Sleeptalking

Mom: You're snoring, man.
Dad: Maybe, woman, because I'm sleeping.

Uni Rant

Can you say incompetent? Can you say inept? I'm sure people at our student's office at the Uni can cuz after all, it' their name. You know The Incredibles? Well, these people should be called The Incompetents. Seriously. I've left my student's book there about 2 months ago waiting for the approval of taking some second year's classes. Finally it was done yesterday and I took my student's book back. Only to find out that they have put a class that is neither one of Croatian nor English study's class. It's insane. I am apparently taking the Managing of Informational Institutions now. What the fuck is that? I asked for ENGLISH LITERATURE, for crying out loud! So now I have to go back there on Wednesday and have it fixed. I don't believe it.

I've started working on my book report. It turns out I won't be doing Harry Potter after all but The Monk Downstairs. It's shorter (duh!) and I haven't read it before and it deals with a lot of issues so I'll have plenty to write about.
That's not the case with a paper I have to write for my lit class (why am I bothering when I'm apparently not taking it is beyond me). It's supposed to be based on 30ish lines of Sir Gawain and nothing else. We're not supposed to do any research of the secondary sources, just take these lines, come up with a thesis based on them, and write an 800 words paper defending our thesis. Believe me, you cannot draw a thesis out of that snippet. In fact, see for yourself.

`Good morrow, Sir Gawain,' said the lady fair, 'full carelessly thou sleepest that one can thus creep into thy chamber. Now art thou taken unawares, and I shall bind thee in thy bed, of that be thou well assured.' Thus laughingly the lady uttered forth her jestings. 'And,' quoth Sir Gawain, 'Good morrow, gay lady; it will be well pleasing to me to be at thy service, and I yield myself thereto, and desire thy favour as must needs be.' Thus did he dally with her with full glad laughter. 'But wouldst thou, lovely lady, be so good as grant me leave to rise and thus to set free thy captive? for I would fain rise from this bed and put on my robes, so should I talk with thee with greater comfort.' 'Nay, for sooth, good sir,' said that sweet one.' Thou shalt not rise from thy bed. I will give thee better counsel. I will cover thee up in thy bed and hold converse with my knight, whom I have taken prisoner, for I wis that thou art Sir Gawain, whom all the world doth worship wheresoever thou dost ride forth. Thy worth and thy courtesy are praised alike by lords and ladies and by all living. And now thou art here with me alone. My lord and his people are gone far away, and the other men are in bed asleep, and also my maids. The door is fast closed and secured by a strong bolt. So, since I have in this castle the man whom all love, no time will I be losing while it doth last,

In address.

Of me have thy will,

For thou shalt me possess.

Thy servant I am still,

As is fitting, I confess.'

`In good faith,' quoth Gawain, 'I think it would be gain for me were I not he of whom thou speakest, for to attain such worship as thou dost offer me herewith I wot well I am unworthy. By God, I should be glad, if it seemed good unto thee, to do thee service or pleasaunce in word or deed, and a pure joy it would be unto me.'

I know no one will read it but if some happens to anyway and comes up with an idea, I'm open to suggestions.

Jack

I've got nothing going on in my life and I've got nothing to write about. I am currently watching 24's first season. I saw seasons 2 to 5 but I never saw the first so I'm catching up. Anyway, since Jack Bauer is my favourite TV character ever, here are some fun facts about him.

¤ Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.
¤ Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
¤ Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first.
¤ If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
¤ If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
¤ Jack Bauer is the only human in the world with the ability to make Chloe O'Brien drop the personality disorder and patch him through.
¤ When someone asks him how his day is going, Jack replies, "Previously, on 24..."
¤ Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car.
¤ In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?

Like A Bad Dream

I almost had sex last night. In my dreams.
No, really. I never dream of having sex. Making out is as far as my dreams go. And even that very rarely.
So I almost had sex. With dr. Christian Troy. I have no idea where that came from. Anyway, we were sitting on a couch and I have a feeling we were married. I was holding him in my arms, stroking his hair, kissing his forehead, wiping his tears away... Yep, he was crying, but I don't know why. And one thing led to another and soon enough we were both unzipping ourselves when this guy came to the door. It was my dream so I somehow knew he wanted to talk to dr. Troy, they were like best friends or something, and I knew he hated me for being there. I also knew he had the personality of Model Boy (some of you might remember him from the LCB posts) and he looked like Luke MacFarlane (I know, right?). So dr. Troy looked at me and I nodded like Go on, he needs you., and he smiled and left. And I woke up.
Seriously, my conscious is such a bitch.

In real life, I might have agreed to a date with a boy I really don't like. He's a friend and he asked if I'd like to see a movie with him some time and without giving it a second thought I agreed. Then I thought about it. Especially when he said Your place or mine? . It could be just two friends hanging out. Really. I have no idea. I hope it's just that. I guess it'll have to be MY place with my parents in the next room. Just in case. Oh man.

Noticed

Remember this post? I submitted that post as my first journal assignment last week and I got it back today. I had three typos. They were indeed typos, I wrote "to" instead of "too", "few" instead of "a few" when I know the difference between the two very well and never mistake them and "to live" instead of "to live in". All right, the latter might have been a real mistake. But my typos are not what I wanted to share. It's the comment the professor made that has touched me. I glanced at some colleagues' papers and saw a line or two of comments, yet mine was drowning in the red ink. At first I thought something was terribly wrong with it but then I read it. There was an arrow pointing from a sentence (a sentence that said: I, on the other hand, did nothing.) in the text to it and this is what it said:

I'm sure that's not true! I once felt the way you feel now, but luckily I do not any more. From time to time, I do feel depressed, but I turn to work then, and it's OK soon. I wish you would realize how smart and attractive you are, instead of wasting your time and energy on gloomy thoughts.
I can also relate to you because I also had problems finding what I wanted to do in my life (I'm still not sure whether I've made the right choice) but I assure you that you have all the time in the world to decide and realize your potentials!

It almost made me cry, having read something so touching and personal, but it was also wonderful in a way, because it somehow meant that she reacted to my writing, and above all, she knew who I was, I was noticed. I thanked her for her comment as I was leaving the classroom. I hope she knew how much I appreciate it.

Bribe

Motherfucker! Fuck! Fuck! Fucking fuck!
I just got the Croatian version of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows to complete my collection. But isn't that something she wanted?, some of you might ask. Yes, dammit. That's why I'm so bloody angry. My sister bought it. One cannot take that book in one's hands and not smile. It's undoable. How do I hate her now? How?! Motherfucker.
And I was doing such a wonderful job of ignoring/hating her today. See, last night she had this huge scene with my mother, talking about this incident, crying crocodile tears, yelling about her sufferings and what not. I was in the living room during that time, acting like it had absolutely nothing to do with me. I said what I had to say and I was not going to discuss it any more. But then today my sister thought that we were OK because she talked to mother. And it wasn't, not from where I was standing. So she tried to crack a joke that I "didn't hear". A bit later she asked me to find her the episode of "Gilmore Girls" she had missed last week. I murmured "OK" and I did find it and started downloading it. So in the afternoon, as it was downloading, I turned the TV on to see Monty Python's "Holy Grail". Just as it was beginning, I saw MSN window popping up. Maja. Asking me about Geoffrey Chaucer. So I press PAUSE on the DVD and get to the computer to find her the link with the modern translation of it. And just then my sister comes in and throws tantrum because I can't be watching TV and at the computer at the same time because what would she do then. And I tell her I was downloading her "Gilmore Girls" and just replying to Maja about some Uni stuff and she starts yelling about pulling out the computer plug be-

(Took a pause to tie a bow on the new top she just bought and is trying on now and listen to this comment: Are you braiding a braid or tying a bow? because I was apparently too slow. Can you say bitch?)

I lost a thought. Anyway, I turned the computer off and watched the movie. I also stopped downloading her show and wasn't gonna download it at all since she was such a bitch.
And then she bought me the book. And "Gilmore Girls" have downloaded. Goddammit! Motherfucker! Fuck! Fuck! Fucketty fuck!

Don't Call The Vet

Let's say you have a very sick, very old dog. Or a cat. I know some animals are more equal than the others but let's say dogs and cats are equally equal. Or, to be perfectly politically correct, let's just say you have a very sick, very old pet. A pet that has to be put to sleep. Alas, you're broke. And vets cost money. Lot of money. And you'd shoot your pet in the head but you're a sensitive soul and can't possibly bring yourself to it.
Well, I have a solution.
Elizabethtown. The most boring film in the history of film making. Guaranteed to put your pets out in 30 minutes or less. I survived only because I'm not very sick and very old, but that's not the case with your pet, now is it? So let Orlando Bloom take care of your dirty work. Painless,free and highly effective.
And your welcome.