Chocolate-y

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are intense, powerful, and dramatic. People respect the things you do... And they're not sure if they could do them! You are down to earth and lovable. A true friend, you're very tolerant and understanding. In fact, your friends' biggest problem is that they don't like each other! You love to be the center of attention. You enjoy entertaining your friends. You feel lost when no one is interested in you... You're too interesting to be ignored.

The Chocolate Oracle

My Father's Daughter

So the other day when I got that A (it's not getting old any time soon), I say to my dad: I got an A on my exam.
And he says: Then it couldn't have been too difficult.

Yes, I am certainly my father's daughter.

What Is Your Battle Cry?

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Yea, verily: Who is that, running amidst the plains! It is KRISSIE, hands clutching a burning branch! She screams thunderously: "I'm going to fuck you with such wanton cruelty, you will wake up from the Matrix!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Running over the tundra, wielding a reflective halberd, cometh Kristina! And she gives a gutteral grunt: "I'm going to hump you so forcibly, you'll reincarnate as an X-file!!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Apparently, it's good I'm not having sex cuz I'd hurt people with it and make them wake up from TV shows and movies. Huh.

Random Thoughts

It's weird how I'm absolutely sure my sister knows me better than I know myself. Maybe not everything I do, but knows me inside out, everything I am.
And I... I don't know her at all.

~~~~~

I have this entire life on the Internet, right? Places I visit regularly, people from all over the world I talk to every single day. A circle of friends completely detached from anyone I know in RL. And it hits me often: if I suddenly died, they wouldn't know. Maybe they'd wonder for a few days, two or three of them for a few weeks even, but there'd be no way of knowing for them.

Gaaah!

I think I'm gonna throw up.
I can't fucking do this.
That is all.

ETA: It turned out, I COULD do that. I got an A! OMG! I'm ecstatic!

Sign Me! I'm So Pretty!

You know how people come to one's door trying to sell something? They talk really fast and make it sound really appealing and awesome and oh so cheap and shit? Sometimes it's kitchen knives or sheets or pots or books or some kind of a service... Sometimes people come to one's door and try to convince on to switch one's phone company.
Well.
Sometimes "one" is my mother.
I don't generally consider my mother to be stupid. In fact, she's rather smart and doesn't often fall for crap people serve her. Usually. Today however...
Today my mother almost deprived me of my INTERNET. And you all know that when it comes to me, Internet = life. So.
Two women rang our doorbell and my mother went out. Before I continue, you should know that we usually get rid of these people trying to sell us stuff like IMMEDIATELY. So when my mother walked in about 5 minutes later holding a SIGNED CONTRACT in her hand and looking kinda proud, the alarm in my head went off. And boy, was my head alarm right!
She switched phone companies. To get cheaper prices. OK, that sounds reasonable, one might think. Yeah, it does.
Unless one's (one = ME!) Internet isn't connected to a certain phone company. That one's (again, one = ME!) mother just decided to switch from.
THOU SHALL NOT DEPRIVE ME OF MY INTERNET! EVER!
What have you done?, I asked in a strange voice.
They said it would make our phone bill smaller, she said.
Uh-huh, I nodded. And what about the Internet?
Uh... There was a dawning on her face followed by a look of horror.
So I got on the phone, called Sonja, who called her friend who works at our apparently-soon-to-be-ex phone company, who informed her that if we were indeed to switch companies, they would disconnect me.
THOU SHALL NOT DEPRIVE ME OF MY INTERNET! EVER!
So tomorrow my mother is going to go and break that contract. It'll cost her though. Not an absurd amount of money but still.
You hear of people being scammed. Old people. Illiterate people. Extremely stupid people.
Well allow me to introduce you to my mother. Hey, everyone, this is my mother! She's the woman who came in with a signed contract about which she said this: Oh I don't really know what it says. I didn't have my glasses with me when I signed it so I couldn't read it.
Trust me, I wish I made this up.

Sometimes

Sometimes a girl just can't not watch a horrible sappy movie. Sometimes a girl gets reminded of the first few days of falling in love. Sometimes she misses those first few days. Sometimes she wishes there was someone she couldn't keep her hands off.
Sometimes a girl needs a huge batch of pancakes with vanilla sugar and apricot jam. And maybe some incestuous love stories with an edge.
Sometimes, it's all it takes to make the world right again.

I'm... I Was Just Bored, OK?

Which Website are You?

Which File Extension are You?

Family Business

I've spent some quality time bonding with my Dad today. How? Over music. My Dad was the kind of a teenager who spent his days in his room with his gramophone and LP's listening and listening and listening to the cool music of the time, Pink Floyd and The Who and Animals and Jimi Hendrix and Nazareth etc. So I d/led tons of that music and then we listened to it and he got into explaining the riffs and solos and "entrances" and what not, and drumming on the air drums to the rhythm... He was so cute! If that's a normal thing to say about one's 50yr old Dad. lol And now I have to tape it to CASSETTES so he can listen to it in his car. Of course he has a cassette player! We're poor, remember? lol

In other news, my sister finally got a kick-ass job! She's leaving the nursery home and moving on to a private diagnostic polyclinic where she will take the patients to different doctors and keep the records and be a lady nurse. For a pay that is almost twice as big as she used to get! We're all psyched about it!
And my Mom asked me if I was jealous! WTF?! NO! Why would I be jealous of my own sister's happiness?! It's because I said everything goes right when it comes to her, unlike me. And it doesn't mean I'm jealous, it just means I wish I had my life all sorted out like she does. And I'm happy for her, dammit! Besides, more money for her means more money for me. Duh.

But Still

I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cuz
Everything's gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
You you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

You and me together
Through the days and nights

I don't worry cause
Everything's gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
You you
Can get in the way of what I feel

I know some people search the world
To find something like what we have
I know people will try
Try to divide
Something so real
So till the end of time
I'm telling you there is no one

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
Oh oh oh...

In This Life...

...there's real and make-believe. and this seems real to me.

and it's all wrong in too many ways. my happy place that crumbled down with mean. people that forget that others are people too. real. live. feeling. and this is not what i've signed up for. or maybe i skimmed over the fine print as i do because.

i can't be bothered. and i am. guts tied in a notch. nauseous. bitter. and broken. just a step away from giving it all up but.

some are still worth it. the ones i'd miss like i'd miss a limb. the ones that are my happy place. like they are each other's home in the stories. at least in the make-believe. and dreams that haunt me and do no good.

that's what you get for falling asleep to strangers' voices soothing you. making you feel every inch of your skin covered. tucked in. into sweet comfort at least during this night if not when sun comes again.

and again. breathe in. breathe out. breathe in. it never stops. never. stops. i didn't ask for this. it must have been in the fine print, i am sure now. i wasn't told i would make no sense, no purpose. and so i am this.

floating. hibernating. silently. except.

i'm screaming. on the inside where no one hears. and i muffle myself with the make-believe. until it all crumbles onto my head as it inevitably will. when reality hits.

what will i hold on to? fairy tales and make-believes don't make a world worthy living in. it's just that.

they do to me. it's easier to cry unreal tears. love unreal loves. feel unreal emotions. live unreal lives.

in this life there's real and make-believe. and this seems real to me.

so when they go and spit on it, and curse it, and tear it apart, there'll be nothing left for me. except for reality. that i don't want. that i didn't ask for. that i didn't sign up for. but it's not like there's choice with the real.

that's not going anywhere. that cannot be covered with the make-believe. even though that's exactly what i've been doing for too long.

it will have to stop. and i don't know how. i don't know how.

i'm screaming.

Bitch

I think we've established that my subconscious is a bitch. I never get the good dreams. Never. You know what I mean. Maybe making out once in a blue moon but that's about it.
So yesterday I saw this YT video to Darren Hayes's "Insatiable" made of various kissing scenes from TV shows and movies. I saw it once and haven't thought of it after. But apparently my subconscious decided to store it for future use. Future meaning last night. There were numerous scenes from "Gilmore Girls" in it and apparently the Bitch found those to be the most inspiring. So she sent me a guy from "Gilmore Girls". Now, "Gilmore Girls" had some pretty fucking nice guys to choose from. Let's observe, shall we?

Chad Michael Murray

Jared Padalecki

Milo "freakin' Peter Petrelli" Ventimiglia

And do I get any of those guys? Noooo. Bitch, remember? So who do I get? I get Matt "the Neckless Gnome" Czurchy.
I don't know about you but that's a huge NFF in my book. No. Fucking. Fair. I was NOT happy. But... beggars can't be choosers so I think to myself I might as well make the most of it. If life gives you lemons and all that but as the things start rolling MY MOTHER COMES INTO THE ROOM.
Seriously, Bitch, one of these days you and me are going to have a serious talk.