... is a total bitch. Yeah. So I changed the settings of the blog and made it invitation-only. I hate it but I don't like the idea of her reading this because, believe it or not, she actually threatens me with telling on me! Can you believe it? I swear, I'm not making this shit up. She didn't say anything specific but she scares the shit out of me.
If my mother hears about me drinking, or heaven forbid, sleeping with strangers (when I say "strangers", I mean someone who is not my official boyfriend), my life will turn into hell.
I know it's hard to believe, because I'm 25 and supposedly a grown up, but there you go. My 23-year-old sister tells on me and my mother doesn't allow me to have a private life.
And now you have another piece of the puzzle.
Apparently, my sister has a problem with me spending so much time on the computer. Well, here's how it is: she has a job and a boyfriend; I have Uni and computer. I can honestly say that their stories about old people (mom and her both work in a nursing home), that they think are very interesting, do not amuse me. I don't like old people. It's a horrible thing to say, I know, but it's the truth. They gross me out and they're not funny and they are annoying and besides, all of those old people there are there to die. I don't care about them. I've never met them and never will so why should I be interested into what they said or did??! And you know what else? My family is not interested in anything I wanna say. I have a new circle of people around me now, both at Uni and online (if I can say that) and stuff that is interesting to me, means nothing to my family. When I got home after seeing that play, all excited and happy, they didn't care. They didn't understand.
My sister and I... We are very different. She had one long lasting relationship before this one; I would get drunk and sleep with... well, anyone. She would tell that to my mother and now mom thinks that every time I go out, I'd get drunk and sleep around. That has led to me not going out at all because I could see what she's thinking the next day. Not to mention that she would be up most of the times when I would come home just to see if I was sober. And I'm pretty sure she would examine my clothes for stains. She simply can't understand that I don't want to be in a relationship, that maybe my views of the world are not the same as hers. And of course, she has a powerful ally in my sister, and since the two of them are right, I must be wrong. Imagine living that way.
And it was always that way. I never cared for my sister's life, I didn't care who she's with or where she is or what she's doing. She, on the other hand, simply had to know all of that about me. Probably because she needed the information to blackmail me. Stupid me though that would stop when she grows up but she's 23 now. 23!! And it hasn't stopped.
So if my mom hears about me wanting to have sex with a guy I met once... hell is about to ensue. And I mean, a psychological hell because there'll be those looks, and silences, and eventually the talk where she'll try to explain to me why is my behaviour wrong. And I'll be hearing them talking about me when they think I can't hear them and then I'll be feeling guilty of something I shouldn't be feeling guilty of.
And I'm sorry for this post being so long and so mixed up and I know it's hard for you to follow but I'm just really upset right now and I had to let it out.
If my mother hears about me drinking, or heaven forbid, sleeping with strangers (when I say "strangers", I mean someone who is not my official boyfriend), my life will turn into hell.
I know it's hard to believe, because I'm 25 and supposedly a grown up, but there you go. My 23-year-old sister tells on me and my mother doesn't allow me to have a private life.
And now you have another piece of the puzzle.
Apparently, my sister has a problem with me spending so much time on the computer. Well, here's how it is: she has a job and a boyfriend; I have Uni and computer. I can honestly say that their stories about old people (mom and her both work in a nursing home), that they think are very interesting, do not amuse me. I don't like old people. It's a horrible thing to say, I know, but it's the truth. They gross me out and they're not funny and they are annoying and besides, all of those old people there are there to die. I don't care about them. I've never met them and never will so why should I be interested into what they said or did??! And you know what else? My family is not interested in anything I wanna say. I have a new circle of people around me now, both at Uni and online (if I can say that) and stuff that is interesting to me, means nothing to my family. When I got home after seeing that play, all excited and happy, they didn't care. They didn't understand.
My sister and I... We are very different. She had one long lasting relationship before this one; I would get drunk and sleep with... well, anyone. She would tell that to my mother and now mom thinks that every time I go out, I'd get drunk and sleep around. That has led to me not going out at all because I could see what she's thinking the next day. Not to mention that she would be up most of the times when I would come home just to see if I was sober. And I'm pretty sure she would examine my clothes for stains. She simply can't understand that I don't want to be in a relationship, that maybe my views of the world are not the same as hers. And of course, she has a powerful ally in my sister, and since the two of them are right, I must be wrong. Imagine living that way.
And it was always that way. I never cared for my sister's life, I didn't care who she's with or where she is or what she's doing. She, on the other hand, simply had to know all of that about me. Probably because she needed the information to blackmail me. Stupid me though that would stop when she grows up but she's 23 now. 23!! And it hasn't stopped.
So if my mom hears about me wanting to have sex with a guy I met once... hell is about to ensue. And I mean, a psychological hell because there'll be those looks, and silences, and eventually the talk where she'll try to explain to me why is my behaviour wrong. And I'll be hearing them talking about me when they think I can't hear them and then I'll be feeling guilty of something I shouldn't be feeling guilty of.
And I'm sorry for this post being so long and so mixed up and I know it's hard for you to follow but I'm just really upset right now and I had to let it out.
9 spoke back:
Krissie, that really sucks bigtime! I can so feel the psychological terror of that... Good decision making this blog private. There's no sense in explaining yourself to people with such limited views of the world anyway. And be strong... a couple years from now you'll be living on your own. (Take it from me, it will require a lot of strength to keep people like that from meddling with your affairsn even if you live in your own house -- but it IS possible!)
Is there any way you could get government support to live by yourself while studying?
And as far as I'm concerned, I'm happy to belong to your new circle ;)
Bel
Thanks, Bel, I'm happy you're in it, too.
And no, there's no way for me to live on my own. It's almost impossible for single people to live on their own here even when they have a job because of the expenses, let alone for students. So no, I can't move out and I'm stuck.
Wow, living expenses that high? Well, I hope you will have found some reliable friends/roommates or a partner by the time you graduate, so you can get the hell outta there then!
Bel
well I think I have no words...except for: SIBLINGS!
sometimes you just wanna kill them.
I cannot comprehend why she would do this kind of thing, I mean, aren't sisters supposed to 'stick together'? Does she really believe that, as long as you don't have a serious BF, that you have to stay at home and behave like a nun? I'm glad you don't agree because you should live your life the way YOU want, not the way someone else expects you to...
I'm truly sorry it had to come to this. Maybe looking for a roommate once you get out of college would be the solution for you, or you could have a serious BF and move in with him :)
either way, this sucks.
I cannot comprehend why she would do this kind of thing
Me neither. It puzzles me over and over again.
She has no idea what "sticking together" means.
Good G-D in heaven I'm not the only one. Ok I know it's uber lame to cut in but I'm 25 too and my one entire side of my family still treats me like a 16 year old when it comes to relationships and goes so far as to try and punish me. AND I don't even LIVE with them.
We are 25 doesn't that mean SOMETHING??? Doesn't it mean that by now we are old enought to choose who and when we want to get it on with and smart enought to use a condom???? GGRRREAAALLAKKAAA.
Yes smart move indeed to go private.
OMG thought she's 23 and still tells on you???? Good heavens I'm sure she sleeps with her boyfriend and thier not MARRIED so that's just as much sin. Beotch. Tell her that she'll be farther into hell than you because she has more sex.
AALLKk yuk lame. Bitches.
*washing sheets and setting up spare room*
It's nice here in California...AND we have Universities...
oh niccie
i'm so drunk right now i could be buying a planbe ticketz..
I so understand....
My step-bro lives in the Netherlands, and we are the coolest when he's there and I'm here.
But you got us!
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