When I was 13 or 14, I had three friends. Sort of. They all lived in the building next to mine and we would hang out. Mostly.
But from time to time I'd go to my balcony and see the three of them outside, playing or whatever. The first time I asked why didn't they call me, too. They said they had forgotten. The next time I also asked. They said they were gonna go home in a minute anyway. The third time I didn't even say anything.
We used to go to church every Sunday morning. We'd all get up, meet in front of the building and go. Except for the Sundays when I'd get up and no one would come. Then I'd ring someone's door bell and they'd tell me that oh, didn't I know? they decided they weren't gonna go.
During the war, my sister and I lived at our Grandma's. There were a lot of kids living in that street. It was the time when age didn't really matter, we'd all hang out, aged 7 to 17. Except for when this one girl would bribe everyone with candy into not being friends with us.
For the better part of my life, people were leaving me out. It's how it's always been. But I still haven't learned how to deal with being let in and then kicked out. It's still feels like standing on that balcony looking down.
But from time to time I'd go to my balcony and see the three of them outside, playing or whatever. The first time I asked why didn't they call me, too. They said they had forgotten. The next time I also asked. They said they were gonna go home in a minute anyway. The third time I didn't even say anything.
We used to go to church every Sunday morning. We'd all get up, meet in front of the building and go. Except for the Sundays when I'd get up and no one would come. Then I'd ring someone's door bell and they'd tell me that oh, didn't I know? they decided they weren't gonna go.
During the war, my sister and I lived at our Grandma's. There were a lot of kids living in that street. It was the time when age didn't really matter, we'd all hang out, aged 7 to 17. Except for when this one girl would bribe everyone with candy into not being friends with us.
For the better part of my life, people were leaving me out. It's how it's always been. But I still haven't learned how to deal with being let in and then kicked out. It's still feels like standing on that balcony looking down.
5 spoke back:
It is never easy. But I can tell you how I do it. If people start letting me out, I just back away and move on. I don't wanna waste my time with people that don't wanna be around me. And I don't feel rejected anymore. I simply back away and let them
be, because they don't deserve me anyways. Its like all things in life: things come and things go. But its never easy, I know.
It just sucks.
it sucks, but you capture it in gorgeous prose. i missed coming round here to read...
I missed having you around reading.
i loose friends all the time. (so watch out, i just might loose you too)
btw why the heck did they stop hanging with you? i just dont get why people are weird like that.
Just make sure when you're standing on that balcony looking down again - you go ahead and spit a nice juicy loui for whoever becomes the victim of it at the bottom...cuz fuck it.
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