If tomorrow never comes

I am without a doubt the most morbid person in my family. But sometimes, someone else gets aboard with it.

Sis: If I died, what would you dress me into?
Me: Something white-ish, you're still rather young.
Sis: Moooooooo-oom! Kristina doesn't love meeee!
Me (internally): LOL WUT?
Mom: Huh?
Sis: I asked her what she'd dress me into if I died and she immediately answered!
Me: Wait... what??
Sis: If I'd asked you, you would've gone crazy on me and started shouting "Don't talk like that!", and she just... answered.
Me: Oh. My. God. *inner headbang* You asked, okay? And it's not like I think about it all the time, I just said the first thing that came to mind.
Sis: Sometimes I think about me dying. The other day I was going to work and I was thinking about it, and I got really sad, I almost started crying. I think it would be really sad if I died, you know?
Me: It's a good thing you love yourself so much so it doesn't even matter if I love you or not. Jeez.
Mom: *looking at us incredulously*
Me: But come on, I'd be sad, too, probably.
Mom: Yeah, you love each other a lot, she'd probably kill herself.
Sis (looks at me): Nah, we don't love each other.
Me (looking at her): Yeah, we tolerate each other at best.
(everyone laughs)
Sis: I think it'd be easier for us if Dad died first.
Mom: *blink blink*
Me: Oh yeah, totally.
Mom: What do you mean?
Me: The three of us, we'd support each other, we'd stick together. If you died, Valentina would probably get married as soon as possible and move away, have her own life...
Mom (nodding):... Dad would drink all the time, and you'd...
In unison: ... kill self.
Me: Haha, yeah.
Sis: And what if she killed herself?
Me (bending over, laughing till tears start running): Oh God, this is priceless! In every scenario I end up killing myself! No one ever considers the possibility of me just... dying.
Sis (laughs): Haha, yeah.

Heh. A person tries to kill self once or twice and can never live it down.