It's been brought to my attention that my friends have sort of been on a suicide watch for me.
Well, DON'T.
I'm not gonna kill myself. Hell, I'm not even gonna cut myself - I imagine it hurts like a bitch, I even hate paper cuts, okay? I'm not into hurting myself. Or others, for that matter.
What I'm trying to say, stop putting extra effort into "maintaining" me. Yes, I need it. Yes, I demand it. Yes, I'm fragile and needy and co-dependent and depressed 350 days of the year. But it still doesn't mean I want you here if it's a chore. It still doesn't mean I need people talking about me behind my back trying not to upset the crazy person. "Just nod and smile", I can hear them say.
My friends are not a chore for me. I don't want to be one either. Therefore, I declare DEFRIENDING DAY. Go ahead, knock yourself out. I promise, no hard feelings. DO NOT FEEL OBLIGED TO KEEP ME ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST. It's the worst thing you can do.
Well, DON'T.
I'm not gonna kill myself. Hell, I'm not even gonna cut myself - I imagine it hurts like a bitch, I even hate paper cuts, okay? I'm not into hurting myself. Or others, for that matter.
What I'm trying to say, stop putting extra effort into "maintaining" me. Yes, I need it. Yes, I demand it. Yes, I'm fragile and needy and co-dependent and depressed 350 days of the year. But it still doesn't mean I want you here if it's a chore. It still doesn't mean I need people talking about me behind my back trying not to upset the crazy person. "Just nod and smile", I can hear them say.
My friends are not a chore for me. I don't want to be one either. Therefore, I declare DEFRIENDING DAY. Go ahead, knock yourself out. I promise, no hard feelings. DO NOT FEEL OBLIGED TO KEEP ME ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST. It's the worst thing you can do.
10 spoke back:
Ok Krissie, I am not sure about what I am suposed to comment on this post *having a blond day crisis* lol.
I'll tell you what I think. I don't know if I am on your friends list...I know I am not on your "friends who think you will attempt suicide" lis, lmao. I am not here as a chore. I am here because I like you, despite sometimes you can be hard on me, loool. But I know that's how you are, that's who you are, that's how you roll. I just had to learn how to deal with it and make a choice: deal with you and learn about you and accept who you are or leave it and never speak to you again. Do you know what I mean? Maybe that's what you think of me too. I don't know, you tell me.
I am not here as an obligation.
You have to accept the fact that some people love you, seriously.
Stop putting a barrier between you and the friends and shit.
If we want to be here it's because we care and we wanna be around you and we wanna know about your life, even if it is not much (like you say it), whatever.
One thing I learned: what you think is what you allure. The thoughts you produce is what the Universe is sending you. Ok, I shouldn't have said that cuz now you have one more thing to mock me with, lmao. You know that I am right. You've said it yourself before. If you know sometimes you can be a tough one, then you being aware of it should already be a sign that you need to be not so hard with people. People can be molded into you and you need to molde yourself to people too.
This was my honest comment. And you said no hard feelings, lol. what do you think of what I said here? Do you wanna kill me now or some how my words made sense to you? lool *crossing fingers*
There's never anything you're "supposed to" comment on. hell, you don't even have to comment at all. That's exactly my point.
I know some people make conscious effort to check on me and let me know I'm not alone. That's love and that's friendship. But when you talk to other people and point it out, then it sounds to me like I'm a chore, a task, something one HAS to do. I don't want that.
in other instance, I accidentally read in someone's Twitter a message directed at someone else saying not to engage into a word fight with me because I get defensive immediately and then it's not fun anymore.
I know she was only protecting me but do you know how it felt? SMILE AND NOD, DO NOT UPSET THE CRAZEE! That's how it felt.
So yeah. know I'm complicated, i know I'm not easy to be around, but that's just it: DON'T. If it's not bringing you any pleasure, just don't. Right?
I love you, B2.
JSYK.
And thank you for the re-invite. God, that eljay is an awful place. Lawl. No rly. *bitchfacing*
"I accidentally read in someone's Twitter a message directed at someone else saying not to engage into a word fight with me"
TWITTER IS THE DEVIL!!!! I KNEW IT!!!
ILU back, B1.
I never would've uninvited you if I knew you cared.
Also, I feel guilty for you guys deleting LJs even though I realise it's not (entirely) my fault.
Hahaha, neri! It isn't, c'mon!
It's not anyone's fault, bb. I just have no use for an LJ, and neither does Ashley. It's not like we were posting in them. :P
We know we're generally shitty friends to...well, everyone. It's not like we don't know that. We just don't have it in us to address all that, atm. So we're taking a step back and removing ourselves from the picture for a bit.
Maybe when real life slows down, I'll get my shit together and make amends. Right now...I just can't be bothered with all the butthurt going on. I'm tired. :/
*Here. Being a lame friend*
Yeah. What AJ said.
I should've just used the A2J2 e-mail since you clearly share a mind. Not that it comes a news or anything.
Btw, HI! *waves* You like my new place?
I do like your new place. Is there a way to sign up for updates though?
I have no idea, TBH. RSS maybe?
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