Though my edges may be rough and never feel I'm quite enough

So there I am, on a bench at the river bank, sun is shining upon my face, there's breeze in my hair and against my skin, and I'm reading slash that I printed out and took with me. It goes something like this: Their mouths find each other in the dark, fitting together so tightly that their teeth click and their noses bump. Dean manages to maneuver himself without pulling his lips from Sam's, shifting around until he can lie flat over Sam's body. and so on and I catch myself thinking: "Their mouths is a noun phrase, their is the determiner, mouths is the head noun, find is the verb phrase..." Seriously. Slash reading - YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. Thank you, Syntax of Phrase in English Language, thank you very much. In Soviet Croatia, Syntax of Phrase learns you. And you cannot get away.

Friday mornings are reserved for PE. Anja and I were 15 minutes late. I swear, it wasn't on purpose. So we slack around, trying to avoid actual work out as best as we can, and as I leave there's the professor and with him is my high school PE professor. So I stop by the desk, we shake hands, he asks how I've been and how was Uni, and my current professor points at me and says to my ex professor "She never does anything." "Aww, don't be like that!", I say and laugh. "She just slacks around", he continues and I wave it off with my hand and say "Oh, but he knows! I was exactly the same in high school." And I was. I mean, one is not a PE enthusiast for years and then suddenly decides it's no longer one's thing, right? I've always hated it, I'm not gonna start jumping with joy over it now.

The Curator, God bless him, really tries. He brought us monographies and DVDs with exhibitions today, for each and every one of us, and then he had this one copy of a DVD with some experimental films and what not (OH! I just realised I'll finally discover what they're really like!) and he asked if someone would take it and make copies for the rest of us. And he stood there with the DVD in his hand just waiting. So I volunteered. Stupid soft heart of mine. But I just felt so bad, the others were talking among themselves and not paying attention and you could see he was really trying to show us what it's about. And he only kept us for fifteen minutes instead of an hour and a half. Oh man, I'm warming up to him. I did not see that coming.

I was unconscious, half asleep

Notes from the Curator's class, Oct 28, 2008

~ the Curator is talking about a book, we don't know what book it is
~ but, there you go, it was first published in 1961
~ a-ha! it's originally English
~ the Serbian translation sucks for some reason
~ old world, new era, renaissance, modern art - like, apples and oranges and some relish
~ we're "taking a walk" through the table of contents - this is where the idea of 5 or 6 introductory classes stems from - there are 4 prologues to this book
~ no matter what he starts talking about, it's always "we'll get back to that"
~ Greek art introduces the term "style" - I'd say this is the first concrete piece of information we've got from him
~ I'm thinking about food
~ he keeps looking at me, I feel the compulsion to nod
~ ah, friends, Romans, countrymen
~ somebody shoot me!
~ we have to remember the word "Romanesque art" - am I the only one noticing it's actually two words?
~ culture consists of seven free arts - he didn't say which those are
~ Anja and Tajana are reading my "notes" - fake coughing doesn't disguise the laughter all that successfully
~ why is he going through the table of contents?
~ and for God's sake, what book is it?!
~ 40 minutes later we're at art nouveau
~ I poked myself in the eye with my finger - OUCH!
~ there's definitely not enough alcohol in my bloodstream for his "simplifying"
~ Baudelaire? Huh?!
~ world image, word image, world image - if you repeat it thirteen times, I still won't know what you're talking about
~ a-ha, we have to study the table of contents and make notes
~ and now something about the author of this, to us still unknown, book
~ time stands still
~ I see a cricket under the desk two rows ahead - I'm gonna call him Jiminy
~ oh my God, he's got another book
~ now something about secession in Osijek
~ definitely not enough alcohol

And then here are Anja and me in the class:

You think your days are uneventful and no one ever thinks about you

A friend suddenly pops up on gmail with:

Dejan: Černo says you're hot
Me: ???????????????
Dejan: he says you're hot
don't be so shocked
Me: how can I not be shocked, for God's sake?!
Dejan: it's not like he's lying
what's with the status message?

Smooth subject change, don't you think? Oh and I might be blushing. Boys...

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?

So I can transport wood around.

With nothing to say besides some comment on the weather

Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" made me walk around the city grinning stupidly without even realising it. Such a ridiculously uplifting song.

I was so happy lectures got cancelled today. Mostly because I got to see the new episode of Supernatural earlier. I love SPN but what sucks about it the most is that, even though we met through it, I feel you judge me for still liking it. I'm embarrassed even for liking it and I don't think I should be.

I don't care for politics. Well, for American elections anyway. But living in the country where Ivo Pukanić was murdered in a car-bomb explosion so shortly after Ivana Hodak was shot is starting to scare the shit out of me. Who is next?

I got stuck in the traffic jam this morning on the way to that 7hrs long lecture and I freaked out beacuse I didn't want to be late and have her make me write the punishment paper. I managed to get there on time. Then she cancelled the second part of her lecture and assigned us all with papers. You know what, professor? Fuck you.

I didn't go to the German experimental film thing. A girl from the class did but she couldn't find where the showing took place. I'm glad I saved myself wandering through the woods in the dark.

All combined, I still like exactly two people from the R+ forum. Why I still visit, I'll never know.

This is how I communicate. This is how I tell you about what goes on in my head, what goes on in my heart, what goes on in my life. If you don't comment or react in any way, I believe you don't care for me at all. You make me sad. You make me wanna withdraw even more than I already do. You make me even more antisocial.

I reread an epic poem for my lit class (Smrt Smail-age Čengića). I read it in high school like everyone else and thought it was yawn-so-boring. Yesterday, Harač brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad I got to read it again.

Cuz I am hanging on every word you say

WRITTEN TODAY IN CLASS

I'd say I'm stuck at the most boring lecture ever but that would be a lie. It saddens me deeply, knowing that I'll never get to say that about a lecture again. From now on, whenever I think I'm bored in a class, I'll have to ask myself: Sure, it's boring, but is it more boring than the Curator's lecture? And the answer will always, forever and ever, have to be NO.
I know it's hard to believe that one class can be so horrible. Well, brace yourself because it gets worse. Tonight us girls from the Curator's class are going to see some German experimental films. I know. I'm barely containing the glee myself. *stares blankly* God, I hope there'll be subtitles. Um... Are there lines in German experimental films? What do they experiment with? Will there be gore? I hope there'll be no gore. Or rape. I don't want to watch Germans experimenting with rape without subtitles. Imagine the notes (yes, we have to take notes). So, imagine the notes: Two German guys are raping a German girl. A lot. They're saying nothing. German techno music is playing in the background. Clearly, I know nothing about German experimental film but that's how I picture it. Most likely, in black and white. It would freak me out, though, if my vision turned out to be true.

In other news, I'm fangirling over one of my new professors. I want to make him a fan site that would contain audio recordings of his lectures. Not because his lectures are particularly interesting. It's a class about English dictionaries that are, granted, useful, but not all that much exciting. No, it's actually about the way that man speaks English. I've never heard English spoken so beautifully at my Uni till this class. It's British (of course it is) and I'm no expert, far from it, but if that's not RP at its best, I don't know what is. His English is perfect. Except for his ORs. His OR sounds Irish. And my God, it just makes it all the more wonderful! *fangirl sigh*
I texted (LOL, non-verb) Maja immediately after the lecture saying I loved it so much and she said: I know, right? It's beautiful. She knew I'd be mad about it. I told my parents about it over lunch. I stopped eating and talked about the way this man speaks and how I could listen to him for hours and I may have or may have not stared into nowhere for a while. But I don't think they got it. Mostly because my Dad said: But you speak English so well. Um, no, not really. I sound like I escaped from Russia. But some day, some day I'll sound like him.
I hope.

I've never seen and there's never been anything with the beauty of you

You know I don't normally post his pictures here. Just... I'm mesmerized. So this doesn't really qualify as a post of substance and proper grammar and style, I know, but bear with me. Speechless is the word I'm looking for.