Stupid Model Guy!

Why does he even address me? It's only to annoy me! Why does he presume he knows anything about my life? And why do I answer back??! Gaaaaah! And why do I let him get to me like that?
I may play a bitch, but in fact I bruise too easily...

All right, for your entertainment, the transcript:
But first, the set up: the topic on the forum was nudist beaches and stuff, so I wrote I sunbathed topless a few times and this is where he comes in, whispering of course. Oh and, he never spoke to me once after we have actually met. Just saying. So here goes:

MG: mmm, you could come swimming with us some time, then go topless
K: you know I'm gonna say "yes" to that proposal
MG: I know you're lame like that, but I love to provoke you
K: I know
I'm so uncool
MG: ok, these sarcastic remarks are uncalled for...
K: that wasn't sarcasm
MG: well then do something with your life, instead of being half-depressed all the time...
K: I don't even know what to say to you after that
MG: then say nothing...

Why does he pick on me? I don't know how to handle him!

Just Blabber

My breasts are swollen, heavy, a half of cup size bigger than usual and aching. The best time of the month. An ex would sense (or see) when that would happen and would go straight at them. I had to fight him off with a stick! Aching, dammit! Not to be touched!
Anyway... I'm at the train station today and there's this guy with two children. They are wearing matching blue/orange sweats and the older boy has beautiful curly hair, and he has a lot of it too, and the younger boy has short hair, "normal" boy's hair cut, and I'm thinking "Why on Earth would they let one boy grow all of this hair and cut the other one's short?" cuz it just seems weird. And then I see that the bigger boy is wearing pink shoes and has earrings and I realise that the "he" is in fact a girl. Poor thing. Not pretty. But here's my question: why do people dress a brother and a sister in the same clothes??! I mean, my sister and I were dressed the same a lot when we were kids and we didn't like it all that much and we were (still are!) both girls, for goodness sake! Another thing. As I was watching that guy I was thinking he's way too young to be having two kids, as I often do when I see these men with children around. I mean, I could be dating them (in theory), they're not old. And then it hits me: it's not them that are too young to be having children, it's me who is too old not to be having children! *chanting with fingers in ears* I do not hear bio-clock ticking, I do not hear bio-clock ticking...
And no, this post has no point whatsoever. But I guess that's allowed in pre-PMS state (another indicator of PMS approaching: longing for pancakes! Pancakes, anyone? I'll be making them later.)

Feel

OK, it is as it is. Nothing to do now, all I can is try to deal with it the way I can. I'm not giving up, not yet, although I have to say I'm not hoping all that much either. I suppose having a little luck will play a part too. I better start right now. God, I need a plan. Even more importantly, I need to stick to the plan! I wish I didn't feel like a failure so often in my life. I wish I managed to finish something once! How come I always give up in the middle? How come I don't have the ability to deal with obstacles? Why am I so weak?
My mother says I got that from her mother. After my grandfather hung himself, she just gave up. She basically lay down and waited to die. She just didn't have the will to deal and I'm afraid I'm just like that too. People tend to laugh when I say I'm just waiting to die but most of the time I'm dead serious (no pun intended). I can't quite explain it. Robbie Williams said it best: I don't wanna die/But I ain't keen on living either. Speaking of Feel. I wish I could feel something again. This apathy thing... not all that fun.
I have no idea what I am talking about now. Rambling.

Crushes

This quote totally deserves a post of its own. OH SO TRUE! (Except for the last two sentences cuz y'know I'd never... *trying real hard to keep a straight face here*)

crushes suck
i hate em
the dilemma, the desperation
the hopes dashed etc
the masturbation
hehehe
the masturbation is ok.
hey.. the masturbation is good..

Funny Shit

Puki from forum shared this link with us. Here are a few quotes.

Hey, you know what sucks?
vaccuums
Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
black holes
Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
lava?

d-_-b
how u make that inverted b?
wait
never mind

man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
you don't live in Hope mills do you?
ya, why man?
lol, just wondering, was her name alisson?
you mother fucker

lol
I download something from Napster
And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
"getting my song back fucker"

hey baby, whats up?
umm....nothing?
So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

67% of girls are stupid
i belong with the other 13%

I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
so i helped him walk to the toilet
all the stalls were occupied
lol
bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
and there's this guy in there taking a shit
hahahahahaha
and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
and runs away
imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

what the fuck is wtf

Dream

Oh what a dream I had! I blame Trap, lol. We've talked way too much about Model Guy yesterday so I dreamt about him being in my house for some reason, following me around and trying to make me blow him. *shudder* I have got to stop dreaming of disgusting things!

OT: Rosi form cbox sent me "I could fall in love" last night. I've been looking for someone who had it for soooo long. I can't stop listening to it now. Silly how I am such a sucker for all things romantic as long as it doesn't happen in real life.


I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
'Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay

'Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let you go

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you, baby

I can only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still

So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try to do what I should do
But I could fall in love, fall in love with you
I could fall, fall in love with you

So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you, baby

I could fall in love
I could fall in love with you, baby
I could fall, fall in love with you

Saturday Night Blabber

Aren't these the worst ones? Saturday night, a girl in her prime (all right, that's a stretch) sitting at home...
I had coffee with Trap today. So OK, I admit it, I was a bit over-dramatic... But hey, that's just me! There's nothing like gossiping about people you barely even know! It's tricky, though. You don't really know who is friends with whom so you have to censor yourself a lot. Just in case, y'know... Anyway, he said he had no idea anything was going on with LCB. Well GOOD! Not like I wanted to advertise it! Not that anything happened anyway.
Fox is trying to organise a barbecue for the selected few, lol. I said I'm in, as long as it happens after my exam, so now they're thinking about next Saturday which would be great. Barbecue, drinks, rummy... I'm no outdoor girl, but I think I'll survive.
J.K. Rowling has finished the last "Harry Potter" (here I go again). She said she had wept through the last chapters. Well who could blame her? I mean, I could cry right now when I think about it ending. And I'm a bit scared. After all, Dumbledore was killed, so literally anyone could be next. God, I can't wait the book!!!!
OK, let's face it - I've got nothing to say.

Currently reading: The Understudy, David Nicholls (supposed to be funny, but it's not so much funny as deeply depressing)