Monday, 24 September 2007

The Notebook & My Notebooks

I just saw The Notebook.
I'm a girl, therefore I cried.
No, it's not that. I really loved that book the first time I read it. I sobbed. At the part that didn't even cut it to the movie. If you've read it, you must remember the letter she wrote to him when she was diagnosed, where she said that even when she wouldn't remember, she'd still love him.
Anyway, I wasn't crying cuz of them. And I wasn't just crying over a movie.
I was crying because once again I have realised I am completely incapable to love. I'm dead serious. I see all these people around me who just love. And I don't. I don't know how. I don't think I have ever really loved anyone. And it makes me sad. I think I might be missing something I'll never know.
Stupid Notebook.

I haven't been eating properly in days. See, I thought I was doing fine. Until my Mum said it was normal I wasn't eating cuz I am nervous all the time. I thought I could handle another failure. But if that was the case, would I be sitting here at midnight, by myself, crying my eyes out? What if I never make it? What if I just get stuck where I am now? What if I never make anything of myself? I hate my life. I hate myself for being this... this... thing.


ETA: 2:23 PM
Interesting. I went to get my grade signed into my student's book and found out it was not a D as I had thought but a C. Who knew.

9 spoke back:

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Make sure you check out the sequel to The Notebook. It's called The Legal Pad.

Krissie said...

Of course. I've read it already.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you are capable of love.
And I am even more sure that you deserve to be loved.

nicbeast said...

It took me a long time. I'm still learning. There is hope.

Sgt said...

I had a similar incident in high school. I thought for sure she had D's but turns out only C's.

:-P

Congrats to you though on your better grade.

Krissie said...

Bel, Nic, you promise?

LOL, Sgt, and thanks.

Glitterstim said...

Oh Krissie....don't be so sad. I know things looks so bad sometimes, but the sun will come out.

From what I know of you, you are definitely someone who can love. And you are definitely someone to be loved!

Hang in there...it'll happen. At least, that's the thought that gets me through the rough patches!

:o) BJ

Anonymous said...

After all that emotional sharing and support, I can't get over the last paragraph+signature on BJ's comment... seen by itself, the topic could be anything from oral sex to chihuahua breeding.

Glitterstim said...

You're funny, Alan ;o)