Tuesday Nothings

I went to see Harry Potter again last night. Sister and bf were going so I kinda tagged along. So my sister says she's paying for the tickets and I get in the line... well, there was only one person in front of me, so I suppose I get in the pair and this woman gets into some kind of a mix-up with a ticket she won but it wasn't for yesterday but for today and she leaves and somehow I end up with a free ticket. So yaay. Well, my sister ends up paying for two instead of three tickets. This kinda things never happen to me so I was really excited about it. And the crowd was much smaller so the entire experience of watching the movie was much more enjoyable than the first time. Also, this time my company didn't abandon me in the theatre like the last time so I had my sister to comment with. (I'm not an annoying commenter - I only do it a few times and always as quiet as possible). So at the beginning of the movie when harry is fighting of dementors I say: "Didn't he grow up?" and my sister, God bless her, says: "Mhm. He's fine..." Good., So it's not just me then. And this time I was prepared for the sweating scenes and I have to say, they were even better! Uwwwkay, enough with the sick.
Soo... Pizza party on Saturday. Dunno. There should be more people than at the BBQ party and you know me - crowd-a-phobic. Like this Saturday when there were also this unknown people and I basically kept my mouth shut the whole time. And then this girl asks me why I have singled myself out. Uhm... cuz I don't know half of these people... So this Saturday some of this people should come too and it's just... I don't know... overwhelming. I mean, Trap was with his bf and sister and almost didn't say a word to me. This other girl had three friends with her that I have never seen in my life and I just can't deal with unknown people. And it's not like I have some new clothes to wear. Anyway, Saturday is days away.

Sunday Blabber

I did go out last night. It was OK. I really can't say anything more than that. I wore my dress and I loved how it was floating around me but then there was this stoopid wind then the floating kinda got outta control... lol

This is me trying to hold the dress down.

The concert lasted a little over two hours but since none of us is really a fan, we also wandered around the centre of the city. Then at the end of the concert, some guy got up on the stage and proposed to his girlfriend. Now, some might say it was romantic. I personally would kill anyone who'd put me on the spot like that. So embarrassing! What do you think?
Then we went back to my village because I told them we had great hamburgers here and it was only fair if they tasted them then. Then I wanted to go home since I was basically home and I was already kinda sleepy but they talked me into returning. I wish they didn't and I'm pretty sure so do they. lol Then I was only bored and sleepy and cold. And I whined about going home until they took me. I said that should teach them not to ask me to go out with them again, but they just said they'd make it a regular thing until they train me into staying out till 5am. lol Btw, I got home at 3am. That's one hell of a long night out for me.

My Celeb Crushes History

I admit it, I saw Bel's blog with all those yummie men so I figured, why the hell not! So there they are, my movie and TV crushes! If you like any of them, fell free to drool. If you don't, I guess you're square heads fans then. lol


1. Brad Pitt - I was 14 and I had a friend who was crazy about Tom Cruise so we went to see Interview with the Vampire. And there he was, so beautiful. It was Tom who??! for me. It still lasts, I still like him.

2. Leonardo DiCaprio - What can say? Jack Dawson swept me off my feet! I was into him for a while but then I totally got over it. Then not so long ago I saw The Departed. Well, it seems that Leo has grown up and my my, growing up agrees with him! lol

3. Ryan Phillippe - Funny thing, one sees a movie cuz Sarah Michelle Gellar is in it and ends up having a crush on Ryan. What, that didn't happen to you? Really? How about after 54? Playing by Heart? Nothing? Well, I think he's just too cute.

4. David Boreanaz - That guy had me at... whatever was the first scene he showed up in Buffy. I am such a sucker for a good love story and Buffy and Angel's is one of the best ones ever, IMHO. All that brooding and suffering and turning evil worked for me. Worked for me gewwwd...

5. Jack Bauer - No, I'm not confused here. Kiefer Sutherland is so not who I have a crush on, it's all Jack, people. Seriously, this guy rocks! If there was ever a hero's hero, that's him. And no one kicks ass like Jack Bauer!

6. Chad Michael Murray - I loved him as Tristan in Gilmore Girls... Remember the scene when Tristan kisses Rory by the piano? *sigh* Then he returned older and improved in One Tree Hill and I pretty much watch it cuz of his lips. Lips and the way clothes looks on him. I like that.

7. Patrick Dempsey - I noticed him long time ago when he played young JFK in some mini-series but he wasn't around all that much. Now he's back and he just rocks those scrubs! Even though he's a bit of a bastard, I still like him. He's dorky hot, my favourite kinda hot.

8. Michael Vartan-I watch Alias for one reason and one reason only. He's it. I didn't particularly like him in anything else but I'm a sucker for heroes. lol

9. John Cusack - He's one of my all time favourite actors ever. Not steaming hot or anything but there's just something about his voice and those eyes and the way he rocks every part. Yeah, he's one of the good ones. Check him out in my fave movie High Fidelity or Grosse Pointe Blank or Con Air or Runaway Jury or Pushing Tin or... Whatever you choose, you won't go wrong.

10. Wentworth Miller - The Pretty. The one that tops all others. He's... Wentworth Miller. The perfect man.

Saturday Morning Blabber

I guess I'll be going out tonight. Lovely. I get to wear my dress. Yep, that is the sole thing that makes me happy about it. Oh OK, the good time might happen too. I'm open to it. To an extent.
Anyway, people on the forum ask me quite often why I am being so negative. Me - negative??! No way! lol I don't know what to tell them really. I mean, it's just how I am.
Uhm... nope, I've got nothing else.

Friday Blabber

First of all, I keep thinking it's Saturday all day long. But it's not. It's Friday. Friday night, to be precise. My sister and her bf went to the city. So she's getting ready and as she is all dressed, she goes: "Why don't you get ready and come with us?" Yeah, that's an invitation all right. And I say my hair isn't washed and I couldn't possibly. And she says: "But we're not going for at least a half an hour." Uh-huh. That's enough... NOT. And I actually kinda wanted to go. See, I've bought this orange dress and if I don't wear it soon, the summer will be over and it'll be too cold to wear it. Like, tomorrow. We were supposed to go to this concert on the main square (when I say we, I mean, BBQ bunch). And then few of them canceled for different reasons so we're not going. And even though at first I didn't really wanna go, the idea kinda grew on me cuz, you see, I've bought this dress... Well, I guess it's not meant to be. lol
So I'm home. Will end up watching TV, as usual. At least there are reruns of Sex and the City, it started last night. My all-time favourite scene is actually from the pilot. The one that goes:

Big : Oh, I get... You've never been in love.
Carrie : Wait... have you ever been in love?
Big : Abso-fucking-lutely!

Yes, I know I'm silly, there's just something about that character...
Other than fictional male characters, I hate men. No, really. Like right now, there's this guy that is giving hard time to a friend of mine. Don't you just hate those guys? I just want to grab them and shake them until they realise how great these girls (my friends) are and tell them they are fucking idiots if they don't see it. Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing I can do, all I can do is hate them for what they are doing. And yeah, I just won't allow that to happen to me again. I just won't. I'm so scared of having it gone wrong that I won't even try. Yes, I know how it sounds, but it is how it is. So fictional characters it is. Speaking of, reruns of Alias started today. Mmmm, Vaughn... The sole reason I watch this show.
Anyway, Doc said she'd be reading blogs later tonight so HI, DOC! I miss you lately, the longest time no chat. The Originals are not the same without you, even though yesterday SU joined us too! Yeah, she's alive and kicking and hating newbies as much as me, maybe even a bit more. lol So could you not work nights all the time, please? Hahaha. I know, I know... Well, hopefully we'll talk soon. Enjoy your night. xoxoxoxox
The same goes for the rest of you. I hope your weekend goes better than mine.

Wednesday Blabber

My aunt's surgery went well, my mom has spoken to her and now we can hope it all stays well.
My hair is wet and I don't feel like blow-drying it. I will, of course, hate myself in the morning because of that, but my notorious laziness usually prevails in cases such as this. You see, my hair has a very strong personality. It is very strong minded. I swear, it's alive and independent! And most of the times no matter what I do, I go to bed with somewhat normal, human hair, and wake up with a nest or a bush or an abstract wire statue on my head. One would think that cutting straight hair short would make it easier to control it but... one would be wrong.
I also butchered my chin. A zit on it, to be more precise. And it's not like I only made it bigger and redder. No... I actually managed to create a bruise out of it. It's purple now. Expecting it to be green by morning. Something to look forward to with the new sunrise. That and hours in the library. Ya-fucking-ay.
At least it's not 40°C anymore. It was around 30°C today for a (nice) change. So... uhm... let's be happy about that.
I had a fucking nightmare again. Featuring my stalker ex. The one I dreamt about not so long ago, the dream involving him and a donkey... Did I even blog about it? Never mind. So I dreamt of him again. Like, we were back together and he was at my place and all I could think about was how on Earth am I gonna break up with him again and why did I get myself into that one more time when I am clearly not in love with him nor do I wanna be with him. See, I have some common sense while dreaming too. If only I could get some good dreams though... Is a nice wet dream so much to ask for?! Yeah, I guess it is. It's stalker ex's and donkeys for me...
I finally saw "Little Miss Sunshine". I liked it all right but... I was so looking forward to watching a teenager who doesn't say a word through the whole movie and then I felt I was cheated on when the boy spoke like in the middle of it! And Dwayne... Isn't that like the ugliest, most white trash name ever? lol And another thing: stupid me obviously confused Alan with Adam Arkin and kept wondering how that guy could grow old so much... Now I realise those are two different guys. A mystery solved.

Scooter

No, I'm not talking about the horrible German dance group. lol What I mean is that my dad just bought a scooter. Now, I'm not gonna ride it. No way in hell I'm sitting on something that has two wheels, a motor and no frame whatsoever. It's like riding something that goes like 60km/h OUTSIDE of anything! It's an accident waiting to happen. I'm against motorcycles, no matter what size they come in. My sister, on the other hand, can't wait to get on it. That being said, here it is (it doesn't have the dumb box at the end though):
It's OK, though. We got a new TV for our room. And oh, almost forgot! They had to bring the scooter home immediately so mum had to sit in the back, facing the back of the car, with open trunk and keep an eye on the scooter so it wouldn't fall out! Damn, you should've seen it!

Sister And BF's Holiday Pictures

Isn't she the prettiest little thing? And aren't they a cute couple? They had a great time. And in case you were wondering: yes, that first picture is taken in the sea, not pool. That's how pretty our sea is.

Baby Boy Is Back!

I know most of you won't care one bit, but if you only knew for how long we have been waiting for him to reappear somewhere... After a long long drought season, he showed up in public again, looking beautiful as ever, wearing a perfect outfit (and that doesn't happen often, lol) and simply shining. Ladies and gentleman, Wentworth Miller!

source: First Church of Wentworth Miller

Monday Blabber

I'm still not over HP being over. It's so sad. Saying goodbye usually is. Yes, I know there are still two movies to be made but no more books... *tearing up* But I'll try not to talk about it anymore. Though I have started re-reading it, of course.
I'm going to the library soon. Stoopid old Cro lit. Soooo boring. Especially after reading Harry Potter. lol
It's still hot but not as the last few days. I bought a lovely orange dress, can't wait to wear it.
I played rummy with parents last night. I lost. lol
Fox got all weird asking me why I was avoiding him. Like, every time he gets online to greet me, I disappear. Yeah! It's all cuz of him cuz he is the ecntre of my life. Jeeez. Some people... They're organizing pizza-making-party now. The same BBQ crowd. Well, if 6 people is a crowd. Dunno if I'll go. Cuz truth to be told, I was kinda avoiding talking to him. He gets on my nerves sometimes. Just don't tell him, k? lol

The photos for the new ID are hideous! My hair is absolutely insane on them but what can I do? Well obviously, I could have taken a new picture but I didn't feel like it. I don't need the ID all that often anyway.
Well, this was one hell of a random blabber. That is all.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT THE BOOK TO BE RUINED FOR YOU - THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW THE PICTURE OF THE COVER.
There, you have been warned. I am so glad I haven't turned my computer on today because as soon as I did, there it was - the title that reveals the end! How can people be so incredibly cruel, I do not know. Not that I won't do the exact same thing and in much greater detail but at least I warned you. It took me about 16 hours with breaks to eat and go to bathroom, from 10am till 2am, to finish it but I did it. Once again:
¤
¤
¤
S¤P¤O¤I¤L¤E¤R¤S
¤
¤
¤
If you want to read it, highlight it!
I cried my eyes out. I can't even count the tissues. All the time I had the feeling I was saying goodbye to all of the characters that I got to know and love through the years. Probably because I was. Especially towards the end when so many of them showed up for he final battle, like Oliver Wood, Angelina Johnson and others. Then Krum at Bill and Fleur's wedding, and Percy who came and admitted he was a bloody fool... But I rush ahead of myself.
I was shocked with the first death because it came so soon and because it was Hedwig. I never would have thought J.K. would kill his owl. It didn't make me cry though. Nor did George's loss of ear make me cry. It did make me laugh when he said "'Ear, 'ear!" after Harry gave his speech. The first time I teared up was when Hermione accidentally broke Harry's wand. His trusty wand! A piece of my heart broke with it. I couldn't believe he was left unprotected, unarmed... And above all, Ron has deserted him! That was so wrong and I expected Ron to die because of this betrayal. Then later he returned and saved Harry's life and got the sword of Godryc Gryffindor so I guess he made amends.
The first time I actually cried out loud, so much that I had to go wash my face so I could see the letters, was when Dobby died. That brave unselfish elf, who never did anything but give his best to help Harry, finally laid his life for "Harry Potter Sir". And as Harry was digging a grave for his loyal friend, I cried. Poor poor Dobby... He will be remembered.
I know all I do is write about the deaths but they made me cry. I cried the most when Fred was killed. I was truly shocked. I honestly believed the Weasley children would not be harmed. Clearly, I was wrong. But I feared for Mrs. Weasley's life when she fought Bellatrix at the end. I was so relieved when Harry came to the rescue.
Snape... What to say? To find out at the end that all this time he indeed was on Dumbledore's side... I don't know what to think about that. Nor about the revelation of his and Lily's childhood friendship. Does the fact that all he ever tried to do was to protect Lily's son redeem him? I don't know. Harry naming his son after him says it does. Must I say that he married Ginny? And on that note, Ron and Hermione also got married.
Lupin and Tonks got a baby boy just to die in the final battle. Again, tears. That shook me. It reminded me so much of Harry and his parents. Although it's a bit odd how Lupin's death wasn't even described, it only said that his and Tonks's body was in the Great Hall with the others. After all, he was an important character. But it was sweet when little Ted was born, Remus asked Harry to be his Godfather. That was amazing and so sad at the same time. At least he'll never be unloved, like Harry, Snape and Voldemort who all thought of Hogwarts as their only home. I'm wondering though whether Ted has inherited his father's condition...
When Harry was going through Snape's memories and saw Dumbledore saying that the boy had to die and that he had to be killed by Voldemort, I put down the book and almost didn't read anymore. Then I swallowed my tears and kept going. Luckily, because all is well that ends well.
Neville was such a wonderful surprise, fighting a lonely battle in the Hogwarts when there was no one left there but him, so brave that even his grandma was proud of him for once and told him he was his parents' son. I cried a little there too. Finally he cut Nagini's head off, so yaay Neville!
Some might argue that Voldemort's death was anticlimactic. In a way, yes. Using a spell that backfired one more time maybe wasn't as spectacular as it was expected but I actually loved it. When Harry used Expelliarmus, his "signature spell", as they call it, he once again proved he is a hero with the righteous heart. And as I see it, in the end what really killed Voldemort wasn't a backfired spell or Harry's skill but everything that Harry is, the sum of the love he was given by his parents, his friends, their faith in him and above all, his faith in himself and in believing that what he is doing was the right thing.
And maybe my favourite moment in the whole book is when Harry takes charge in Bill and Fleur's cottage. He's proud, determined, grown up - he's ready! and he proves it when the time comes.
And now it's all over, there will be no more and it feels like saying goodbye to a friend. J.K. Rowling, hats off to you and thank you for giving us this magical tale.
Goodbye, Harry Potter!


EDIT: Some Additional Answers

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - Review (kinda)

Holy motherfucking shit! Have you seen those close ups of Harry's neck and arms in bed??! Veiny! Sweaty! Oh. My. God. The boy is all grown up now, that's for sure. (He is 18, right? I'm not being a disgusting paedophile here, right?)

Anyway, it was definitely the best HP movie so far. Yes, they have butchered the book as they tend to do but they did it quite intelligently so I didn't mind. The story was coherent and it wasn't boring for a second. I loved Luna although she was somewhat more gentle than I'd expected. In the book she has a bit more attitude, I think. But lovely nevertheless. I really didn't like how they made it like Cho had betrayed Dumbledore's Army. That's just wrong. Again, I understand some compromises had to be done. I wonder what will happen with Ginny in the next movie. I mean, she still looks like a child and is supposed to be Harry's gf in the next part. It so won't work unless she grows up quickly because Harry is so grown up... mmmmm... tossing and turning and sweating and moaning... uhm... where was I? Oh yeah, I'm "reviewing" the movie, not my paedophilic fantasies. So... Dumbledore - I'm still missing the late one. This one just lacks emotions or something. Umbridge's costumes were absolutely amazing, just like I have been picturing them. And Imelda Staunton is IMHO a very good choice for the part. I hate Helena Bonham Carter though. Not that I think she's bad for the part, I just hate her in general, lol.
DIGRESSION: Mom just brought papers home and the first thing I see on the covers is "At midnight the answer: Who dies?". I FUCKING KNEW IT! Bastards will ruin Harry Potter for me! There will be spoilers all over the place. I could start crying right now. I hate the stupid world! Why, WHY would everyone want to ruin everything with spoilers? Fucking journalists and stupid people on the Internet!
Back to the movie. Snape was just as scary as in the first movie but maybe he's pushed it a bit too far. It wouldn't kill him to speak a lit-tle faster every now and then. The twins were cuter than usual - growing up suits these British kids, lol. Not Ron though, poor thing. Just unpretty. Too little McGonagall, too little Hagrid. The Ministry of Magic should have been much much brighter, I expected a golden glow. It was dark instead. WTF??! Voldemort... I don't know. He's just not scary. Never has been, IMO. That nose thing is just stupid. I don't know, he's just lame. Hermione is trying too hard, as always (I know I should say Emma Watson, but I won't). The testrals (sp??!) were awesome! Pretty much as I have imagined them! Especially the baby, so cute. Grawp is cuter than I expected too. I liked him. Almost no Malfoy jr. at all. Malfoy sr. instead - not that I mind, he's great, Jason Isaacs is hot (in real life, not with that hair).
I loved the moment when Dumbledore was fighting Voldemort and Harry curled on the floor. I wanted to take him in my arms and comfort him. Harry's soundless breakdown when Sirius died was a great moment too, with Lupin holding him...
A great movie, really. Go see it. Or don't, since I probably ruined it for you now.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

GOING! TONIGHT! IN AN HOUR! CAN'T WAIT! STOOD IN LINE FOR TICKETS FOR A HALF AN HOUR AT 40°C! CAN'T FUCKING WAIT!!!!

Grey's And Other Anatomies

I was watching the rerun of the third episode of the first season of Grey's Anatomy and McDreamy walks in looking like this (screencap from Screencap Paradise). I'm so into dorks. I think his clothes here is the pure perfection. Aah, McDreamy....

And while I'm watching this silly doctor show I'm hoping there are Burkes and Shepards and Baileys and all of them in Germany because my aunt, dad's sister, has a tumor behind her eye and her nose and is having a surgery on Tuesday. She is only 52. And it doesn't even seem real to me. I still have this immature view of life, this naive belief nothing can harm people I love. In my mind they are invincible, they are immortal. Even when my dad had a tumor removed (it was benign) I didn't for a second think he might not wake up or that it could be malignant. Death hasn't been a part of my life yet, not really. I lost a friend, yes, a friend of mine lost a baby girl recently, but I haven't lost a member of my family yet. I'm hoping this won't change anytime soon. Especially after hearing my dad say: Then I would be left alone.

Hot Blabber

Not sexually hot. The weather is horrific. It's around 36°C and they predict 40 on Thursday. Unbearable. And I usually don't mind the heat. I can take it but 40°C??! Holy shit. We're not gonna cook anything for the rest of the week, it's inhumane. And I'm still going to the library every day.
I'm desperately hoping Harry Potter will begin showing on Thursday. I can't wait to see it.
I had my photo taken today for the new ID. I'm getting them on Thursday. I wonder how they'll turn out cuz I'll have that picture for the next 10 years. I didn't hate the last one, so I'm guessing this one is due to be awful.
We might go to the pool tomorrow but I don't know if I want to. How smart would it be with this weather?

Kopika - Osijek

Currently reading: Beneath a Marble Sky (story of the Taj Mahal), John Shors - it's wonderful!

Barbecue Pictures

It was a lovely day spent with my friends. The food was good, the company was good, the music was... well, house or something, lol. I had a good time. And I did the dishes (I have photographic evidence).

Just a perfect day,
Problems all left alone,
Weekenders on our own.
It's such fun.
Just a perfect day,
You made me forget myself.
I thought I was someone else,
Someone good.

Oh it's such a perfect day,
I'm glad I spent it with you.
Oh such a perfect day,
You just keep me hanging on,
You just keep me hanging on.

Friday 13th

I have a new haircut. It's short. I'm getting used to it all over again. It's not really a change because every time I cut my hair, I cut it the same way. lol I'm so sad. It's like I'm trying to change things without changing things.
I hate neighbours. Not all neighbours. Just those that stop in front of your window while you're taking a nap so they could chat for a bit with your mother who incidentally happens to be in the back yard so that chatting requires yelling at volume that is, I'm sure, prohibited by law. That was yesterday. I also hate those neighbours who unload their wood for winter while you're taking a nap. I mean, I understand that people need wood for winter. What I don't understand is why they have to unload them by throwing logs one by one from the top of their roof on the metal sheets used for producing the sounds of thunder in movies before the digital era. Or at least that's how they make it sound. That was today.
Right now I am going to go and get my legs waxed. Again. Yippie fucking yay.
And tomorrow sister is coming home.
Happy Friday 13th.

The Departed

I finally saw it. First of all, I am not a Scorsese fan. *expecting hate mail now* I'm not a fan because honestly, he's too complicated for me. But I have to say, this one was OK. I know, I know, Doc and maybe a few others would expect praises but I'm not all that into blood. I only saw it because everyone said it was good. Here's my question: when the hell did Leonardo become hot all over again? How did that happen and where was I? WOW! But I have to say this: translating - one of the worst ones ever! "What if this was a legitimate threat?" was translated with "Što da je ovo legitiman tretman?" (What if this was a legitimate treatment?). I mean, COME ON! I don't like Damon. I just don't. Never have, never will. Not even in "Good Will Hunting". Is that it? Yeah, I think I'm done. Wait. I forgot. The music was great. OK, now I'm done. Shit. Wait. That rat at the end, that was such an unnecessary metaphor... Marty, Marty, Marty... *shakes head* I expected more from you...

Stupid Model Guy!

Why does he even address me? It's only to annoy me! Why does he presume he knows anything about my life? And why do I answer back??! Gaaaaah! And why do I let him get to me like that?
I may play a bitch, but in fact I bruise too easily...

All right, for your entertainment, the transcript:
But first, the set up: the topic on the forum was nudist beaches and stuff, so I wrote I sunbathed topless a few times and this is where he comes in, whispering of course. Oh and, he never spoke to me once after we have actually met. Just saying. So here goes:

MG: mmm, you could come swimming with us some time, then go topless
K: you know I'm gonna say "yes" to that proposal
MG: I know you're lame like that, but I love to provoke you
K: I know
I'm so uncool
MG: ok, these sarcastic remarks are uncalled for...
K: that wasn't sarcasm
MG: well then do something with your life, instead of being half-depressed all the time...
K: I don't even know what to say to you after that
MG: then say nothing...

Why does he pick on me? I don't know how to handle him!

Just Blabber

My breasts are swollen, heavy, a half of cup size bigger than usual and aching. The best time of the month. An ex would sense (or see) when that would happen and would go straight at them. I had to fight him off with a stick! Aching, dammit! Not to be touched!
Anyway... I'm at the train station today and there's this guy with two children. They are wearing matching blue/orange sweats and the older boy has beautiful curly hair, and he has a lot of it too, and the younger boy has short hair, "normal" boy's hair cut, and I'm thinking "Why on Earth would they let one boy grow all of this hair and cut the other one's short?" cuz it just seems weird. And then I see that the bigger boy is wearing pink shoes and has earrings and I realise that the "he" is in fact a girl. Poor thing. Not pretty. But here's my question: why do people dress a brother and a sister in the same clothes??! I mean, my sister and I were dressed the same a lot when we were kids and we didn't like it all that much and we were (still are!) both girls, for goodness sake! Another thing. As I was watching that guy I was thinking he's way too young to be having two kids, as I often do when I see these men with children around. I mean, I could be dating them (in theory), they're not old. And then it hits me: it's not them that are too young to be having children, it's me who is too old not to be having children! *chanting with fingers in ears* I do not hear bio-clock ticking, I do not hear bio-clock ticking...
And no, this post has no point whatsoever. But I guess that's allowed in pre-PMS state (another indicator of PMS approaching: longing for pancakes! Pancakes, anyone? I'll be making them later.)

Feel

OK, it is as it is. Nothing to do now, all I can is try to deal with it the way I can. I'm not giving up, not yet, although I have to say I'm not hoping all that much either. I suppose having a little luck will play a part too. I better start right now. God, I need a plan. Even more importantly, I need to stick to the plan! I wish I didn't feel like a failure so often in my life. I wish I managed to finish something once! How come I always give up in the middle? How come I don't have the ability to deal with obstacles? Why am I so weak?
My mother says I got that from her mother. After my grandfather hung himself, she just gave up. She basically lay down and waited to die. She just didn't have the will to deal and I'm afraid I'm just like that too. People tend to laugh when I say I'm just waiting to die but most of the time I'm dead serious (no pun intended). I can't quite explain it. Robbie Williams said it best: I don't wanna die/But I ain't keen on living either. Speaking of Feel. I wish I could feel something again. This apathy thing... not all that fun.
I have no idea what I am talking about now. Rambling.

Crushes

This quote totally deserves a post of its own. OH SO TRUE! (Except for the last two sentences cuz y'know I'd never... *trying real hard to keep a straight face here*)

crushes suck
i hate em
the dilemma, the desperation
the hopes dashed etc
the masturbation
hehehe
the masturbation is ok.
hey.. the masturbation is good..

Funny Shit

Puki from forum shared this link with us. Here are a few quotes.

Hey, you know what sucks?
vaccuums
Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
black holes
Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
lava?

d-_-b
how u make that inverted b?
wait
never mind

man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
you don't live in Hope mills do you?
ya, why man?
lol, just wondering, was her name alisson?
you mother fucker

lol
I download something from Napster
And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
"getting my song back fucker"

hey baby, whats up?
umm....nothing?
So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

67% of girls are stupid
i belong with the other 13%

I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
so i helped him walk to the toilet
all the stalls were occupied
lol
bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
and there's this guy in there taking a shit
hahahahahaha
and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
and runs away
imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

what the fuck is wtf

Dream

Oh what a dream I had! I blame Trap, lol. We've talked way too much about Model Guy yesterday so I dreamt about him being in my house for some reason, following me around and trying to make me blow him. *shudder* I have got to stop dreaming of disgusting things!

OT: Rosi form cbox sent me "I could fall in love" last night. I've been looking for someone who had it for soooo long. I can't stop listening to it now. Silly how I am such a sucker for all things romantic as long as it doesn't happen in real life.


I could lose my heart tonight
If you don't turn and walk away
'Cause the way I feel I might
Lose control and let you stay

'Cause I could take you in my arms
And never let you go

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you, baby

I can only wonder how
Touching you would make me feel
But if I take that chance right now
Tomorrow will you want me still

So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you

And I know it's not right
And I guess I should try to do what I should do
But I could fall in love, fall in love with you
I could fall, fall in love with you

So I should keep this to myself
And never let you know

I could fall in love with you
I could fall in love with you, baby

I could fall in love
I could fall in love with you, baby
I could fall, fall in love with you

Saturday Night Blabber

Aren't these the worst ones? Saturday night, a girl in her prime (all right, that's a stretch) sitting at home...
I had coffee with Trap today. So OK, I admit it, I was a bit over-dramatic... But hey, that's just me! There's nothing like gossiping about people you barely even know! It's tricky, though. You don't really know who is friends with whom so you have to censor yourself a lot. Just in case, y'know... Anyway, he said he had no idea anything was going on with LCB. Well GOOD! Not like I wanted to advertise it! Not that anything happened anyway.
Fox is trying to organise a barbecue for the selected few, lol. I said I'm in, as long as it happens after my exam, so now they're thinking about next Saturday which would be great. Barbecue, drinks, rummy... I'm no outdoor girl, but I think I'll survive.
J.K. Rowling has finished the last "Harry Potter" (here I go again). She said she had wept through the last chapters. Well who could blame her? I mean, I could cry right now when I think about it ending. And I'm a bit scared. After all, Dumbledore was killed, so literally anyone could be next. God, I can't wait the book!!!!
OK, let's face it - I've got nothing to say.

Currently reading: The Understudy, David Nicholls (supposed to be funny, but it's not so much funny as deeply depressing)