Cinderella

I hate my sister. No, I really really hate her. She is such a conceited little bitch and I can't take it anymore.
We went shoe shopping today. As you can imagine, it didn't go too well.
Every time Her Highness and her bf take me to the city, I'm supposed to walk behind them humbly and keep my mouth shut so I don't, heaven forbid, upset the princess with something I might say. Just don't spread the nervous, she often says. I am also supposed to be eternally grateful for the shown grace of taking me with them. I am the ugly, poor sister, she is the pretty, rich one. I should take crumbs and be happy.
So today we were going to all these shoe stores and I found my shoes rather quickly. She found boots she liked but they didn't have her size so she went to another place of theirs but the boots were still too big and she got upset. And when I say upset, I mean fucking pissed off. When she's in that state, she needs a scape goat. Guess who volunteered to be one merely by being there.
We entered another store and she's frowning to the shoes and I know she won't find anything cuz she has her mind set on the pair that was too big and as she's flipping a boot in her hands she goes: I know I won't find another ones I like. It's how I am. And I say: Then let's go home., and she says with poison in her tone: YOU go home. You go home by bus.
And I did.
Technically, I took the train but I did leave. I've had it. Every time they would graciously take me with them she'd threaten me with going home by bus. I hate how she makes me feel small and irrelevant, how she humiliates me.

Well guess what, bitch. Not no more. This was the last time I've let you make me feel like a Cinderella. I may not have money, I may not have a boyfriend, but at least I have my pride so you can go and piss on someone else from now on. Bitch. I hate you.

And Cinderella's got new shoes.

My Potential Mental Disorder

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: Manic Depressive You have extreme cycles of highs and lows. Sometimes you feel like you don't know who you are. One week you could be very hyper and happy and the next week you are slow and depressed.
Paranoia
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have?

I can't say this came as a surprise. It's not that I have it, it's just that I might have it. Or, to put it this way, if I had a mental disorder, this one would be it. (I'm not fooling anyone but myself, am I?)

I am bored out of my mind,yet I can't make myself read the other half of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Maybe cuz it's even more boring than doing absolutely nothing but listening to music and staring at the screen with no one to talk to.

Theatre Rant

I can't remember the last time I had a good experience at the theatre.Where does this come from, you might ask. Well, I was chatting to YKM a little while ago and the subject came up.
I don't know what is the matter with people today. No one seems to know how to shut the fuck up, sit back, and enjoy the film they paid to see. Where to start?
With 15yr olds. I hate 15yr olds. YKM is totally right. They come to the theatre to socialise, not to watch the film. They fucking chit-chat! Hey, fucktards, if you want to chit-chat, go to a park and sit on a bench and chit-chat your heart out. If you're watching the film, you're watching the film! Don't be throwing your popcorn at people either.
Then there are couples. Yes, I know, making out in the theatre is like obligatory or something. Fine. But can you then at least go sit in the back row so I don't have to watch your two faces sucking on one another in front of me? And if you're a new couple and have your entire life stories to share in the first week, dammit, people, share them outside! I do not care to hear about the death of your first dog while I'm trying to watch a goddamn film. Oh and that cute teasing you guys do out loud - NOT CUTE!
Cell phones in theatres suck monkey balls! If there's a call you mustn't miss, do not go see a film. If you can't stop texting for two hours in a day, do not go see a film. If the film you're watching is so bloody boring, get the fuck out. Don't check the time on your bloody cell all the fucking time - it just makes time go slower.
And if you're watching a film with me, you should know that I'm there to watch the film. I know, I can be such a weirdo sometimes. I do not care to hear the latest gossip during those two hours. I do not care about your day during those two hours. And for fucks sake, turn your goddamn cell phone off if you're at the theatre with me. I do not need your display light blinding me form the side every 15 minutes. Do comment on the film. Quietly. Not everyone needs to hear what we have to say. Let me cry if I feel like crying. Let me laugh out loud if I feel like laughing. And please, please, have some kind of a reaction to it once it's over. Discuss with me. Say something.
And then, tell me about your day and who made out with whom.

King's Window

I saw Secret Window today. It was all right. Johnny Depp was good as usual. Did he ever do a movie that sucked? I don't think so.
Anyway, you guessed it, I read that story before watching the movie. In fact, I read it quite some time ago. And it scared the shit out of me. It was one of those stories that I, for God knows what reason, read around midnight in my bed. I know King scares me. That's why I love him. When I was reading The Shining... Oh boy. To say that I was scared would be an understatement of the year. I was terrified. It so happened I was reading that at night in my bed as well. I was sleepy as hell. The problem was with turning the light off. I was supposed to get up out of my bed, walk across the room, turn the light off, and then walk back to my bed through the dark room. While in my head Johnny was still waving his axe at the poor kid with the little help of his dead friends. That wasn't gonna happen, not before I saw the evil beaten. So I kept reading, flinching at every sound. (I had cats sleeping in my attic right above my head. They would nest a lot, occasionally flipping things over... *shudder* It was like being in a horror movie.) Then finally, around 4 am, I finished the book. I could go to sleep peacefully knowing that the little shining boy was safe and sound.
Same thing happened with Secret Window, Secret Garden. It's a great story and I had to finish it. There's a lot of the suspense that King created with his words but movie failed to capture it. That bothered me. Then again, it could be the fact that I simply knew how it ends and I knew what the twist was. So maybe sometimes it's better not read the book.
But I'd rather have a ruined movie than a book any day.

Public Buses

Public buses are great. I'll tell you why.
First of all, they cost more than trains. One way ticket for the train from Osijek to Darda is 8,40kn whereas one way ticket for the bus is 17,60kn. That's obviously a sign of quality for we all know that if it costs more, it must be better. Why else would it be more than twice as expensive, right?
Then there are numerous colourful characters you can observe on the bus. Here's one. An elderly woman gets in on a bus stop and asks the driver if he's gonna stop at the first stop in this one village. He says yes. Excellent. She gets in, buys the ticket, and decides to stand next to the driver. The driver kindly asks her to go sit down since the bus is half-empty anyway and there's no reason for her to stand. She refuses. She'd rather stand. She's afraid he would forget about her. Again, he asks her to move back. And she does. She takes a few steps back but stands nevertheless. Only now she's standing right next to where I'm sitting. And it's OK.
I don't mind having old people stand right next to me for a few reasons. Reason number one is that they are clean. Their personal hygiene is remarkable. Therefore, they don't smell like corpses in the second stage of decomposing. There's no need for me to pull my jacket over my nose and breathe into myself. Reason number two is that they are very secure on their feet. They don't lose balance while standing up in the bus. They never fall on me and then get back up holding onto my shoulder with their death grips. They're cool like that.
Fucktards.

Couch Potato

Dexter: I don't understand sex. Not that I have anything against women, and I certainly an appropriate sensibility about men, but when it comes to the actual act of sex, it's always just seemed so undignified.

That was a quote from a show I'm just beginning to watch, meaning I'm a season and a bit more behind but fear not, I'm getting there. Now, is it very disturbing if I identify with a serial killer?

I had classes today. Who would have thought I'd actually raise my hand to comment on Beowulf...
It was more like me when I was in English Language Practice. The entire class was based on one term: couch potato. That's me. I had a blast. The professor, a brand new professor we didn't have last year, said: You're not afraid to state your opinion, are you? Why no, professor, I am not. *grin* So I bravely stated that I'm a couch potato and that I detest all kinds of exercise. I don't give a shit about sports. Sue me.

Random Blabber

Random thought: Jason Bourne makes German language sexy. Jason Bourne makes Russian language sexy.

I have a new layout. I'm not particularly happy with it but I needed a change.

Good news about Beowulf. It turns out I don't actually have to read the epic itself but only the summary. Phew. Cuz those lines were killing me, let me tell you that.

I asked kind people to help me find a program for extracting RAR files today. Seriously, if someone told me a year ago I would be looking for computer programs today... A lot happens in a year, no? And we learn every day.

Nic shared this link with us today. For those of you too lazy or too uninterested to click it, J.K. Rowling has told the world that Dumbledore was gay. I'm not sure I needed to know that. I keep picturing him and Snape... I will not finish this sentence. I'm just gonna leave you with that thought.

An Awesome Online Friend

You know Lindystar, right? She's one of the funniest people ever and is linked to your left.
Well, guess what? As usual, I checked out her blog, making sure I'm not missing out on anything in her posts or her hole (her chatbox, you gutter-minded people!) and it just so happened I was her 10 000th visitor! And you know what then happened? THIS!
Isn't she incredibly sweet? To do something nice like that for a stranger...

I can't believe I've met all these cool people online and I can't believe so many of them are sending me stuff: Doc, Mama Bear, Nic, Belinda, Perla, YKM... and now Lindy. Yes, I know giving your address to unknown people isn't the smartest move but how could I not?
Hopefully some day I'll be able to return their love in some way.
So thank you, Lindy. You rock.

Goodbye, Toše

Toše Proeski, a young Macedonian pop-singer, died this morning in a tragic car accident caused by his driver who wasn't well rested and was driving to fast. He was one of the most popular singers in Croatia in the last two years. Although he ended up in the pop-music, he was a trained opera singer. Toše Proeski was extremely talented, he had so many years before him, so much potential, yet his life ended at the age of twenty-six.

This tragic and most unexpected death made me think about few things. He was my age. My age. One minute he was here with all the time in the world to fulfil his dreams, to enjoy so many new days, and the next he was gone. But the difference between him and me is that he managed to bring joy to so many people with his singing, he made this world a little better place to live. I, on the other hand, did nothing. Maybe I don not have any gifts at all. I do not know. But that is just it: I haven't even tried to discover them yet, I keep thinking there is time. But what if there is not? Who can tell what tomorrow brings? Who can tell if there is even going to be tomorrow?

For too many people tomorrow never came thanks to the reckless drivers on our roads. How many people will have to die before sleepy, drunken, drugged, irresponsible drivers learn their lesson? Lives of children are taken every day. All the laws cannot make a change until people themselves decide to make it.

Toše Proeski's death was a tragedy, yes. But if it makes one driver to decide not to get behind the wheel tired and sleepy and it saves a life, then maybe his death was not in vain.

Be it so or not, we will always have his music. May he rest in peace.

After-Class Blabber

Hooray, hooray! I am back!
Yes, that is how it feels. After all the dreading and worrying and nail-biting and sleep-losing I am ecstatic about being back to class. Even if it is to two classes only. I'm not all that excited about reading Beowulf though but it'll pass just like everything else has.
It's not so great to be cut off of your old study group, especially with pretty much no feeling of sorry from their part but you know what? Anja and I will survive. (Although I did say we might be asked to wear a yellow star on our sleeves soon.) In our English Language Practice class there are people from other years I know already from other classes and when we had the chance to transfer to a group where our old colleagues are, we didn't.
So guess what one of our assignments is? We're supposed to write something like a journal entry every two weeks, 300-350 words long, free style, free form, topic of choice. I was on the verge of asking the professor: Can I just link you to my blog? but I held back. It doesn't mean I won't be copy/pasting some of my old posts instead of writing entirely new papers. *wink wink* Another assignment is a book report on a book of our choice that has to be 300 pages or longer, in English, and not older than 10 years. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, BABY! We also have to extract 50 words unknown to us previous to the reading of the chosen book, translate them spell them phonetically and use them in a sentence. Now, how does one pronounce Accio?
So I'll be having classes on Mondays only but it's Mondays all day long. Anja wondered what I would be writing about during the week nop that I'll be in classes only one day a week. I don't know. Can we call it a blog if I post weekly? lol Nah, I'm sure I'll come up with the usual shit as soon as I get to have something, anything going on in my life. I'm so looking forward to that.
I bought me a jacket today. I think it was the fastest jacket shopping in the history of jacket shopping. The first store I went in, the first jacket I tried on - SOLD! My sister approved. It must mean it's all right then.
I've sent a DVD with PB epis to Perla today and Mama bear just told me she had sent me GQ Mag today. What goes around... I love my online friends. Even when they make me cry.

Sunday Night Blabber

Here I am, the night before I return to classes. Or at least that's what I think. Because, listen to this, apparently we were supposed to put our names to the group lists for our Language Practice class. Did someone tell me? No. Did someone put my name on it when that someone was putting everyone else's name on it? No. It seems like at this point I am no longer the part of my study group. It took 4 days last week to be forgotten. Thanks a lot. Anja's name is not there either. Don't you just love "friends"? So tomorrow morning I might find myself in a group with people I've never seen before even though the sole reason I decided to listen to some classes from the 2nd year was to not lose touch with the people from my study group. Why, I wonder now. Anyway, back to classes tomorrow it is. I'm thinking I'll be posting more regularly once my routine is back to... well, routine.
I just saw "Grosse Pointe Blank" again. First of all, a great fucking movie. Second of all, John Cusack in it? H.O.T. Unlike "1408". He should lose some weight nowadays. Not that I don't like him anymore. He's still awesome, don't get me wrong, just not hot. 'Tis all I'm saying.
Tomorrow morning it'll be below zero. That's in Celsiuses, not Fahrenheits. I have nothing to wear. No, really. I have a jacket that is what? 3 years old? Or something and I fucking hate it. Cuz I might have liked it the moment I bought it but that liking is long gone. And it feels kinda silly to wear a coat. Not that it is much better, it's like 5 years old, I think. Am I jealous of my sister being able to buy herself clothes any time she feels like it? Sure. Can I ask my parents for expensive items such as jackets and shoes every year? No. So yeah, I often look like someone with no taste whatsoever but a lot of times it's that way just because my clothes is outdated. What can you do, right?
I'm sort of dreading and looking forward to going back to Uni. I'm taking another class by my last year's lit professor. The one with weird accent coming from the time he spent living in Texas, I think. Seriously, a Croatian with that accent... Just... no. Not to mention his tendency to act out what we read about. Oh yeah. Last year we watched him act out the fight of Tarzan and an ape. Trust me, you do not want to see that man acting like an ape. Now that I think about it, I'd like to know what are we going to read this year. Just to prepare myself. I fear it will not be pretty.
Finally, I have to say my thank you's to Darth Sardonic and Blogget Jones for awarding me with a "Blogs That Make me Smile" award. Yes, both of them. I'm incredibly touched and honoured. Especially since it came from the two people who, unlike me, really can write. Not to mention that I've never ever been awarded for my writing before. For my boobs yes, for my writing no. *snicker* So THANK YOU, Darth and BJ, you have both made my day.
Now I should pass that award along so here goes: to Lindy - because her confessions make me laugh out loud and often feel like I'm not that weird after all, to WFW - because hers is the first blog I got hooked on and it keeps making me smile for almost a year now, to Darth - because the first post I ever read on his blog made me laugh out loud and I simply had to e-mail it to my friends, to Sgt - because he makes me smile and to BJ - because she lets me know we're all neurotic in the same way.
So, wish me luck tomorrow, my virtual friends, since I get no help from my "real" ones.

Heroes & Cowards

I'm getting quite irregular with this blogging thing, aren't I? Do you miss me? lol Well, just in case anyone was wondering where I was, I've been watching Heroes. Frankly, I think I got addicted to it. That's one hell of a show and why I've waited this long to see it, I'll never know. Yesterday I saw 9 episodes. Yes, nine. I simply had to catch up with the season two. Don't you just love the shows that keep you on your toes? I wasn't going to watch 9 episodes yesterday, really. But as I would get to the end of the each one I saw, the cliffhangers were just to tempting and I simply had to carry on. That, and I obviously had nothing better to do yesterday. Anyway, can't wait for the new episode. (Like I really needed another show to watch.)

I'm scared. Of going back to classes on Monday. Even if it is only two classes I'm gonna be taking. I dreamt of being back last night (my mind is troubled by it, obviously) and I dreamt of Maja telling me I was supposed to read "Banket u Blitvi" (it's a novel by one of our great writers, Miroslav Krleža that I've never read nor are we going to be reading it this year - it's a really weird choice, brain!) for the next class and that I shouldn't worry cuz it's only 6pgs long. Anyway, I wonder what it's going to be like and I wonder if I'll be able to do better this year. I hope I will.

Selfish

What I am about to say is horrible. Awfully selfish. Human.
Anja told me she's gonna have to redo the year too. I'm sorry she didn't pass the exam but my God, am I relieved I'm not gonna be alone! OK, be appalled now. I'm way to busy being relieved and just a tiny bit happy with the fact that when I get to the 2nd year I'll have at least one good friend with me and not just the idiots *coughNikolinacough* to care about what you think anyway.
Sorry, Anja. I know you'll read this. *ashamed*

Lost In Translation

I haven't posted in a while. No, I didn't get me a life or anything. I got me more computer toys. lol You know how I have flat rate Internet, right? So naturally, I've been busy watching lots of movies I've been wanting to see forever. But that's not all. I don't need subtitles, obviously, but people around me do, so I was looking for them but often the timing is off or they're full of nonsense. For instance, how does someone translate "Your feet..." with "You're trembling" is beyond me. It bugs me, of course. Then I asked a friend if there was a way to fix the timing and I ended up with all these programs for creating subtitles, fixing subtitles, translating subtitles... So for the last two days I've been fixing the subtitles for "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" because Sonja hasn't seen it and the subtitles simply suck. Who ever translated it, has translated "Frank and Alice Longbottom" as "including his daughter too". ???????????!!! Not to mention the translation of spells and names. It was funny at first, but that movie is 2h16min long. I still have 25 minutes of subtitles to fix. Nothing is funny anymore.
Honestly, I watched "Live Free or Die Hard" today subtitlesless and I loved it. lol Btw, isn't it sad that I watched "Sin City", "Little Children" and "Die hard 4" and liked "Die Hard 4" the most? lol Why yes, I am that shallow. Or simply in touch with my inner man.
Uni situation is still quite unclear. I do not know whether I'll be allowed to take some classes from the 2nd year or not and I will not know till the end of the month. In the mean time I'm expected to attend said classes just in case. Luckily, the ones I picked out are held on Mondays. So it would be one day a week only.

Making Memories Of Us

... because it's simply beautiful. That's all.

Late

As I was on my way to the store this morning, somewhere around 9, I heard a rooster crowing. And I'm thinking: Dude, if I'm already up, you're way late for work.

Here We Go Again

Well, I went to the Uni today. I met a girl who is in the same situation as I am and she told me she was told we're supposed to go to the first lectures from the second year and then ask the professors if we could listen to them. But then I was told i only had to fill out form to ask to be allowed to listen to the lectures I chose, without having to ask the professors anything. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that this girl gave me th wrong information. Oh no. It's just an example of how four people in the same office will tell four students four different things. It's like they make up rules and regulations as they go along. And each of them make up their own. It's never boring at my Uni, I can tell you that.
I'm gonna be missing my friends though. Not so much this year, cuz if all goes well, I'll be with them in almost all of the English classes, but then when I finally get to the 2nd year, they'll all be in the 3rd and that is going to suck big time. Not to mention meeting a bunch of 18yr olds all over again... lol I highly doubt I'll find a group as cool as this one was once again.
So yeah, I'm a bit down with the whole situation now but I guess it's just something I'll have to learn how to deal with.