Thursday 13 July 2006

Diary Of Krk X


I GOT IN!!!!! I make no sense, I know, but this is just too big! I'm about to start studying English and Croatian this autumn at FFOS. Can you believe it? I'm finally in! It's still sort of unreal to me, I can't quite fathom it. I'm beyond happy. I'm not quite aware that this means I'm going back to school but let's hope for the best.
What else is new? Erm, I'm still in touch with Hrvoje but only through SMS, we haven't seen each other since then and chances are we probably won't. it's sad, really, because it seems he really likes me. And I liked him but as the time passes I'm slowly losing it. I should see him again to check if he's as great as he seemed. I don't think it'll happen any time soon now because he's working every day the whole day long now and you know how immobile I am. We'll see.
The married with children guy is back, and I've been told he'd been asking where I was while I was home. My heart stopped for a split second when I heard that (although it would be better if I haven't heard it from HIS WIFE!!!) but then he didn't even look at me or speak to me the entire time they were here. I met himtoday in the street and he smiled and said hello but he was alone. I really must stop. Enough.
I'm sleepy. But I wish someone, anyone, would send me an SMS. I'm very lonely right now, I don't know why.

P.S. God damn! God damn! God damn! I finally got some fucking sleep and then this fucking moron came in and shouted: Are you asleep?!! NO, THAT'S JUST MY HAIR!!! YES, I'M ASLEEP, YOU IDIOT!! Though not anymore APPARENTLY! Now I can only go and fuck myself. I'm gonna go fucking crazy here, really. I'm like this close from hanging myself from the nearest tree. I made him his fucking pop-corn tonight out of the goodness of my heart and what do I get in return? The worst wake up call ever! And then I said: That's the thanx I get, this very gentle waking up? and the idiot then has the nerve to say: I could wake you up very gently! You fucking perve, I could be your fucking daughter! You HAVE A FUCKING DAUGHTER!!!! How would you feel if a forty year old pervert kept suggesting fucking crap like that to her, huh?! I'm someone's daughter too, you fuck! My mum almost didn't let me go back when I told her about his remarks on my account. Who does he think he fucking is??? And who am I? Just because I'm temporarily only a waitress doesn't mean I'm on disposal for filthy old perverts to enjoy themselves!!! IDIOT! He's the only reason I'm gonna really hate this place and I'm gonna hate it soon!!!!!!! I'm so angry, I don't know what to do! I could tear something up, I could break something. Writing angrily is not nearly enough to express my fury! If only I wasn't so tired and sleepy at the same time, if only there was a place I could go and scream from the top of my lungs! I could even hit someone really hard right now!! And when I say someone, I mean the biggest jerk around! Even the boss has issues with him! I hope he chases him away! It's really impossible to share a living space with anyone so inconsiderate especially when your opinion of that someone is getting lower on daily basis. Seriously, I had such a good opinion of him but now... Could I despise him more? I don't think so. Do I need all of this crap? Do I? What do I do? Who do I complain to? Is there anything that could possibly be done? I don't think so. I'm stuck here for the next two months and I can only pray for sanity, otherwise I may kill myself just about now!!!! If I only had something here that would really make me happy instead of two months ahead of me with no sleep or private life whatsoever! God, I need some chocolate and I've brushed my teeth already! Never mind, I'll brush them again!!!! And I'm not cooking for them ever again! I don't give a fuck! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! My dear, have I mentioned I HATE HIM!!!! And the other one, who is snoring as I write this down, too!!! It's virtually unbearable to survive here! How could I possibly function here when I can't get the absolute necessary GOOD NIGHT SLEEP???!!!!!! Someday I'm just gonna break and shoot someone, just wait and see!!
I love you, thanx for listening!

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