New Year's Eve

We had dinner.And now I'm watching LOTR. Happy New Year.

Wentmas Card

Check out the card I got from Maichan! Isn't that just PRETTY?
I've added it to my wall.

So This Is Christmas..

...and I'm bored to death, as usual.
I was out last night even though I'm still quite sick. It was a perfect Christmas Eve: snowing but not cold, not cold at all, so the night walk was wonderful. We went to the bar we always go to. Oddly enough, I didn't get drunk, not even tipsy. The music was absolutely dreadful. Techno. OK, I know there are like gazillion terms for this music, rave, house, trance and what not, but I don't give a fuck, it's all techno to me. It goes bang-bang-bang on my head and I bloody hate it. Some say its dance music. Well excuuuuse me, but that's not even music in the first place. And really, is Christmas music on Christmas Eve so much to ask for??!
At one point a weird looking group of an elder guy, a woman and a boy came in. You could say they were foreigners. Anyway, after a while this guy approached Sonja and me and asked her for her name. She told him and it turned out he went to school with her mother. Then he asked for my name and I went: I don't want to say. He asked again and I said he was a stranger and I didn't wanna tell him who I was. Then he said: I'm a Serb. and I went: Well, I'm not. He realised I wouldn't talk to him so he asked Sonja if she spoke English and she said not really and I was afraid she'd refer him back to me, but luckily she didn't. It appeared he asked it cuz the boy was English and he wanted Sonja to dance with him. Sonja politely declined and the guy left. There are some weird people out there.
Then we left to another place where we danced and sang for a while but then the music changed into Serbian turbo folk, which is the worst music ever and I said I'm going home. We returned to our house and my Mom got up and boiled some sausages and we had breakfast at 3am and went to bed at 4.
And that was Christmas.

Christmas Greetings

Me wishing you a merry Christmas:

12 Days Of Christmas Wheat

Day 11

Saturday Night Blabber

Wow, I haven't done one of these for a long time... Anyways. I'm sick. My nose is running, constantly. And sneeze, constantly. That's just great, when I'm supposed to go out in two days. It's my out-going-day of the year, dammit! I'm not supposed to be sick. If I don't go out on Christmas Eve, I'll have to wait till next year. lol So I'm drinking tea. Which only happens when I'm sick. I do spice it up with rum though. Cuz what's tea without rum really? Some kind of grass boiled in water. Who'd drink that? Not me. This way I at least pretend I'm drinking something good.
I installed the new wireless keyboard and mouse today. Yep, all by myself! remember how my sister has issues with me typing while she tries to sleep? Well this new keyboard is much softer ad it makes almost no sound. Unfortunately, the click of the mouse is much louder. lmao I just can't win, can I?
What else? Ah yes, uni talk. I have a research paper to write, on Dr. Faustus. Well, either that or poetry. And I don't do poetry. But here's the trick (it's never easy, is it?): the research paper is supposed to only be 800 words long and our research is strictly limited to the drama itself and Luminarium.com. Now, I don't have a problem with short papers. By all means, the shorter, the better. But how is it a research paper if we're not allowed to actually research??! I have no idea what will I write about. Not that there are no potential themes or anything, it's just that a research paper should involve numerous sources. It's just stupid. I'm quite mad. And I should really start working on it. I'm good at quoting other people but if I have to come up with the shit myself...
I think my tea needs more rum.

12 Days Of Christmas Wheat

Day 10
So I slacked a bit and skipped a day or four. Surprised, anyone? Anyway, me thinks I'll be quite poor next year...

Letter To The 13 Year Old Me

Darth tagged me. It's kinda poetic, I think, to be writing a letter to the 13 year old myself now that I am twice that age. So, let me take the trip down the nightmare lane... Oh and, if you feel like it, do this. I'm not tagging anyone but would be happy to read your letters. Actually, Bel, Lindy and Sgt, consider yourselves tagged.

Dear Kristina!
How's it going? Yeah, I know...
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't. The shit just changes. Evolves, if you wish. I won't tell you anything about it, I don't want to freak you out more than you already are.
I know how you feel. Seriously, I do, I've been there. I'm sorry your life sucks. I'm sorry you feel like nobody cares about you. It's not true though. You do have people in your life that love you. They are mostly the people that share your blood but hey, it's more than some have, right?
Your teenage years won't be easy, not to you and especially not to your family. You'll ignore them a lot, except during your breakdowns. I wish you wouldn't keep stuff inside of you till that breaking point, but I guess it's just the way you were coping with things. You're lucky, though. You have a mother that is always, always beside you, no matter what you do.
I'm sorry you don't have a best friend, the one you're supposed to have, the one that would think of you as a best friend in return. I'm sorry to inform you that you'll never have one. You're just not going to grow into a people's person, you know? But it's OK, not everyone is one.
About your skin... I know it's what's bugging you the most. I know it sucks monkey balls being called "Volcano" for the craters you grow on your face. But you know how people tell you it'll get better till you're 18? Guess what? It will! It doesn't mean much to you now, does it?
Watching all of your friends having their first boyfriends and experiencing first kisses can blow when you know it's not gonna happen to you. I'm sorry to say that it'll be years till someone notices you. I'm also sorry to say it'll be someone I now wish I'd... we'd never met. I wish I could warn you about him and change the way you'll play it but unfortunately, this is merely a letter, not a time-machine. I wish I could tell you to just be patient and wait for your 15 minutes, for the time when your life gets sorted out, for the moment when you'll be swept of your feet by Mr. Right... Well, that's not gonna happen. So you're gonna sleep with men wrong in so many ways that it would take a book to list them but at least you're gonna get out of that physically healthy. I'm not sure I can say the same about your psyche. That's not the way to get love, but you'll have to learn that the hard way. I wish the 18 year old us was smarter but she wasn't. She regrets it and she apologises.
You're gonna make one mistake after another so I suggest you to try to grow a thicker skin - God knows you... we could use it.
I wish you'd write more. Maybe there was a writer somewhere in us that was never let out.
I wish I could tell you to study more, develop better working habits. It would have made our life so much easier. Too bad school was too easy for you, too bad there were no challenges, too bad you never learned how to fight for what you want.
Oh and fuck those popular girls! One of them is now selling shoes at the market. (Yeah, that's mean but maybe, just maybe, you and me will go places some day.)
That's all I've got so far. Let me get back at you in another 13 years and we'll see where we are then. Hope's a bitch. But it's not going anywhere.
I'd say I love you but frankly, I never liked you much. Sorry about that. I'll try to work on it.
Take care. Do what you can.
Kristina, 26 years old

Twenty-fucking-six

And I expect to see every one of you HERE at some point today. Preferably after 4pm cbox time. Be drunk or be square. It doesn't rhyme but who cares.

The party looked pretty much like this:

12 Days Of Christmas Wheat

Day 6
Serious progress. Not perfect yet, but getting there.

In the other news... Some things grow, some get cut off. And dyed. Of course, I'm talking about my hair. Three and a half hours at the hairdresser's and I introduce you the new and (hopefully) improved me. Other than that, my day was quite uneventful.
Before

During

After

12 Days Of Christmas Wheat

Day 4
...was so lame that I didn't even take a picture. Nothing. Zip. Nada.
But...

Day 5
... was when it finally happened!!! People, we have SPROUTS! And if you click to enlarge, you can actually SEE THEM!

12 Days Of Christmas Wheat

Day 3
Still nothing...
On the other hand, we have sausages. LOL

12 Days Of Christmas Wheat

Day 2
There's still nothing. It's watered and left where there's enough light. Maybe tomorrow...

And completely unrelated to the wheat... It snowed today. And my dog isn't exactly bright. So he sits in the snow and shivers. Freezing his furry ass off. And ends up looking like this:

12 Days Of Christmas Wheat

Day 1
Today is St. Lucy's day. In Croatia it is traditionally the day to sow the Christmas wheat. It symbolises the next year: if the wheat grows nicely, it'll be a prosperous year; if it doesn't... well, you're fucked.
Anyway, lacking a life and all, I invite you to watch how the grass grows with me. This is how it is done:
First you take a bowl (or two in my case), some cotton and of course, the wheat seeds.

You spread the cotton into the bowl and sprinkle it with water. (the bowl on the left) Then you spread the wheat over the cotton, not too thick, not to thin. Make sure the cotton is completely covered. (the bowl on the right) Then sprinkle some more water over the seeds.

Finally, put the bowl somewhere where there's light and water it every day.

And now... let's observe!

FYI

I'd rather be "complicated" than "simple" any. fucking. day.At least I am one of a kind.

The Wall

Welcome to my wall!
Yes, I have no life to write about so I'm showing you pictures of the life I used to have. I know it's a crappy picture but whatcha gonna do, cell pics are like that.
So lemme tell ya a lil' something about the pictures, starting in the upper left corner. That's Marina, me and Nikolina in Italy, I'm thinking 1994. We climbed up some pile of wood and we were wearing the matching T-shirts (13yr olds tend to do that) and the sky was amazing and that summer was just great and it's one of my favourite pictures ever.
Under it is the picture taken on Marijana's wedding day and there's me in the purple dress and her and Sonja in the red dress. I was so wonderfully tanned and slim in the summer of 2005, if I may say so myself. I've never worn that dress since...
Then there's a pic of me in a dark-red night gown and my sister in white pajama taken on my 17th birthday. I had a pajama party with my sis and two friends. I never was a party-girl.
Next to it is the picture of Alf, my dead dog. He was a good dog and he deserves a place on my wall.
Above Alf is a picture of my Dad when he was really, really young, with hair and all and look what he's holding in his arms! That's right - me!!!
The heart hanging next to it is called "licitarsko srce" (scroll down a bit) and it's Croatian souvenir. I got it from an ex-friend but I still keep it.
Above me and my Dad is another pic of me, Marina and Nikolina. Check out how long my hair was! That was when I was 16, I think.
And then at the top is the picture taken on a Halloween 200... when Sonja, that ex-friend and me went as a family. I was the Dad. LMAO It was so much fun!
Then there's a tiny newspaper article about that diving centre I worked in last summer and my name is in it too so I kept it.
And then there are the postcards I got lately from my "virtual friends": the vertical ones are from Malaga and Pisa that WFW sent to me from her cruise, there's a Hawaiian postcard Mama Bear sent to me (who would not want to live there??!) and the two at the bottom arrived yesterday from Montreal where my dear Doc is living now.
And that would conclude the sightseeing of my wall!

P.S. If you click on the picture, maybe you'll be able to actually see something. But not really.

Pre-Birthday Blues II

So the blues stayed. Usually after a good cry I get over it but this year... I just don't know, something about this birthday bugs me. Maybe the fact everyone keeps bring it up. And I've got nothing to celebrate. Another year of my life gone in vain. I'm older but not wiser. I did nothing. I haven't moved from the blind spot. I have no goals. I have no ambition. I have no achievements. I have no friends. I have no reason to live. Still feel like celebrating my birthday? I certainly don't.
Oh wait. I did get something. A few extra tons.And it's not even my birthday yet.
I'm gonna go back to crying and staring at the ceiling.
I hate December.

My Elfin' Family

My Elfin' Family

Pre-Birthday Blues

Yesterday at the market, I saw a couple holding hands... and I realized we'll never do that. Never anything like it. No picnics or unguarded smiles. No rings. Just... stolen moments that leave too quickly.

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

And sometimes I just need that. When they mean no harm, yet cause the pain. When I need someone, yet am alone. Now.
Watch it when you need it. It's beautiful.

Chop-Chop

The pig halves have arrived. Two halves make one whole pig. There will be meat products and by that time I'll be using my new cell to document the process. Are you excited?
Btw, this pic is taken with my Dad's cell and that's why it's so small.

ETA: Crap, they won't be making sausages today and that's really the best part so there's nothing interesting to document. Oh well.

The Phone

I've inherited this.Now if I could only say goodbye to this...

Fuck The Yellow Tape: The Wrap-Up

I am proud to announce that the package is on its way!
Remember how that guy said it would take an hour to process it? It took TWENTY MINUTES.
Remember how that guy said it would be around 30€? It was TWELVE AND A HALF EUROS.
It feels like I sent it for free.
Anyway, the woman that was there today said it should arrive in less than 2 weeks. Hey, as long as it's there before Christmas, I'll be happy.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

Yes, I just totally congratulated myself but only because today is the One Year Anniversary of this blog! (I think I'm teething.) Well, that's technically not true since I moved it from myspace but what the hell, it's been one year since I'd entered the world of blogging.
During that year I met a lot of wonderful, funny, caring people and I wanna say to each and every one of them:

THANK YOU FOR READING!

Every comment you leave makes me jump up and down (if not literally, at least on the inside) and I love how they sometimes help, sometimes make me cry, sometimes are completely useless but at least they make me laugh.

THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME!

(Dyck, if you make a "sticking it to me" joke... well, it'll just mean you're an unoriginal copycat.) And thank you all, you amazing people, for not only entering my world but letting me in to yours.

A little reminder

Fuck The Yellow* Tape!

It's fucking unbelievable. Bloody post office is ruining my Christmas.
YKM and I agreed to be each other's secret Santas. Minus the secret part, obviously. I said "Yaay! Let's do it, as long as you don't expect anything expensive cuz you know, that ain't happening." She said of course not so I assembled a package with some candy and little gifts I had laying around. Nothing too big, I've heard it's the thought that counts.

First of all, finding good Croatian candy - not as easy as it seems! It appears we eat a lot of Milka, Snickers, Twix, chew a lot of Orbit and Airwaves, and snack a lot of Crunchips and Mogy. Fucking import. But I did manage to dig out some of the candy and snack I like eventually.
Then I went to one post office to buy the box.
"Oh we don't sell boxes. In fact, we don't even take packages here. You have to go to the main post office."
????! Fine. I went to the main post office.
"One small box, please."
"Go outside, turn left, and enter the first door."
"To buy the box?", I asked thinking maybe she thought I was trying to send a package and they didn't take them in there either. But she said yes so I went out of the building, turned left and found the place that actually sells boxes.
"One small box, please."
"Show me what you are sending."
????!
"I don't have it on me."
"It's just that you might like one of those envelopes with bubble wrap..."
"No, I need the box."
"But if you're sending something small, the envelope..."
"I'm sending stuff I really need the box for!"
Finally he agrees to sell me the fucking box.
"Should I leave the box open before I send it?", I ask, just in case.
"Yes, you better."
A'ight. he also added that if the package weighs less than 2kg, it passes for a letter. Awesome, I figured.
So I brought the box home, filled it up with the goodies, wrote a Christmas card, and a letter, and around 1pm today I went to the post office in my village to send it. I was given a little form to fill out but not before I was asked this question:
"Why didn't you tape and tie the package?"
Dunno. Maybe cuz I was told NOT TO! Anyway, I filled out the form and handed the box and the form to the woman and she goes:
"OH! It's for BELGIUM!"
????!
"You better come later this afternoon cuz we're switching shifts and we can't do this now. "
#$?*!!@"!#! They said I should come at 4.30pm. Fine.
I returned to the post office at 4.30pm. Now a guy was there. I told him how I was told to return in the afternoon and added I didn't know why was that and he said:
"Because it takes about an hour to process it." ????! Seriously, it would be easier to send a kidney to another continent. Then he said there mustn't be any written notification in it. I said I wrote a card and a letter and he said I should take it out or it would be sent back to me from the customs.
???! So I took the envelope out. He weighed the package, said it weighed 900g and said it was good it was under 2kg cuz it would pass as a letter. And then he informed me that it would cost me about 30€ to send it. My jaw hit the floor. I'm sorry, but I didn't expect it to be that much. So I said I didn't have enough money and he suggested I make it lighter. He also told me how much it would be if it was 0,5kg and that was acceptable so I went home to fix it. Read: take stuff out. Oh and the only reason I had to take stuff out because the woman who was there when I first came told me I should put more stuff in the box so things in it wouldn't move. Apparently, they don't like it at the customs when stuff move inside the box.
So I got home and told my sister what happened (I told her yesterday how I was barely allowed to buy the box) and she said:
"You're really out of luck, aren't you?"
I nodded thinking of how my mother would put it: "If you held on to a dick, it would fall off." (Or it wouldn't function - but the impotent boyfriend belongs to another story.) And then she took out some money and gave it to me, to help me with paying for it. So thanks to my sister, I am sending that package if it's the last thing I'll ever do! Oh and the letter will come separately.

*yellow = red - The colour of Croatian postal service is yellow

Geek's Bday Extravanganza!

I discovered it today: I am a geek in making. You know what I asked from my parents and my sister for my birthday? You're not gonna believe it. Hell, it's hard for me to believe it too! I asked for RAM upgrade, a webcam and a microphone. Yes. Computer stuff. I'm getting stuff for my computer. Now, I have no idea how it all works. I just wanna have it cuz it sounds cool.
And I heard a girl can make money with a webcam and the Internet access. I'm sure there are freaks out there who are looking for diversity in the bosom department.
Just kidding. I swear.

I Have No Title For This Post

Yesterday was a lovely day indeed. First of all, it was warm enough for me to wear a skirt in December. And even take my jacket off at one point. And that's war, people. Secondly, I got together with Maja and Anja for a coffee. But I'm jumping ahead of myself.

I was doing some shopping, nothing important, really. I sent out some Christmas cards and then went to the meeting point. But I was 15 minutes early and knowing those two are never early, I quickly went to a nearby store and bought me a shirt. Yes, that's how long it takes me to buy clothes (or boots but let's not go back to that). So we went to a cafe and talked and laughed and generally had a lovely time and when we were leaving the waiter told us to come again. Little did I know that I'd come back running half an hour later! I left the bag with the shirt there. Clearly I'm an idiot.