I haven't written about how I actually feel for a long time and I'm not particularly looking forward to this but here I go.
I feel hopeless. That's pretty much all I can feel lately. I am overwhelmed with the amount of work I am supposed to do in two weeks time and I know, I know, all right?, that I can only blame myself. I simply didn't give my best when I should have and now I'm paying the price. But the worst part is that I have given up. Really. I have. I am convinced it's impossible to read everything I should read in two weeks along with learning by heart the entire grammar of a dead language and a few other subjects that I keep failing and failing and failing... I made my peace with repeating the year and since I've done that, I've been having a whole lotta troubles with making myself study. It has a lot to do with me being naturally lazy, of course. Also, I have never actually studied in high school, and even if I had, I would have lost the habit long time ago. I don't even know how to study. I mean, I read and I read and I read and nothing sticks. I'm sure people repeat the material out loud after reading it but I feel so stupid doing it that I can't make myself actually do it. Yet another thing is that there's always someone in the house with me and I can hear them in another room and it's even harder to concentrate. Not that I'm good at concentrating anyway. And yeah, I know none of these are reasons good enough for being a terrible student that I am, but it's just how it is. I'm not justifying myself, I'm just blowing off steam. I had another exam today and I simply didn't learn it and I'm gonna fail. Next week I have three and may God help me cuz I sure as hell can't help myself.
I feel hopeless. That's pretty much all I can feel lately. I am overwhelmed with the amount of work I am supposed to do in two weeks time and I know, I know, all right?, that I can only blame myself. I simply didn't give my best when I should have and now I'm paying the price. But the worst part is that I have given up. Really. I have. I am convinced it's impossible to read everything I should read in two weeks along with learning by heart the entire grammar of a dead language and a few other subjects that I keep failing and failing and failing... I made my peace with repeating the year and since I've done that, I've been having a whole lotta troubles with making myself study. It has a lot to do with me being naturally lazy, of course. Also, I have never actually studied in high school, and even if I had, I would have lost the habit long time ago. I don't even know how to study. I mean, I read and I read and I read and nothing sticks. I'm sure people repeat the material out loud after reading it but I feel so stupid doing it that I can't make myself actually do it. Yet another thing is that there's always someone in the house with me and I can hear them in another room and it's even harder to concentrate. Not that I'm good at concentrating anyway. And yeah, I know none of these are reasons good enough for being a terrible student that I am, but it's just how it is. I'm not justifying myself, I'm just blowing off steam. I had another exam today and I simply didn't learn it and I'm gonna fail. Next week I have three and may God help me cuz I sure as hell can't help myself.
9 spoke back:
Hej K, točno znam kako se osjećaš. Ne znam znači li ti to išta, ali eto.
Ostala su mi 23 ispita sa 2 i 3 godine. 10 bi trebala dati u sljedeća dva tjedna, hmmmm.
Ali, valjda je bitno ne odustati. Iako i Bog zna da bi najradije izabrala tu opciju. Da si je mogu priuštiti.
Što moja prijateljica kaže: "A kaj buš se povlačila po burzi!? Bolje se povlači po faksu, makar ko crkotina. Neš bu bilo."
Možda je u pravu. Ne odustaj!
Hvala na podršci.
Ma nije tragedija ako ponavljam godinu, samo mi je, eto, došla voda do grla.
Krissie,
don't feel hopeless. You can do it! At least get a couple of credits, right? A couple of tips: You could take notes while reading. Like parts of the most important phrases. Then retell yourself what you've just read using the phrases. Then retell it without the phrases. Perhaps that'd work? Or try to explain the material to yourself using your own words?
Anyway, don't give up. Just go to bed on time, stop blaming yourself and take what you can get out of it. 'Kay hon?
Sure, Bel. What you just said.
No, really, thank you.
Dang, Krissie, you could be writing about my study habits! It's taken me waaaayyyy too long to get through the little progress I've made on my doctorate. I was the model Master's student, now....well, there are too many competitors for my attention. LOL Kids, work, moving, green-eyed men.... What's a girl to do?
Seriously, what do we do? I don't want either of us to feel hopeless anymore. Is the fear of not succeeding enough? Deep down, I know we are both capable and we really can do this.
Just be sure and sleep. It all looks worse when you're tired!
Take care!
Thanks, BJ! (Can I call you that?)
Sleep I do, lol, it's the studying I'm having troubles with....
Sure, you can call me that! I kind of like it....lol
Okay, so now I feel pathetic. I'm not getting my studies done AND I'm not sleeping! Dang!
You're not sleeping cuz you're in luuuurve. lol That's an awesome excuse!
if I may add some knowledge in neurology.
there's the photographic memory that works with the eyes, the shape of words or graphs, whatever you're studying.
there's phonic memory, you use your voice, that's when you speak out loud and remember it.
there's the sensory memory, where you remember things by associating them with feelings... but I'm afraid that doesn't really work with feelings of boredom.
All people's brains favores one or two of those memories. If you know which works best for you, you'll remember your stuff better.
Best of luck ly love. You can do it!
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