In short, I've been having a rough time lately, and I've decided to ask for professional help, because clearly I'm not doing well on my own. Hopefully some therapy will help, because I can't really deal with the mood swings and depression anymore. I'm apathetic or hysterical, crying or screaming, cannot concentrate on ANYTHING. I mean, I can't stick throughout a movie, let alone study for some extended period of time. Hell, the last episode of SPN? I barely finished watching it.
I'm not well, but I'd really like to be. At some point.
And that about covers it.
The longer version would start somewhere around when I was 14 or 15 but that's a lot of sadness to cover so I'm not going to be doing that. It would also include saying my sister ~doesnt believe~ in mental illness, nor does she think therapy can do anyone any good, but that's an easy thing to say for someone who's essentially content, and strong, and productive, and happy. All of which I am not. So I must choose to ignore her.
Am I scared? Hell, yes. Do I feel like not going through it, keeping the status quo instead? You bet. But I don't think it gets worse than this, so. Bel, you should be proud.
Also, thanks to everyone who left sweet comments on my latest post. You guys are all awesome, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. ♥
OT, and on the brighter hand (which is in no way a phrase, but sue me :P), the Boy ran to my help on a SATURDAY MORNING, and then he one-armed hugged me upon our meeting. Then he bought me breakfast and poked me in the shoulder when saying goodbye. Ten years from now, I'll be getting his pin, you mark my words. :P I'm holding onto the little things, okay?
I'm not well, but I'd really like to be. At some point.
And that about covers it.
The longer version would start somewhere around when I was 14 or 15 but that's a lot of sadness to cover so I'm not going to be doing that. It would also include saying my sister ~doesnt believe~ in mental illness, nor does she think therapy can do anyone any good, but that's an easy thing to say for someone who's essentially content, and strong, and productive, and happy. All of which I am not. So I must choose to ignore her.
Am I scared? Hell, yes. Do I feel like not going through it, keeping the status quo instead? You bet. But I don't think it gets worse than this, so. Bel, you should be proud.
Also, thanks to everyone who left sweet comments on my latest post. You guys are all awesome, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. ♥
OT, and on the brighter hand (which is in no way a phrase, but sue me :P), the Boy ran to my help on a SATURDAY MORNING, and then he one-armed hugged me upon our meeting. Then he bought me breakfast and poked me in the shoulder when saying goodbye. Ten years from now, I'll be getting his pin, you mark my words. :P I'm holding onto the little things, okay?
2 spoke back:
Sigh. Definitely my stupid mouth.
Life is tough isn't it? I'll keep reading see what happens. I wish I can hug you. Times haven't been that great on my end either.
Boy who buys breakfast and give one arm hugs is just about the sweets thing. I'm crossing my fingers for ya. I sure need the luck too!
Well then, good luck back atcha!
Post a Comment