Previously on "The Life of Kris"...

During the last three weeks I've been attending this ECDL (European Computer Driving License) course. Maybe you've noticed I haven't been around as much in the evening (that's my evening, not Maichan's), and that is why. It takes place every weeknight from 9 to 11pm. Funny, when I'm at home, I'm easily up till 1am or so, but there? I get sleepy at 10. LOL Anyway. I've learned so much interesting things, things like how to create a folder and rename it, how to edit a text file in MS Word, how to copasta shit from one place to another... It's overwhelming! [/heavy sarcasm] Blah, you guys. There's six other people in my group, and I couldn't care less for any of them. The guy teaching the course is pretty hot, though (also married and about 15 years older than me, but that's neither here nor there). My point is, computer time is seriously cutting into my computer time. And I've actually been offered to take an additiounal course after I have finished with this one, and become the course teacher myself. LMAO! Can you imagine me educating people on how to operate a computer? The idea is pretty fuckin' hilarious, but I dunno, I might even consider it.

Speaking of computers, boy, did I have troubles with mine this past week! Jesus. All I wanted was to go from WinXP to Win7, but of course, seeing how it's me we're talking about, everything that could've gone wrong, did. First, the new graphic card, that was allegedly required, couldn't be installed into my computer because of the connectors. Stupid old computer! Naturally, the kind I need is barely even on the market anymore. Then it turned out I didn't really need a new graphic card anyway, so the guy was like, let's just upgrade the OS as it is. So he did, and then Win7 wouldn't recognise my network card. See, Win7 worked beautifully... except for the part where I DIDN'T HAVE ANY INTERNET! So that was a no. Back to WinXP. The guy returned a few days later with some ~ideas~ on how to fix it. The ideas? Didn't work. So I got my course teacher to come see it on Friday, and he tried a few things, but yeah, Win7 still wouldn't give me the most important thing. He then tried to clean the disk from the mean new OS, and then... it all went away. Both Win7 and WinXP were inaccessible. Bye-bye, computer time for the ENTIRE DAY. Now, a few months ago I would've been so pissed off had it happened. However, turns out my happy pills? Are pretty fuckin' awesome because I was mostly like, oh... well, okay. Ha. Ha. I have no idea who I am anymore. Anyway, the guy returned the next day and re-installed my old WinXP and all is once again well in my world. Except for how I've got an extra graphic card that I don't know what to do with.

Have I told you how MT sent me Nick Hornbys newest book, "Juliet, Naked" JUST BECAUSE I said I wanted it? Well, she did, and I read it, and I loved it. Nick Hornby - I love him. I'm not saying it often enough.

I was going to see "Alice in Wonderland" today but guess what happened. Go on, guess. You can't, can you? Some fuck-up decided it should be DUBBED TO CROATIAN. I do not wish to watch Johnny Depp while he speaks Croatian, okay?! For fuck's sake. I wonder whose brilliant idea it was, because I have a nice, tight piece of rope to present them with.

Huh. Turns out I can still get pissed off at shit. Good to know.

In conclusion, OSCARS!

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now

Just turn around.

~ Holy shit, SovCro postcards are hideous. True story. I apologise in advance.

~ Oral presentation postponed till next week. Oh see me weep.

~ Sons of Anarchy. NEXT TIME FORCE ME SOONER. Seriously.

~ I think one can totally tell just by looking that I've lost weight. V. happy.

~ If I never hear about Star Trek again, it'll be too soon.

~ Fuck you, PB writers. Fuck you up your ass and... and... something not nearly as pleasant, I just can't think of it right now.

~ Krk, here I go again apparently. Yes, it's hard w/o my awesomeness, so I must grace you with my presence.

~ Pride and Prejudice and Zombies - surprisingly SPN like in the beginning, not so much later on.

~ 30°C FTFW!

You can't always get what you want

Dear movie theatres in Osijek!

The both of you suck ass. I hate you. GIVE ME FRIDAY THE 13TH! I was promised Jared Padalecki on April 2nd months ago. You, apparently, do not deliver.

Oh and did you know that IMDb says it should've been here on FEBRUARY 26TH? Yeah, NO.

I just want to go to a theatre all alone, sit at a perfect spot with a huge bag of popcorn in my hand, maybe some pumpkin seeds just for the hell of it, and watch Jared Padalecki breathe wearing that T-shirt. Is that too much to ask?

Not only did I not get to see it when the rest of the world did, now I can't see it when Zagreb can? Instead, we get Inkheart, Duplicity, and Monsters vs. Aliens. Brendan Fraser. SERIOUSLY?!

DIAF, theatres in Osijek. Literally.

Kris

Yes I'll find you and cut you down, friends and neighbours

So it looks like no one reads this blog. Which is fine. I'm most likely not reading yours either. I would totally shut it down and move completely to LJ, it's just that I love this layout so fucking much! I know, what a reason to keep a blog, eh?

Anyway.

Wow, my life is boring. I could be reading the book I'm supposed to read by Friday but Oh. My. God. Why are Croatian writers so uninteresting?

In other news, I have a story that's been bugging me for a few days that I may or may not write. Yes, it might be fanfiction. Only not really. There's a story I wanna tell only I'm not comfortable writing in first person. About me. So I might borrow some characters from elsewhere. But I don't know. Writing fiction, even if it's half-fiction, seems like a chore, and God knows I'd be better off writing in Croatian, a language in which I actually know the words I'd need to tell a story. So yeah. I'm not optimistic. Besides, if I put it off for long enough, the urge to write will probably go away. Oh and this, blogging about nothing? Short-term solution. This is me writing without actually writing.

No one talks to me anymore. There'd be times when I would juggle 3 or 4 chats at the time. Nowadays? Silence on all fronts. Clearly, everyone is bored with me. But that's OK because I'm mostly bored with everyone as well.

So I'm watching TV shows. The Big Bang Theory! \o/ It's so hot in here, it must be Summer! Oh Howard, why so lame? I love love love that show! I swear, I go through withdrawals without it. Then there's Leverage which, okay, may not be the smartest show out there but Eliot? I love him! And that's purely character based, because the actor? UGH, NO. I also finished watching Merlin. Speaking of stupid. But it's kind of endearing in its simplicity AND the fic is really fun. Often much smarter than the show is. So there's that.

I saw Slumdog Millionaire. Seriously, what the fuck? Now, I haven't seen the rest of this year's Oscar competition but if that's the best that's out there? Jeez. It ain't THAT good. Changeling was totally better, for one. And it wasn't even nominated. Pfft. I loved the mass dance scene at the end. Of Slumdog, not Chageling. No one danced there. (Btw, why so depressing, movies? I also saw Revolutionary Road and God, did I wanna slit my wrists.) I love mass dance scenes. Best part of She's All That (yeah, yeah, tough competition there) was most definitely the scene at the prom dance. To this day I love that song! Heh, for someone with so much hatred for everything and everyone, I sure do love a lot of shit today. Like Wall-E! Oh Wall-E! Well, the first part of the movie anyway. With no talking and just that atmosphere and just the general feel of the movie. The chase on the ship was meh. But I suppose there had to be some kind of plot or something. Whatevs.

Thirteen of my "friends" are online on various chatting services right now. THIRTEEN. I'm bored out of my mind and not one is talking to me. Screw you.

Everybody just say ahhhhh (ah ahh ahh ahhhhh)

Holy shit, Jared Padalecki!

*ahem*

In other news, YAY, I'm alive! Turns out, the girl, Marina, is NOT a homicidal maniac, but is, in fact, a very nice girl. \o/

Horror movies scare her, apparently. I LOL'd. So did the kids up at the gallery, they sounded like they were having the time of their life. Sadly, we've only got the lame 2-D version. Y SO LAME, SOVIET THEATRE? *chagrin* But still, HOW AWESOME WERE THOSE JENSEN CLOSE-UPS?

I kept saying: Shoulda brought my camera, shoulda brought my camera...

Afterwards we had some coffee and we discussed fic! FIC! I discussed fic speaking Croatian to someone in person!!! It's such a relief being able to say "slash" and not get "Oh, I know Guns'n'roses!" in return.

So I came home and my Mom asks how it went and I say it was great and she asks if we had things in common apart from "that actor" and I say sure and she asks what else and I wave my hand around and say: Oh, you know... this whole thing. and she asks which whole thing and I say it's kinda hard to explain.

Because I doubt she'd react well to me saying: SUPERNATURAL GAY PORN.

Like, open the fridge and stuff, and there'd be foods laid out for us with little pre-wrapped sausages and things.

I'm at R+ forum, as I often am, and this one guy politely asks the others to resize their pictures before posting them by suggesting they hit resize image in imageshack. It's a perfectly reasonable request. Or it would be, if most of the people there weren't complete idiots that have no idea what he's saying. (I was a noob once, too. I know what I'm talking about. Before I went and did anything anywhere on the Internet, I ASKED people how to do it. I didn't just randomly do fucked up shit all over. Mostly. *ahem*) So I say: I love how much faith you have in the users of this forum. To which he replies: Oh, are you trying to say that people on this forum are stupid? And I retort: I'm so not limiting it to this forum.

I got a surprise B yesterday in Syntax of phrase. The professor showed me my exam and I involuntarily went: Whoa! I was actually afraid I might fail. So the professor asks: Surprised? And I say: Totally. I was mostly going on a hunch here. Which, in retrospect, probably wasn't the smartest thing to say, but what the hell.

On Tuesday I had some sort of exam on that renaissance poem thing. We had to answer one question in writing and then add to it orally if it wasn't enough. So I answered the question, but not completely and my grade was leaning more to a B than to an A, and she asked me to tell her what happens in the introduction to the poem. And I haven't exactly read the poem. *ahem* But I read the other one that has pretty much the identical introduction, so I start rambling about this Gypsy that had lost all of her children except this last son, and how she complains about him, and I say: But this remaining one wasn't all that. and the professor bursts out laughing, repeats: Wasn't all that? and gives me an A. Turns out, this year the way to good grades is turning off any filter I might have.

Tonight I'm going to see My Bloody Valentine. Yes, yes, I said it already, but I haven't said I'm a tad scared. I mean, I DON'T KNOW this girl at all. And as we were setting our "date" yesterday, she asked how we would recognise each other, so I sent her my picture, and then I asked: But how will I know you? And she goes: Oh don't worry, I know you now, so I'll approach you. *creepy music playing* Seriously, I heard creepy music playing in my head. Apparently, my life comes with a soundtrack.

I'm sick, sort of. My throat feels like it's been ploughed through. And not in a fun way. But my voice is all deep and sexy. Hah.

My funny valentine, sweet comic valentine

That's this Friday, people. That's Jensen Ackles. On big screen. In 3-D. Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Kud bih s tobom, osim u teatar?

Holy freakin' shit, Kauboji was as awesome as the first time I saw them, only better because I was closer and Živko was right there in front of me. *sigh*

But a month ago I saw what has to be the worst play ever. Seeing how it was a class requirement, we're supposed to write a review. And so I did. In Croatian. I don't have the time to translate it now, but maybe I'll do it at some point tomorrow or later this week. Anyway, I'm sure some of my readers would appreciate some quality bashing so here you are:

Šokirana Šokicom

Najnovije uprizorenje igrokaza Šokica Ilije Okrugića ponajprije je veliko razočarenje. U pitanju je možda najgora predstava koju sam imala prilike vidjeti. Nekoliko je razloga za ovakav moj doživljaj predstave.

U kazalište sam došla s predznanjem o značajkama hrvatskog romantizma uopće te drame istog razdoblja. Upozoreni smo da obratimo pažnju na pojavu poznatih nam elemenata u predstavi. Zadatak nije bio nimalo lak budući da se romantizam u predstavi pronalazi tek u tragovima.

Tema je, naravno, zabranjena ljubav prožeta domoljubljem, tako tipična tema onodobne drame. Ovaj put je u pitanju bila zabranjena ljubav dvoje mladih različitih vjeroispovijesti, katolkinje i pravoslavca, uklopljena u prizore ratnog stradanja koji imaju zadaću doprinijeti tragici priče. Kao da izvanbračna trudnoća i prisilno razdvajanje nesretnog para nisu dovoljno patetični sami po sebi.

Sljedeći element romantizma koji upada u oči jest namjera predstave da prosvijetli publiku, da ju nečemu poduči. Opet, posve tipično za romantizam. Nažalost, to je izvedeno nadasve nespretno, gotovo grubo. Glumci se obraćaju direktno publici i govore joj o razdoblju u kojem se priča odvija te što će se dogoditi, kako na početku, tako i tijekom pa i na samom kraju predstave. Čini se da se time htjela postići komika, no smatram da je krajnji rezultat nešto posve drugo: narušen je kontinuitet priče i, kao najgore od svega, posve je izgubljena bilo kakva ozbiljnost izvedbe. Teško mi je zamisliti da bi autor to odobrio.

Osim općeg izmirenja zavađenih strana nad mrtvim tijelima dvoje nesretnih ljubavnika, to bi bilo sve od viđenih elemenata romantizma.

Velika zamjerka predstavi svakako je i izbor glumaca. Sandra Lončarić (Janja) i Mario Rade (Božo) jednostavno su prestari, posebice u odnosu na Vjekoslava Jankovića (Pero). Možda bi se to dalo i zanemariti da im izvedbe nisu bile toliko nenadahnute, toliko lišene života da je bilo upravo naporno gledati ih kako se spotiču preko svojih rečenica.

Ne mogu se nazvati kazališnim stručnjakom, ali smatram da je režija bila izrazito loša. Koja god da je namjera redatelja Dražena Ferenčine bila, čini mi se da nije ostvarena. Imam dojam da se nije mogao odlučiti želi li prikazati priču u tradicionalnom obliku ili ju modernizirati. Ako je htio unijeti svježinu i novost u priču, zašto su onda kostimi toliko nalik izvornim nošnjama, nimalo stilizirani i modernizirani? A ako je htio zadržati izvorni duh drame, čemu onda već spomenuto direktno obraćanje publici i moderna glazba (da spomenem samo Brothers in Arms Dire Straitsa kao glazbenu kulisu rata)? Povrh svega, u cijeli taj miš-maš stilova i razdoblja, ubačeno je i kazalište sjena.

Teško je reći koja je svrha ovog uprizorenja Šokice. Znam samo da se publika u kazalištu komešala u stolicama, a vjerujem i da se Ilija Okrugić okretao u grobu. Potpuni promašaj predstave prepoznali su čak i osmoškolci koji su loš doživljaj upotpunili svojim upadicama koje su dobacivali glumcima, za što ih nimalo ne krivim.

In other news, I was completely shocked today when Tajana and I got a B on our oral report on "Female Writing". Three other today's reports were all graded with Ds. Not that I'm complaining or anything, I just think the professor was rather unfair. It was just... uncomfortable to be there.

You guys, it's so fucking cold here! I want to cry when I think about going out in the cold. I want summer back! Heat'n'sweat, that's my thing. This snowy, icy, frosty crap, I'm so not cut out for.

I finished listening to the fourth and final (so far) part of the Twilight series and I think... God help me, I think I miss it already. The lulz that it brought was fantastic! Can you recommend equally crappy audiobooks for my listening pleasure chagrin? I also saw the movie and OMG, how horrible is its score? I don't think I've ever heard worse music in a film. It almost drowned the awfulness that the acting of the ~stars~ was. Almost.

I found a Croatian fan of Supernatural on LJ by pure accident. And she (*squee*) is from OSIJEK! And she's two years older than me, not some fangirling 14 year old! AND we are supposed to go see My Bloody Valentine together! She, just like me, needs a hand-holder while watching a horror film. And if that goes well, maybe we'll go see Friday 13th together as well. You guys, I am so excited about meeting another Supernatural fan in real life! There's no one in my life to share that with, no one. But now, now there might be. *flails* Also, my boys are returning to TV this Thursday! *flails more* Oh, life. You suck mostly, but on occasion you reedem yourself.

As I dream about movies they won't make of me when I'm dead...

...I cannot be anything but grateful. Why? Because the last two weeks have been the weeks of bad, awful and worse movies for me. What the hell is going on with the movie industry? OK, OK, there must be good movies out there, I just managed to miss them all somehow. But anyway. Reviews.

The Women
I cannot fucking believe I paid money to see that. First of all, what the hell was that movie even about? No, really. Except for, like, a lot of women running around and yapping to each other. The message of the movie is not that behind every successful women there are her friends. Nuh-uh. I'm not even sure there is a message, but here's what I got out of the pile of crap this was: when your husband cheats on you, don't divorce him! No, you go and change yourself. After all, it must be your fault that he cheated, so you better go and work on improving yourself, mmkay? You go out, let his mistress humiliate you in public, then decide you have to beat her at this game, because clearly, your husband is a catch, and then when you're someone completely different and he's intrigued and wants you back (most likely till he meets someone new again), you go and take him back right away, beacuse, OH NO!, he might change his mind. SERIOUSLY.

The Christmas Cottage
Starring Jared Padalecki of the Gilmore Girls and Supernatural, Oscar winners Marcia Gay Harden and Peter O'Toole, and a bunch of anonymous people. OK, fine, I saw it for Jared and thank God he's as hot as he is because I don't remember a movie as boring as this one. I don't even know what that is about. So he paints and his mother has debts and his old neighbour looks as if he's about to drop dead any second now and there's a Christmas pageant to be held. Believe it or not, this summary of mine makes more sense than the movie itself. Two hours of my life I'll never get back.

Ten Inch Hero
Starring Jensen Ackles of Supernatural, Danneel Elta Harris of One Tree Hill, Clea DuVall of Heroes and some other things, Sean Patrick Flannery who was the young Indiana Jones, hello!, and a bunch of anonymous people, one of which is One Tree Hill's Peyton's creepy fake brother Derek. Anyway. All of these people are, like, outcasts. They're different. Jensen is very original because he wears this mohawk in different colours every day and that's, you know, alternative. Elta is a whore. A slut, if you will. Clea has this online life but she's not pretty so she's shy and stuff. Sean Patrick Flannery... well, he's got a nice torso there. Anyway, they're all weird and stuff, but then they all completely change their personalities and become regular sheep and that's when they find true loves and eternal happiness and, I dunno, reach nirvana or something. See, the point is that none of us really wants to stand out. No, what we really need to be happy and feel like we belong or some shit like that, is to be exactly like everyone else. So go out there and be conformists. Because Ten Inch Hero told you to.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Starring Rory Gilmore of Gilmore Girls, Ugly Betty of Ugly Betty, Joan of Arcadia of Joan of Arcadia and some generic blonde, you know the type, dime a dozen. So this one... this one's really something. They buy these pants, okay, and the pants are magical. The pants, and we're talking one pair here, fit all of them. I'm sensing they actually used four different pairs, but that just me. Naturally, it's summer and they all go to different parts of world and then they each wear pants for a week and then pass them on. Sounds ew, right? Especially because there's a rule that pants mustn't be washed at all. Luckily, no one got their period unexpectedly while wearing them. So there are dead parents, and dead kids, and first loves, and Greek islands, and Mexico, and tennis, and videogames, and OH MY GOD, WHY DID I WATCH THAT?!!!

I am so looking forward to watching Burn After Reading. My brain could certainly use some resuscitating.

Or Should I Say Vagblocking?*

I'm trying to go over the new Kings of Leon's album but every time I start listening to music, my sister decides it's TV watching time. So I like Sex On Fire and Use Somebody so far, but I never got to the second half of the album.

I also tried to watch Wanted today but remember my family that is at home this week? Well. They then decided it was just the time to do a great autumn cleaning of our room. You should know that when I say they, I mean my Mother and my sister (That film cannot be that important! Uh... Excuse me but James McAvoy? Is important.). They also made my Dad do stuff. He's making a closet for the hallway and then he's gonna have to paint it. The hallway not the closet. Except that he's also gonna have to paint the old hallway closet and move it to their bedroom.

You know that feeling when you have no plans for the day but you wake up at 7am anyway and then, having realised you've got nothing to get up for, you just roll over and continue sleeping? Mmmm yes. Except no. Because my parents tend to get up a little after 7 and then have loud conversations over coffee. Combine that with a tiny house made of paper-thin walls and you get me up at 7.30. And the best part: the surprise on my Mom's face accompanying the sentence: Why are you up so early?!

But then again, maybe it's not them. Maybe I get up at 7.30 because I go to sleep at 10.30. Now, why would I be doing that when I have nothing to get up for? Because I had to promise I'll be turning the PC off when my sister goes to sleep. And that's early. It also explains my sudden disappearances from chats. And you know, I made my peace with my family cockblocking (or should I say vagblocking?) my private life in reality, but to be depriving me of my virtual life as well?! Seriously.

*No, you're not crazy. The title has got nothing to do with the post.

Bits'n'Pieces

An unknown person just sent me a friends request on Facebook. It's a girl from NY with a vaguely Croatian surname. Now, I know there are people who like to add random people from the countries their parents came from, but my question is WHY??! Hopefully, I'll find out soon enough because I sent her a message saying: Why do you want to add me when I don't know who you are?

I got a random period. Random because my last period came on August 25. Notice the problem. Randomly bleeding from my vajayjay every 10 days is not agood sign. Sure it's been known to happen, but it's usually a sign of great stress in my case. And here I was thinking I was happy.

On Monday I saw Mamma Mia! with Sonja. It was FABULOUS! OMG the movie is so lame, it has pretty much no story whatsoever, and most of the actors (apart form the girl who plays, well, the girl) can't sing to save their lives. Yet, it's AWESOME! So colourful, so shiny, sparkly, glittery, psychodelic, singing, loud, funny, hilarious, absurd, pointless! And on top of it all - Colin Firth is gay! LOLOLOLOLOLOL I had an awesome time. But then, I like ABBA so maybe that's that.
Before the movie we went to dinner in a restaurant where students can use their cards when they eat. Then Sonja told me students get a discount on theatre tickets as well. LOL So all in all, grilled calamari, french fries, grilled mushrooms, a bottle of Coke and a movie ticket came out to HRK28,50 ($5,62)!!!!!!!! Yeah, that's cheap even here. So next time you're in town, dinner's on me.

Holy Shit.

Have you seen James McAvoy's BODY in Wanted? Have you?
Cuz... Oh. My. God.


I've loved him for his talent. Now I love him for his torso.
Who knew one gets shallower with time.

P.S. I Love You

Went to the movies. I have three words: Jeffrey. Dean. Morgan. P.S. NAKED. lol

JRM

Why I miss The Tudors...

Source

So last night I saw "Prozac Nation". At first I was only gonna watch it for JRM but then Christina Ricci's character, Lizzie, turned out to be a lot like me. In fact, some things she was saying were spot on of how I felt these last few days. So instead of trying to pass the emotions myself, I'll just use her words.

I'm falling. I don't really have anything original to say. Writing can't save me. How can I escape from the demons in my head?

Hemingway has his classic moment in "The Sun Also Rises" when someone asks Mike Campbell how he went bankrupt. All he can say is, "Gradually, then suddenly."
That's how depression hits.
You wake up one morning afraid that you're going to live.

Mom, this has nothing to do with you, I mean it's nothing you've done.

I want to explain to Noah how exhausted I am, even in my dreams. How I wake up tired, how I'm being drowned by some kind of black wave.
But I can't write.
And he doesn't really want to know about it, anyway.

I just keep thinking that if I could just be normal...

And then there was this convo between Lizzie and Ruby, her friend.

R: Lizzie, when we're together you're fine, you're fun, you're...
L: I'm faking it.
R: Well, everybody does that.
L: Not like me.
R: Look, we all have bad days...
L (thinks): This is what people say in situations when they don't know what else to say.
R: People care about you, Lizzie.
L (thinks): What I want is for someone to understand, but they don't really. And that makes the platitudes harder to bear.
R: They do, people want to help, all right? I want to help you, but I don't know what to do. Lizzie, I don't know what to say
L (thinks): How about, "Shit. Call in the professionals."

Impossible

Mom: What kind of a film is that "No Country For Old Men"?
Me: Coenish.
Mom: You're impossible to talk to.
Me: *shrug*

This & That

It's been how long since I last posted? Yeah, long.
And in the mean time what has happened? Nothing, as far as I know.
I studied. I spent a LOT of time on Facebook. I saw a few films. Some I liked. Some was so incredibly dumb that I'm glad I only saw them cuz my sister was watching them and I happened to be in the room or I'd be dead embarrassed for my poor choice in films. But I'll get back to that.
Maja came back from hospital and we went to see her and she's doing awesome, walking and sitting. Doesn't sound like much, I know, but it is. I instructed her brother to practice crossing the street with her. I don't think she appreciated my humour at that particular moment but she will eventually. Right?
OK, films. Let's start with the crap. The Village. OMG. Just so you know, who ever recommended it when I asked for some thriller/horror films for my sister, my sister hates you right now. And she thinks your taste in films sucks monkey balls. There. In your face. Oh and I'm with her. Worst. Crap. Ever. Except for Borat. Nothing beats Borat in crapness.
I also saw Elizabeth: The Golden Age. OK, how hot is Clive Owen? I thought he was rather fine the first time I saw him in Second Sight but damn, he's got like 20 times better since then. The film itself was OK, I liked the first one better though.
The Jane Austen Book Club was lovely. A nice chick flick, better than the book really, and how often does one get to say that? And Hugh Dancy is just adorable. Seriously.
But now we come to the good part. The Man From Earth. Oh. My. God. It was recommended to me by two very different people in two days so I had to see it and it is really really good. Different. It takes place in one room mostly (they do occasionally step out in front of the house) and it's about a man who claims he's 14 000 years old. And he tells his story. I know it sounds not particularly interesting but it really is. But you gotta see it for yourself. No, really. You gotta see it.
Next in line is The Assassination of Jesse James. I'm sure you'll be hearing about it. From me, that is. I'm sure you've heard of it elsewhere.
In other news, my dog had a close encounter with a hedgehog again. Once again he carried it around in his mouth, rolled it across the lawn and barked at it. Hedgehog did not appreciate it. Then my Dad tried to steal the hedgehog with a shovel while I held Ferdo down. And now he hates us both. Because of that or because we were trying to drop some eye drops into his eyes (unrelated incident, I assure you). A friendly warning: do not try to approach my dog while carrying a bottle of eye drops any time soon.

I Blame Disney

A 10 year old boy died a few days ago. Why? Because he ate some chocolate. The chocolate contained hazelnuts to which he was apparently allergic. And he knew that. He knew he wasn't supposed to eat hazelnuts and so did his entire class. In fact, his classmates tried to stop him from eating it by reminding him, in case he's forgotten, about him being allergic to hazelnuts. But did he listen? No. He said his mother allowed him to eat them. Somehow, I doubt that. I highly doubt his mother said it was OK for him to eat something that might actually kill him. And it's not that he was only 10 years old and didn't know any better. If that was so, how did all the other kids know he shouldn't eat the chocolate? They are 10 as well. It's not that 10 year olds are unreasonable. It's just that they don't listen to their parents any more.

I watched The Little Mermaid today again. I'm sure you're familiar with the story: a stubborn teenage mermaid does what ever she wants, disobeys her father, almost causes the deaths of herself and her prince, and it all ends with a happy end. Right? Actually, wrong. That's not how the story originally ended. See, the original story, the one by Hans Christian Andersen, doesn't end with a happy end. The little mermaid doesn't get the love of her life nor is she allowed to go back to her family. No, she dies. She didn't listen to the older and the wiser and she died. Children were able to learn from that story back in the day. And what do they learn today? That no matter what they do, it's OK, there's a happy end awaiting. But that's just not how life is. I blame Disney for selling fairy tales to kids. Life is not a fairy tale. And sometimes, not even a fairy tale is a fairy tale.

Happy with what she's done? Not so much.

Fracture

I just saw Fracture. You know how there are films you really wanna see and then you finally get to and you're left with that feeling of disappointment and you think to yourself: Is that it? Ha. OK.
Well, this wasn't one of those, luckily. I really liked it. What can I say, I like me a trial story.
Ryan Gosling... My God. How awesome is he? In The Notebook you gotta love him cuz he's just... a man. A man you can love. And then here... He's just... How can I explain it? Real. Like, not a film character but a real guy, with real gestures and without witty comebacks to everything everyone has to say. There are times when he just goes OK. or Right. cuz there's nothing more he can say, he doesn't always outwit the other guy. And then when he leans his head on his hand or grabs his face with it... You know who else does that? Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black and especially in Mexican. I like that. OK, I probably make little sense if any but maybe, just maybe you know what I mean. I like it when an actor makes a character seem alive and real. And Ryan Gosling certainly does.
Unlike Anthony Hopkins who just makes them creepy and waxy. Like wax statues. Oh and have you noticed how he never changes his accent? No matter who he plays, what nationality, what race *coughhumanstaincough*, his accent is always the same. That bugs me.
But yeah, Fracture I recommend. If you're into that type of films.

Happy New Year!

I spent New Year's Eve watching "The Return of the King" and chatting with WFW and Doc. And it went something like this:

31.12.2007 22:55:47 Kris frodo's letting go of ring
31.12.2007 22:55:55 WFW yes he is
31.12.2007 22:56:00 Kris nope
31.12.2007 22:56:04 Kris changed his mind
31.12.2007 22:56:14 Doc stoopid Frodo!
31.12.2007 22:56:18 Doc i hated him!
31.12.2007 22:56:23 Kris putting it on!!!
31.12.2007 22:57:26 Kris Gollum took the ring! oh no!
31.12.2007 22:57:36 Kris He ate Frodo's finger!
31.12.2007 22:57:49 Kris What will happen? What??!
31.12.2007 22:57:50 Doc Frodo finger food!
31.12.2007 22:57:58 Kris Ahahahhahahhaahhahaahhahahhaha!
31.12.2007 22:58:00 Doc lamo@Brat
31.12.2007 22:58:08 WFW LMAO
31.12.2007 22:58:10 Doc hmm hmm good
31.12.2007 22:58:14 WFW Thanks for the play by play
31.12.2007 22:58:23 Kris Die, bitch, die!!!
31.12.2007 22:58:35 Kris mmm Aragorn kicks ass!
31.12.2007 22:58:47 Kris Goluum falling down in slow motion!
31.12.2007 22:58:50 WFW *happy sigh*
31.12.2007 22:58:51 Kris The world is saved!
31.12.2007 22:59:00 Kris (Reminds me a lot of terminator 2)
31.12.2007 22:59:30 Kris The ring melting... much like Arnie...
31.12.2007 22:59:42 Kris Sam saving the love of his life...
31.12.2007 22:59:47 Kris Who said that??
31.12.2007 22:59:53 Kris FRIEND, I meant FRIEND!
31.12.2007 23:00:03 Kris Eye dies in terrible pain!
31.12.2007 23:00:13 Kris REJOICE!
31.12.2007 23:00:36 Doc fun way to watch LOTR
31.12.2007 23:00:41 Doc thanks Kris
31.12.2007 23:00:51 Kris Like listening to radio-drama
31.12.2007 23:01:03 WFW LMAO
31.12.2007 23:01:06 Kris KA-BOOM!
31.12.2007 23:01:13 Doc good ol' time
31.12.2007 23:01:35 Kris yay
31.12.2007 23:01:42 Kris all explodes
31.12.2007 23:01:44 Kris the end
31.12.2007 23:02:01 Kris except now they're gonna be ending it for half an hour
31.12.2007 23:02:10 Doc lol
31.12.2007 23:02:15 WFW THAT IS NOT THE END!
31.12.2007 23:02:21 Doc hahahahahahahha
31.12.2007 23:02:29 Doc Kris is a movie editor
31.12.2007 23:02:35 WFW Apparently
31.12.2007 23:02:43 Doc cut the crap out and keep the goodies
31.12.2007 23:02:46 Kris IT'S DONE, says frodo.
31.12.2007 23:02:52 Kris It's over now, says Sam.
31.12.2007 23:02:57 Kris THE FUCKING END
31.12.2007 23:03:00 WFW LMAO
31.12.2007 23:03:01 Kris Jackson fucked it
31.12.2007 23:03:06 WFW NOT THE END BEEYOTCH!
31.12.2007 23:03:10 Doc Chris Daughtry says it's not over
31.12.2007 23:03:16 WFW It ended just as it was supposed to
31.12.2007 23:03:16 Kris Mmm Daughtry.
31.12.2007 23:03:25 WFW If it had ended there, people would have been pissed
31.12.2007 23:03:29 WFW me included
31.12.2007 23:03:33 Kris Gandalf's fireworks!, says frodo
31.12.2007 23:03:36 Doc I WOULD'VE BEEN PISSED
31.12.2007 23:03:43 Kris Gandald celebrates new year too
31.12.2007 23:03:46 Kris apparently
31.12.2007 23:03:48 WFW Rosie Cotton dancin...
31.12.2007 23:03:49 Doc hahahahha
31.12.2007 23:04:03 Kris Frodo hugs Sam.
31.12.2007 23:04:05 WFW That's when I started to cry
31.12.2007 23:04:09 Kris sex scene edited out
31.12.2007 23:04:20 Doc where's the sex!
31.12.2007 23:04:28 Doc where's the love!
31.12.2007 23:04:29 Kris wait for director's cut, x rated
31.12.2007 23:04:33 WFW Rosie Cotton dancin...If ever I were to marry someone, it would've been her. It would've been her!
31.12.2007 23:04:36 WFW *cries*
31.12.2007 23:04:47 WFW Do not taint my hobbits
31.12.2007 23:04:47 Kris Sam's gay, cut it out
31.12.2007 23:04:54 WFW they are STRAIGHT!
31.12.2007 23:05:02 Kris not to mention MERRY and PIPPIN
31.12.2007 23:05:05 Doc HA HA HA HA H AH AHAHA
31.12.2007 23:05:06 WFW I won't be able to watch the movie anymore if they are gay!
31.12.2007 23:05:09 WFW It will ruin it!
31.12.2007 23:05:10 Kris Merry means GAY for fucks sake
31.12.2007 23:05:13 WFW Nooooooooooooo
31.12.2007 23:05:16 Doc GAY LOTR
31.12.2007 23:05:19 WFW hobbits are straight!
31.12.2007 23:05:24 Kris Big Bird carries frodo
31.12.2007 23:05:30 Kris yes, the sesame street's big bird
31.12.2007 23:05:31 WFW LMAO
31.12.2007 23:05:34 WFW Big Bird
31.12.2007 23:05:38 WFW ahahahahahaha
31.12.2007 23:05:44 WFW Are you watching the high version?
31.12.2007 23:05:50 Kris they ran out of puppets
31.12.2007 23:05:53 Kris borrowed a few
31.12.2007 23:05:55 WFW We should be Skyping
31.12.2007 23:05:55 Doc what sex scene do you think they cut out?
31.12.2007 23:06:03 WFW so we can talk to each other, lol
31.12.2007 23:06:07 Kris we should be, honey, we should be
31.12.2007 23:06:15 Doc <== no skype
31.12.2007 23:06:25 WFW I want to hear drunk Kris try to speak English, lol
31.12.2007 23:06:31 Doc hahahahahaha
31.12.2007 23:06:32 Kris Merry and pippin jumping into bed with frodo!
31.12.2007 23:06:36 Kris A-HA!
31.12.2007 23:06:40 Doc hahahahahahahaha
31.12.2007 23:06:46 Kris Not making it up!
31.12.2007 23:06:48 WFW Words slurring
31.12.2007 23:06:54 WFW They did!
31.12.2007 23:06:54 Kris And gandalf, old perv, is watchg!
31.12.2007 23:06:58 WFW They jumped in!
31.12.2007 23:06:58 Doc i'm sure it's hot
31.12.2007 23:07:06 WFW lol
31.12.2007 23:07:08 Kris now legolas and aragorn come and join
31.12.2007 23:09:23 Kris Aragorn sings a gay song.
31.12.2007 23:10:29 Kris Arwen comes.
31.12.2007 23:10:37 WFW ahahahahaahha
31.12.2007 23:10:37 Kris Accompanied by only ONE agent Smith.
31.12.2007 23:10:44 WFW are we still commentating?
31.12.2007 23:10:47 Kris Easy to take, just one.
31.12.2007 23:10:48 WFW LMFAO
31.12.2007 23:11:01 WFW When I saw him in the first one I couldn't stop giggling for a while
31.12.2007 23:11:07 Kris hahahahahhahaha
31.12.2007 23:11:17 WFW and I was in the THEATER
31.12.2007 23:11:20 WFW ahahahahahahahahaa
31.12.2007 23:11:22 Kris AHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH!
31.12.2007 23:11:31 WFW "It's Smith! Ahahahahahaha!"
31.12.2007 23:11:31 Kris Gay hobbits bow like one.
31.12.2007 23:11:35 WFW I had to compose myself
31.12.2007 23:11:45 Kris An aragorn says: YOU BOW TO NO ONE!
31.12.2007 23:11:59 Kris (cuz someone might jump 'em from behind)
31.12.2007 23:12:03 Kris So obviously gay.
31.12.2007 23:12:08 WFW lol
31.12.2007 23:12:15 Kris Frodo cries like a girl.
31.12.2007 23:12:17 Kris The end.
31.12.2007 23:12:25 WFW not quite
31.12.2007 23:12:31 WFW and it's more Sam crying like a bitch
31.12.2007 23:12:33 Kris OMG! IT. NEVER. ENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
31.12.2007 23:12:38 WFW ahahahahahahahaah
31.12.2007 23:14:41 Kris HA! Sam marries cover chick.
31.12.2007 23:15:09 Kris And Pippin The Gay catches the flowers!
31.12.2007 23:15:40 WFW ahahahaahahaha
31.12.2007 23:15:46 WFW PIPPIN THE GAY?
31.12.2007 23:15:49 Kris not making stuff up.
31.12.2007 23:15:52 Kris just ...
31.12.2007 23:15:55 Kris interpreting it
31.12.2007 23:16:02 Kris sp??
31.12.2007 23:16:09 WFW ahahahahahahahah
31.12.2007 23:16:09 Kris Pippin the gay
31.12.2007 23:16:11 WFW no
31.12.2007 23:16:16 WFW just that you called him that
31.12.2007 23:16:18 WFW lol
31.12.2007 23:16:21 WFW poor hobbits
31.12.2007 23:16:47 Kris and I'm not even drunk
31.12.2007 23:16:58 Kris Imagine me high watching it for real
31.12.2007 23:17:11 WFW LMAO
31.12.2007 23:17:14 WFW I can!
31.12.2007 23:17:28 Kris hahhahaha
31.12.2007 23:18:30 Kris Bilbo leaves.
31.12.2007 23:19:10 WFW Oh see I was wrong before then
31.12.2007 23:19:15 Kris Is it end ALREADY? NOOOOO!
31.12.2007 23:19:17 WFW Sam is going to cry like a bitch SOON
31.12.2007 23:19:20 WFW but not yet
31.12.2007 23:19:23 WFW Nope, not over
31.12.2007 23:19:32 WFW Damn you, you will not bad mouth LOTR!
31.12.2007 23:19:40 Kris Who's bad mouthig it?
31.12.2007 23:19:48 Kris I BROUGHT it to you!
31.12.2007 23:19:51 Kris via MSN!
31.12.2007 23:20:17 WFW You're right
31.12.2007 23:20:20 WFW Thank you Krissie
31.12.2007 23:20:22 WFW thank you
31.12.2007 23:20:25 Kris Youre welcome.
31.12.2007 23:20:31 Kris I do what i can.
31.12.2007 23:20:34 Kris As always.
31.12.2007 23:20:40 WFW I know you do
31.12.2007 23:20:45 Kris Sam tearing up...
31.12.2007 23:20:53 Kris So far like agirl...
31.12.2007 23:21:06 Kris Turning into a bitch any second now...
31.12.2007 23:21:17 Kris Merry cries but he's openly gay
31.12.2007 23:21:33 Kris Hugs frodo with one arm and cups him with other
31.12.2007 23:22:38 Kris Frodo kisses Sam. Case closed.
31.12.2007 23:33:54 Kris aaaaaaand LOTR ENDS!
31.12.2007 23:33:58 Kris NOOOW!
31.12.2007 23:34:00 WFW LMAO

Pre-Birthday Blues

Yesterday at the market, I saw a couple holding hands... and I realized we'll never do that. Never anything like it. No picnics or unguarded smiles. No rings. Just... stolen moments that leave too quickly.

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

And sometimes I just need that. When they mean no harm, yet cause the pain. When I need someone, yet am alone. Now.
Watch it when you need it. It's beautiful.