LOL what?!

I got no plans and too much time

My Mum thinks my 41yo computer course teacher is hitting on me. Yeah. Just because he came over yesterday to hang out a bit with me. Which, okay, might be a bit weird to her, but that doesn't mean he's trying to get into my pants.

Him telling me I'm ~fascinating~, complimenting my make-up, and my perfume - that might mean he's trying to get into my pants, but my Mum doesn't know about that. :P

At least he's handsome.

In other news, the Boy took me to lunch the other day. I've had an amazing salad with lettuce, cabbage, tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, carrots, grilled white turkey meat, grilled mushrooms, cottage cheese, and yogurt dressing. Fun fact: it's called ~the Fitness Salad~. LOL Anyway, I told a friend about the lunch and she said: You're dating. Totally, I said, except for the dating part.

The weather is finally spring-like. Of course, it means I'm trying to watch my diet again, and sort of exercise. I might get into the aerobics class here in the village, but that is gonna have to wait till my computer class ends on Friday. In the mean time, I'm doing some sit-ups, and run around with my dumb dog that just can't seem to grasp the concept of fetch, and yesterday I chased a 4yo boy around my house for about half an hour. I ended up drenched in sweat because come on, I was running! So I took him in my arms and said to him: Okay, kid, auntie K has to sit down now because she's old and is gonna collapse otherwise. And the kid, bless his heart, exclaims: You're not old! You're not, you're not! So, y'know. I LIKE THIS KID.

*facepalm*

Ugh, no. I think a dude from my computer course is hitting on me.

There's a reason for this blog's title

There's this across-the-street neighbour lady who likes to poke her nose into, well, everything. She was over yesterday when I came home from the course, and as I was heating my lunch she said she had to tell me about this thing her granddaughter said the other day.

Do tell, I say all politely, although I couldn't be less interested in this topic of conversation.

And this is what she says: She asked me the other day who was born first, you or your sister. I told her it was you, and then she asked me how come that your sister had a boyfriend and you didn't.

I smile faking amusement but, refuse to comment. She continues: I told her she'd have to ask you herself, and then she asked was it that you didn't like to kiss.

With the fakest smile plastered to my face I say something like Oh those kids!, grab my tray, and scurry to my room.

Seriously. There's no way in hell a 5yo would come to these conclusions on her own, especially, and I'm being realistic and not just mean, not a 5yo that is a product of combined genes of this woman's son and his wife. Way to be subtle asking about my love life.

Previously on "The Life of Kris"...

During the last three weeks I've been attending this ECDL (European Computer Driving License) course. Maybe you've noticed I haven't been around as much in the evening (that's my evening, not Maichan's), and that is why. It takes place every weeknight from 9 to 11pm. Funny, when I'm at home, I'm easily up till 1am or so, but there? I get sleepy at 10. LOL Anyway. I've learned so much interesting things, things like how to create a folder and rename it, how to edit a text file in MS Word, how to copasta shit from one place to another... It's overwhelming! [/heavy sarcasm] Blah, you guys. There's six other people in my group, and I couldn't care less for any of them. The guy teaching the course is pretty hot, though (also married and about 15 years older than me, but that's neither here nor there). My point is, computer time is seriously cutting into my computer time. And I've actually been offered to take an additiounal course after I have finished with this one, and become the course teacher myself. LMAO! Can you imagine me educating people on how to operate a computer? The idea is pretty fuckin' hilarious, but I dunno, I might even consider it.

Speaking of computers, boy, did I have troubles with mine this past week! Jesus. All I wanted was to go from WinXP to Win7, but of course, seeing how it's me we're talking about, everything that could've gone wrong, did. First, the new graphic card, that was allegedly required, couldn't be installed into my computer because of the connectors. Stupid old computer! Naturally, the kind I need is barely even on the market anymore. Then it turned out I didn't really need a new graphic card anyway, so the guy was like, let's just upgrade the OS as it is. So he did, and then Win7 wouldn't recognise my network card. See, Win7 worked beautifully... except for the part where I DIDN'T HAVE ANY INTERNET! So that was a no. Back to WinXP. The guy returned a few days later with some ~ideas~ on how to fix it. The ideas? Didn't work. So I got my course teacher to come see it on Friday, and he tried a few things, but yeah, Win7 still wouldn't give me the most important thing. He then tried to clean the disk from the mean new OS, and then... it all went away. Both Win7 and WinXP were inaccessible. Bye-bye, computer time for the ENTIRE DAY. Now, a few months ago I would've been so pissed off had it happened. However, turns out my happy pills? Are pretty fuckin' awesome because I was mostly like, oh... well, okay. Ha. Ha. I have no idea who I am anymore. Anyway, the guy returned the next day and re-installed my old WinXP and all is once again well in my world. Except for how I've got an extra graphic card that I don't know what to do with.

Have I told you how MT sent me Nick Hornbys newest book, "Juliet, Naked" JUST BECAUSE I said I wanted it? Well, she did, and I read it, and I loved it. Nick Hornby - I love him. I'm not saying it often enough.

I was going to see "Alice in Wonderland" today but guess what happened. Go on, guess. You can't, can you? Some fuck-up decided it should be DUBBED TO CROATIAN. I do not wish to watch Johnny Depp while he speaks Croatian, okay?! For fuck's sake. I wonder whose brilliant idea it was, because I have a nice, tight piece of rope to present them with.

Huh. Turns out I can still get pissed off at shit. Good to know.

In conclusion, OSCARS!