is something completely different. And much more appreciated! *wink wink*
We had a partial exam today. Here's a question: will I ever find myself in the situation that might require me to use this sentence: We needn't have worried that much. ??! I don't think so.

Tonight is the Eurosong semi-final. *waits patiently till everyone has stopped laughing* *realises that she might as well continue since they don't seem like stopping any time soon* Ok, so you think I'm a sad excuse for an intelligent organism. But you see, when HRT (national television) offers some kind of humour in its program, you better grab the opportunity to laugh! And where else could one see such a wonderful bunch of wanna-bes in hideous outfits, with ridiculous choreographies and above all, where could one hear the absolutely worst collection of songs in one place? Well, except in my mp3, obviously... So yeah, I'm gonna watch it and I'm gonna laugh and I'm gonna be extremely grateful that the songs last only 3 minutes each. Apart from the worst one that will inevitably get stuck in my brain for the next week or, if I'm really unlucky, even longer than that.
And it will probably repeat itself all the way around the fucking bridges tomorrow... Oh yeah, it Fucked-Up Friday again.

Note To Self

Must. Stop. Uncontrollably. Comment. On. People's. Blogs.
One would think that the cbox causing incident at WFW's had taught me something...

I'm hoping it'll be a warm day tomorrow. I have this new top that makes my boobs look really really big and it's been sitting in my closet for about 10 days now and I simply must wear it. And it's only slightly see-through. But it's not slutty. Honestly, it isn't. And the fact that it's LT day tomorrow is a pure coincidence.
I have another partial tomorrow. Let's see how that'll go. I did some studying. I'll do more tomorrow at Uni. And then there's another on on Friday. Boy, it's a busy week. I could use some crossed fingers.
I finished the book. There was a sentence,a perfectly innocent one, that has launched me into the orbit of horny in a nanosecond. Is that TMI? Don't worry, I'm not gonna let you in on the details of... Y'know what? I'm not even gonna finish that sentence.

God, I am so confused about myself that I cannot even decide on a fucking picture I want for my profile. Why can't I just grow up and finally find out who the fuck I am and what I want? I'm too old for this shit.

Wednesday 9 May 2007

Wednesday Blabber


I walked around the city with the earphones in my ears even though the battery in the mp3 was dead. I was just too lazy to put it away.
On a scale from 1 to 10, how bad does one ruin a diet with a McDonald's Chocolate Shake? Somewhere around 18, right?
We were supposed to hand in a paper on RP today and I was out of black toner so I printed it out in green. I figured I'll just copy it and it'll be black and it'll be fine. I didn't, however, count on a fucked up photocopy. So I handed in the green one. I'm sure it'll be OK.
This morning I got up and my sis was still asleep. So I went to the living room and watched "Ed". Then I got a text message. From my sister in the next room. That's the only sister I have. Just to be clear, ours is a very small house: two bedrooms, a kitchen slash living room, a bathroom; all on the same floor, of course. There was absolutely no need for her to text me, a holler would do just fine. But OK. We embrace each other's weirdness. So I got there wondering what the hell is going on that she had to use her cell to reach me and she says: "Make me some coffee." See, for a moment there I forgot I actually live in You Rang, M'Lord?.

I ran into a girl from my high school class. She's defending her thesis tomorrow. Every one of my peers is getting a diploma these days. Every one but me, that is. God, I'm such a loser.

Tuesday 8 May 2007

Grey's Anatomy


picture source
Fuck. It.
There. I mean, I knew Denny would die. But still I cried my eyes out. And I wasn't even that much into that show. Now that it's over (in Croatia, that is), I want more.
Y'know, I liked Alex all this time, while he was a jerk, while he was with Izzie, while he was a jerk again and no one but me took his side (see, Maja and sister dearest, he was just hurting) and all I have to say now is In. Your. Face. Of course, it could be just me having a soft spot for jerks...
I loved the way he took Izzie in his arms and offered her his shoulder to cry on. But I loved even more how he and George followed her down the stairs as she was walking out. There was just something about that scene...
Meredith, on the other hand... Well actually, I don't even blame her that much for having sex with Derek. She never hid the fact that she loves him, but Derek... HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A FUCKING HERO! And if a hero is married, hell, if he chose his wife above Meredith, then he should not cheat on her. God knows I love Patrick Dempsey but I'm starting to dislike this character.
And why am I getting so worked up over a TV show?!
Oh yeah... Cuz I have no life of my own.

Currently reading: Karen McCullah Lutz, The Bachelorette Party (Yes, it's chick-lit again! *getting slightly defensive*)

Completely Wrong

... and yet somehow I knew it was gonna happen.
You know I wrote this essay where I tried to passionately express my feelings and believes regarding marriage. I got a B on it. Then I had to write another essay from the opposite aspect. (Bel, thanks again for giving me the arguments.) It caused me physical pain to write it but I did it. And then it turned out that one was better than the first one and I got an A.
That's just wrong. Utterly wrong.

Monday 7 May 2007

Monday Blabber




Monday Bloody Monday!
Well OK, not really. I woke up, washed my hair, went to the Uni. Do I have your full attention already? I didn't think so. Anyway... Remember that partial exam I took, finished it in 15 minutes and left the room? It could have meant only two things: 1) I did it really really well or 2) I messed it up royally. Go on, guess! 97%!!! Can I get a YAAAY?! How about a group hug? I'm pushing it, aren't I? To be quite honest, it was pure English language, idioms, and it would've been really really sad had I not written it well. Oh yeah, just to annoy her again with pointing it out: Maja was the only one with 100%!
We had Language Practice class today and the Professor came up with a game for us. She put some small objects we use in everyday life into bags and we had to feel them and guess what they are. Anyway, first she showed us a staple and asked if we felt it in the bag, how would we know it was a staple. And I said: "Well, it walks like a staple... it talks like a staple..."
I had a partial in Introduction to Sociolinguistics. Do you know that Latin proverb Repetitio est mater studiorum? Well, improvisation better work for me, cuz I ain't repeating all that much!
Sister had a job interview today and she made an excellent impression on the doctor who was interviewing her. Too bad it takes a lot more than a good impression to get a job in Croatia. *coughconnectionscough* I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for her. (What's up with all this sister-love? I'm freaking myself out!)
We have two more exams this week. We've heard of one today. Just saying. Reported speech, modal and phrasal verbs... Piece of cake... NOT. Stupid end of the semester.
I'm reading this book by Toby Young, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. But the thing is, I'm not supposed to be reading it - I should have WRITTEN it! LMAO Actually, it said on the back cover it's a book of a "male Bridget Jones". Uhm... It's not. I'll tell you who was more of a "male Bridget Jones" to me: try any novel by Mike Gayle.
So are we talking books now? Yaay, if I may add. Wanna know who I also love love love? (Oh yeah, there's no middle with me: love 'em or hate 'em.) I love Tony Parsons. Y'know, Man and Wife, Man and Boy, One For My Baby... Funny thing how I discovered him. Not funny ha-ha. Anyway... I really love the song. Which song? Well "One For My Baby", DUH! So I'm at the library and there's this book on the shelf (I read books from library, y'know I can't afford to BUY books - once again, Thank You so Much, Nic!) and I see the title saying Za moju dragu. Now, the exact translation of that would be For My Darling. The exact translation of the song title would be Jedna za moju malu. Still, that title sounds oddly familiar so I grab the book and check the original title and it's exactly what I expected it to be, One For My Baby. And I take the book, and read it without putting it down and I'm in love with Tony Parsons. I don't know if you do that, but when I read a book I like a lot, I try to find everything else I can that the author wrote. So I found Man and Boy and if you haven't read it, please, read it. It's really really really good. I cried. Read it.
And just to say Thank You, Darth and Jenny, for thinking I'm worth linking.

currently reading: Toby Young, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

What Age Do I Act?

What a surprise.

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Sunday 6 May 2007

Bored Blabber


Aaah, back to my usual nonsense writing. Yeah, nothing to say.
It's gonna be a long day tomorrow. I'm not sure when I'll be coming home, 8, 9, 10... I have a partial exam in Sociolinguistics. I studied. Kinda. I should be doing more tomorrow during the day. God bless library and free hours in between classes.
I was over at friend's earlier. What is it about chocolate that I cannot resist? I don't buy it since I'm trying to lose weight. And I don't think about it and I almost don't miss it. But I go there and it's on the table (and we're talking Milka with nougat filling and whole hazelnuts) and without even realizing what I am doing, I'm eating it. My anti-starch pills won't help me neutralize sugar and fat from chocolate. But then again, what kind of a life is this if I cannot eat something that good? And how on Earth did I become this girl? Me, who used to swear she'd never diet in her life?! I don't like growing-up, I don't like it one bit.

Y'know, I kinda rooted for that woman to win the French elections. What? Yeah, I know it has nothing to do with anything.

Looking Back


As I was reading all those different blogs lately (my favourites are on the left if you wanna check them out), I read about these people's days in high school. They were punks, and dorks, and trying to be who they weren't, and everything else in between. It got me thinking about me in high school.
Well... I hated it. From the bottom of my heart. With the fire of a thousand suns. I. Hated. It. I wasn't the popular girl. I wasn't the unpopular girl. I wasn't the smartest kid in the class (with the exception of English). I wasn't the dumbest kid in the class. I wasn't ANYTHING. I was invisible. And I was often depressed. And I didn't want to study. Ever. (I was just recently with a friend from high school and she told me how shocked she was when I was going through a phase of complete not-studying. She said it was unfathomable to her; how could someone NOT STUDY at all? I don't know, it seemed normal to me.)
I had no style. Well, I was a teenager, I know, but there were these girls having their hair done and their clothes always matched and their make-up was perfect... You know the type. I... I wore only black through 3rd and 4th grade, I think. Oh I wasn't goth or anything. I listened to boy-bands. I was just weird like that. People would tell me I should be listening to Metallica or some other "intelligent" band since my English was so good. I suppose they thought it was being wasted on lyrics like
Everybody, yeah/Rock your body, yeah/Everybody, yeah/Rock your body right/Backstreet's back, alright. Maybe they were right but I just like pop-music. (Yeah,present tense is intentional.) And Hornby is right when he (or John Cusack in the movie) says: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?
I was going somewhere with this... Oh yeah. The thing, not much has changed. I still listen to the music that makes me miserable, still have no style whatsoever, still don't feel like studying most of the time and I'm still average in everything I do.
I'm still waiting for my life to sort out.
This Ugly Duckling is still waiting for her Hollywood ending.

Drought


So... sex. I hear it's good. I wouldn't know though. Actually, it seems to me I vaguely recall something happening in that area a long time ago but I could have been dreaming. I am definitely a virgin again.
Just thought I'd share.

Saturday 5 May 2007

Saturday Blabber


It's Saturday night and I'm home. Of course. A friend called to ask me to come over and I was like: "Nah, I'm gonna watch Shrek." (she hates cartoons, lol) So I stay home and then realize that Shrek is FUCKING DUBBED! I hate that shit. I mean, 80% of the fun in Shrek is that silly Donkey. If I can't hear the original voice, then it just sucks. So it's surfing or "Singing With Stars". Tough one, huh?
Sister is sleeping over at bf's. Thank God, I have the room for myself. I bet you're thinking about the previous post. Well, sibling love is one thing. My need to be alone is something completely different. (Garbo much?)
I'm listening to R+, Top 20. Funny thing: I haven't heard one song I know so far. LMAO
I tried watching "Apocalypto" today. When I say "tried", I mean I shoved the DVD into the player, watched for 2 minutes some guy running through the woods trying to catch a bore or something, decided I can't watch that and watched 3 epis of PB S1 instead. Isn't that a surprise? But I'm still gonna go: watching "Apocalypto" - check.
Oh, I just recognized Natasha Bedingfield on the R+. What does that say about me? Wait... Don't answer that.

Sisterhood


I finished "In Her Shoes". I don't understand how grown people can hate their siblings. Yes, I know it's just a book but even chick-lit can make you think.
I have a baby sister. We fought a lot while growing up. I was going through a really bad case of puberty when she was 10 or 11 and I ignored her and she was annoying and she was asking millions of questions I didn't feel like answering. Then we were both in our teens and she was in the same places as me and I felt like she was stealing my friends (she was the sweet one, the friendly one and my God, of course she was the beautiful one) and it didn't feel good, didn't feel good at all.
But then we grew up. Yes, we fight still but in a different way. She's my sister, y'know? She knows me. She knows me better than anyone. Seriously. I think she knows me better than my mother and she sure as hell knows me better than me. She knows when I'm about to mess up and she knows exactly how it will happen. And we fight. But the best part is that I know, I KNOW, that at the end of the day, we'll get over it. I don't think we've ever gone for longer than one day without talking to each other. Of course, mostly it's because Mom never let us go on sulking. But I'm grateful for that. When I hear about siblings suing each other over a house or something... That will never happen to us.
No matter what happens, when she gets her paycheck, she gives me money. And when we're both in bed an she's thirsty, I get up and get her a glass of water. Some day there'll be no one but me and her. And I know I am blessed.